Priti Patel congratulates Boris Johnson on arrival of 3001005789th baby boy

0
Priti Patel, Minister for whatever the heck it is she does has been one of the first Government Ministers to congratulate Boris Johnson and...

New York Giraffe constipated not pregnant

0
On the 11th of February, the Animal Adventure Park in Harpursville, New York began a live feed from the inside of a Giraffe pen. 'April' the...
Hippies Hippy

Hippy English woman ‘is a pain in the arse’ say Indians

0
A woman from Rochdale who has been to India on a spiritual journey to find herself is just a monumental pain in the arse,...

Who you calling dangerous? Asks Kumbuka

0
Today the Rochdale Herald is delighted to bring you our exclusive interview with Kumbuka the gorilla who briefly escaped from London Zoo this week. RH:...

Government expands badger cull to five new areas despite warnings it doesn’t work

0
We to need press on with the solution,  said Theressa May when questioned before all the MP's went on their jollies, leaving the...
Flat earth map

Sheffield Council declare majority of citizens think world is flat

0
Sheffield Council has been forced to declare their belief in a flat earth after applying the same statistical analysis to a recent on-line poll...

Alien Overlords to Admit Existence is a computer simulation.

0
It is to be announced that reality as we understand it is nothing more than a computer simulation. The shock admission was beamed into the...

Christians, Muslims, Satanists Opposed To Pokemon Go

0
Following the UK release of Pokemon Go ten days ago, several prominent spokespersons for leading UK religious organisations have spoken out, condemning the game...
Magic Mushroom

Magic mushroom season not as bad as rumoured

0
Rumours that this year's magic mushroom season has been a let down are made of regret and the memory of socks from Bolivia, says...
Blue Planet

Outrage as BBC confirms NONE of tonight’s Blue Planet II animals will be wearing...

0
The BBC has issued an apology after leaked footage of tonight's 'Blue Planet II' revealed that NONE of the animals featured will be wearing a...

Idiot Dies in Karmic Avalanche

0
An idiot died in an avalanche of Karma in the town of Colle delle Oche near Turin, Italy yesterday. Veterinarian Luciano Ponzetto, who split his...
Hunter hunting elephants

Nearly okay to kill elephants again

0
As we take in the wonderful news of the large increase in the number of elephants across the south of Africa, Zimbabwe has called...

Attenborough Discovers New Great Ape Species In America

0
Noted elderly naturist David Attenborough was cock-a-hoop yesterday when he announced the discovery of the first new species of great ape for many years. Mr...

BBC confident Planet Earth 3 will contain ‘at least 80% Attenborough’

0
The BBC are desperately trying to complete series 3 of their hugely popular Planet Earth programme, as with all the fuckery 2016 has offered...
Wasps

Britons thrilled by early encounter with year’s first Wasp

0
Millions of Britons were given an early taste of the joys of springtime over the weekend, after the unseasonable February warmth prompted the first...
Fox

Foxes vote to bring back fox hunting after promise of ‘iconic’ fox passports

0
Foxes across the UK have voted in favour of repealing the 2004 fox hunting ban, following a Government promise to issue them with 'iconic'...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts