Lions

Dickheads eaten by lions

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At least three dickheads have been mauled to death and eaten by some lovely lions after breaking into a wildlife reserve in South Africa. The...
Blue Planet

Outrage as BBC confirms NONE of tonight’s Blue Planet II animals will be wearing...

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The BBC has issued an apology after leaked footage of tonight's 'Blue Planet II' revealed that NONE of the animals featured will be wearing a...

Pay attention to my sexual preferences not my instincts as a predator, said Kevin...

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In an emotional statement to the world's press meant to deflect allegations he has a penchant for baby antelope, Kevin the Lion has come...

Whales begin having Tupperware parties due to levels of plastic pollution

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Researchers have discovered that there is now so much plastic in the worlds oceans that whales have started to hold Tupperware parties. Professor Frederick Seddon of...
Hurricane

Trump ecstatic hurricane Harvey is bigger than every hurricane under Obama

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Donald Trump says he's especially proud that Hurricane Harvey is bigger than any Hurricane President Obama presided over. In a speech he said, "Watched...

Turkey escapes Christmas by identifying as a golden eagle.

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A turkey on a Norfolk farm has been spared slaughter after claiming to identify as a majestic bird of prey. "Once I found a tin...

If the Irish don’t want Apple’s £11BN tell them we’ll have it – say...

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It transpires that North Sea Oil Revenues now contribute £60Million to the Scottish revenue pot, down from almost £13Billion a couple of years ago...
Turkberry

Rochdale scientists breed Christmas ‘turkberry’

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Top food scientists say they are 'very close' to successfully breeding a turkey with a cranberry bush. The new 'turkberry' hybrid bush-bird could be on...

House spiders launch campaign to reduce number of ‘sleeping mouth’ fatalities

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A group of house spiders has launched a campaign aimed at reducing the number of arachnids being swallowed by sleeping humans. 

Smallbridge Flats Man Convinced Pigeon Likes to Watch him Hoover Naked

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While spending a good portion of his weekly income on the Euromillions, Mr. Garry Lee Shaw complained about the fifth or even sixth time...

A little food for thought… A pack of wolves

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The three in front are old & sick, they walk in front to set the pace of the running group lest they get left...
Wasps

Britons thrilled by early encounter with year’s first Wasp

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Millions of Britons were given an early taste of the joys of springtime over the weekend, after the unseasonable February warmth prompted the first...

Gove clarifies that Government will extend the term non-sentient to include any living being...

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In a desperate bid to look like the Tories are not using Brexit as an excuse to bring back fox hunting, cock fighting, prima...

Lost Amazon Tribe found really fit and well

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Startling news reached us today that a lost tribe of warehouse workers has been found "really fit" and well in an Amazon 'fulfilment centre'...
Flat earth map

Sheffield Council declare majority of citizens think world is flat

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Sheffield Council has been forced to declare their belief in a flat earth after applying the same statistical analysis to a recent on-line poll...

Dead whale found in Thames was Russian spy

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The Government have announced that a whale that has been found dead beside the River Thames was a Russian spy. The whale was found beside...

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