Pay attention to my sexual preferences not my instincts as a predator, said Kevin...

1
In an emotional statement to the world's press meant to deflect allegations he has a penchant for baby antelope, Kevin the Lion has come...
Hunter hunting elephants

Nearly okay to kill elephants again

0
As we take in the wonderful news of the large increase in the number of elephants across the south of Africa, Zimbabwe has called...
Hippies Hippy

Hippy English woman ‘is a pain in the arse’ say Indians

0
A woman from Rochdale who has been to India on a spiritual journey to find herself is just a monumental pain in the arse,...
Magic Mushroom

Magic mushroom season not as bad as rumoured

0
Rumours that this year's magic mushroom season has been a let down are made of regret and the memory of socks from Bolivia, says...
John Lewis Weasel

Accusations of Racism Hit John Lewis Commercial

0
The new John Lewis advert, featuring a black British family giving their daughter a trampoline for Christmas has been denounced as racist. "It's an...
Turkberry

Rochdale scientists breed Christmas ‘turkberry’

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Top food scientists say they are 'very close' to successfully breeding a turkey with a cranberry bush. The new 'turkberry' hybrid bush-bird could be on...

Turkey escapes Christmas by identifying as a golden eagle.

0
A turkey on a Norfolk farm has been spared slaughter after claiming to identify as a majestic bird of prey. "Once I found a tin...

Bears cleared of ‘shitting in the woods’ says watchdog

0
The independent Bear Complaints Commission has found that there is no evidence that bears are guilty of shitting in the woods. The misconduct watchdog,...

Who you calling dangerous? Asks Kumbuka

0
Today the Rochdale Herald is delighted to bring you our exclusive interview with Kumbuka the gorilla who briefly escaped from London Zoo this week. RH:...

A little food for thought… A pack of wolves

24
The three in front are old & sick, they walk in front to set the pace of the running group lest they get left...

Government expands badger cull to five new areas despite warnings it doesn’t work

0
We to need press on with the solution,  said Theressa May when questioned before all the MP's went on their jollies, leaving the...

Dead whale found in Thames was Russian spy

0
The Government have announced that a whale that has been found dead beside the River Thames was a Russian spy. The whale was found beside...

House spiders launch campaign to reduce number of ‘sleeping mouth’ fatalities

21
A group of house spiders has launched a campaign aimed at reducing the number of arachnids being swallowed by sleeping humans. 

Cats growing increasingly desperate to find cure for Coronavirus

0
Pet cats have announced that they're ramping up their efforts to find a cure for Coronavirus as many find they're now forced to spend...
John Lewis Weasel

Russia denies involvement as Springwatch ‘Favourite British Wild Animal’ poll won by the weasel.

0
Questions have been asked as the BBC Springwatch poll to find Britain's favourite wild animal was convincingly won by the weasel. "I have to say...

Pigeon chess champion embarrassed at being included in metaphor with Boris Johnson

0
A pigeon chess grand master from Rochdale has been telling us how he finds it a embarrassing to be included with Boris Johnson in...

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