Dickheads eaten by lions
At least three dickheads have been mauled to death and eaten by some lovely lions after breaking into a wildlife reserve in South Africa.
The...
House spiders launch campaign to reduce number of ‘sleeping mouth’ fatalities
A group of house spiders has launched a campaign aimed at reducing the number of arachnids being swallowed by sleeping humans.
Nearly okay to kill elephants again
As we take in the wonderful news of the large increase in the number of elephants across the south of Africa, Zimbabwe has called...
Turkey escapes Christmas by identifying as a golden eagle.
A turkey on a Norfolk farm has been spared slaughter after claiming to identify as a majestic bird of prey.
"Once I found a tin...
Whales begin having Tupperware parties due to levels of plastic pollution
Researchers have discovered that there is now so much plastic in the worlds oceans that whales have started to hold Tupperware parties.
Professor Frederick Seddon of...
Egyptian Zoo claim donkey identifies as zebra.
Representatives from a zoo in Cairo have come forward to say that claims that they dressed a donkey up as a zebra are unfounded...
Tickle my tummy, says genocidal bastard
A genocidal bastard from Lancashire has demanded that he has his tummy tickled this morning.
The mass murderer called Mr Wiggles made the request this...
Trump ecstatic hurricane Harvey is bigger than every hurricane under Obama
Donald Trump says he's especially proud that Hurricane Harvey is bigger than any Hurricane President Obama presided over.
In a speech he said, "Watched...
Priti Patel congratulates Boris Johnson on arrival of 3001005789th baby boy
Priti Patel, Minister for whatever the heck it is she does has been one of the first Government Ministers to congratulate Boris Johnson and...
Dog who wanted to go outside immediately wants to come back in
A dog who has spent the last hour and a half peering longingly through the patio doors at the garden is now peering longingly...
Britons thrilled by early encounter with year’s first Wasp
Millions of Britons were given an early taste of the joys of springtime over the weekend, after the unseasonable February warmth prompted the first...
Magic mushroom season not as bad as rumoured
Rumours that this year's magic mushroom season has been a let down are made of regret and the memory of socks from Bolivia, says...
South Yorkshire Police arrest tree during tree felling protest
The long standing dispute over the unpopular and legally dubious felling of Sheffield street trees took a bizarre new turn when South Yorkshire Police...
Rochdale scientists breed Christmas ‘turkberry’
Top food scientists say they are 'very close' to successfully breeding a turkey with a cranberry bush.
The new 'turkberry' hybrid bush-bird could be on...
Attenborough Discovers New Great Ape Species In America
Noted elderly naturist David Attenborough was cock-a-hoop yesterday when he announced the discovery of the first new species of great ape for many years.
Mr...
Outrage as BBC confirms NONE of tonight’s Blue Planet II animals will be wearing...
The BBC has issued an apology after leaked footage of tonight's 'Blue Planet II' revealed that NONE of the animals featured will be wearing a...
