Bears cleared of ‘shitting in the woods’ says watchdog
The independent Bear Complaints Commission has found that there is no evidence that bears are guilty of shitting in the woods.
The misconduct watchdog,...
Corbyn pledges 60,000 Mosques to built every year
The beleaguered 'leader' of the 'opposition' made the bizzare statement in an interview with Andrew Neil earlier today.
When asked what his motivation for such...
BBC confident Planet Earth 3 will contain ‘at least 80% Attenborough’
The BBC are desperately trying to complete series 3 of their hugely popular Planet Earth programme, as with all the fuckery 2016 has offered...
Dead whale found in Thames was Russian spy
The Government have announced that a whale that has been found dead beside the River Thames was a Russian spy.
The whale was found beside...
Hippy English woman ‘is a pain in the arse’ say Indians
A woman from Rochdale who has been to India on a spiritual journey to find herself is just a monumental pain in the arse,...
Alien Overlords to Admit Existence is a computer simulation.
It is to be announced that reality as we understand it is nothing more than a computer simulation.
The shock admission was beamed into the...
Gove clarifies that Government will extend the term non-sentient to include any living being...
In a desperate bid to look like the Tories are not using Brexit as an excuse to bring back fox hunting, cock fighting, prima...
Pay attention to my sexual preferences not my instincts as a predator, said Kevin...
In an emotional statement to the world's press meant to deflect allegations he has a penchant for baby antelope, Kevin the Lion has come...
Tickle my tummy, says genocidal bastard
A genocidal bastard from Lancashire has demanded that he has his tummy tickled this morning.
The mass murderer called Mr Wiggles made the request this...
Government expands badger cull to five new areas despite warnings it doesn’t work
We to need press on with the solution, said Theressa May when questioned before all the MP's went on their jollies, leaving the...
Rochdale pigeons attempt to teach Rochdale ‘couple art of love’
Two Rochdale pigeons have tonight, for the fourth night in a row, spent 45 minutes teaching Rochdale couple Stephen and Mary King the art of...
Dog who wanted to go outside immediately wants to come back in
A dog who has spent the last hour and a half peering longingly through the patio doors at the garden is now peering longingly...
Pedigree Siberian hamster spotted near Brighton
Christmas came early for a rare pedigree Siberian hamster called Dorothy who's been found safe and well in Upper Dicker, East Sussex, this week....
Lost Amazon Tribe found really fit and well
Startling news reached us today that a lost tribe of warehouse workers has been found "really fit" and well in an Amazon 'fulfilment centre'...
Magic mushroom season not as bad as rumoured
Rumours that this year's magic mushroom season has been a let down are made of regret and the memory of socks from Bolivia, says...
Turkey escapes Christmas by identifying as a golden eagle.
A turkey on a Norfolk farm has been spared slaughter after claiming to identify as a majestic bird of prey.
"Once I found a tin...
