Nature

A dog who has spent the last hour and a half peering longingly through the patio doors at the garden is now peering longingly into the living room from the garden after spending fifteen...

Researchers have discovered that there is now so much plastic in the worlds oceans that whales have started to hold Tupperware parties. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College said, "It's almost 6 decades since suburban women...

Representatives from a zoo in Cairo have come forward to say that claims that they dressed a donkey up as a zebra are unfounded and unfair on the zebra, who has lived that way...

Questions have been asked as the BBC Springwatch poll to find Britain's favourite wild animal was convincingly won by the weasel. "I have to say it's a bit of a shock" said presenter Christov Pakov....

At least three dickheads have been mauled to death and eaten by some lovely lions after breaking into a wildlife reserve in South Africa. The dickheads entered the Sibuya Game Reserve armed with a rifle,...

A genocidal bastard from Lancashire has demanded that he has his tummy tickled this morning. The mass murderer called Mr Wiggles made the request this morning after spending the night murdering babies and dismembering their...

Former prime minister David Cameron says placing his genitals in the mouth of a severed pigs head has 'turned out less badly than I first thought' He used the words "mistake, not a disaster" in...

A Tsunami threat has been issued for the East coast of England after a man who hasn't had a shit for a week finally found success in the downstairs loo. Findley Leigh-Pseudonym, a newspaper...

Foxes across the UK have voted in favour of repealing the 2004 fox hunting ban, following a Government promise to issue them with 'iconic' passports in a colour of their choice. Just over 51% of...

Christmas came early for a rare pedigree Siberian hamster called Dorothy who's been found safe and well in Upper Dicker, East Sussex, this week. She was spotted by Mrs Smelta Ratt whilst on the...

In a desperate bid to look like the Tories are not using Brexit as an excuse to bring back fox hunting, cock fighting, prima nocta, encourage ultra intensive farming practises and turn a blind...

The BBC has issued an apology after leaked footage of tonight's 'Blue Planet II' revealed that NONE of the animals featured will be wearing a Remembrance Day poppy.  The 'Coral Reefs' episode due to be aired this...

In an emotional statement to the world's press meant to deflect allegations he has a penchant for baby antelope, Kevin the Lion has come out as being openly gay. This has shocked nobody in...

It is to be announced that reality as we understand it is nothing more than a computer simulation. The shock admission was beamed into the minds of all world leaders simultaneously at 8 a.m. G.M.T....

A group of house spiders has launched a campaign aimed at reducing the number of arachnids being swallowed by sleeping humans. 

Donald Trump says he's especially proud that Hurricane Harvey is bigger than any Hurricane President Obama presided over. In a speech he said, "Watched CNN last night. Fake news. Fox say this is going...