Scientists confirm autocorrect was inverted by a cult

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A group of scientists have today confirmed what we have all long believed, that autocorrect was inverted by a cult. Professor Gerald Wiley spoke to...

Nothing says f*** you to a neighbour like a Leilandii hedge

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Scientists at Rochdale College have discovered that nothing gets the message that you hate them across to your neighbour's more than a Leilandii hedge. Dr...
Shouting Man

I don’t shave cos I’m a Gillette John, claims Heil Vis clad Neon Nazi

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Shaving that's a little too aggressive, or done with dull blades, can produce irritants which can form a rash right round your Parliament area. ...
New Year Eve Party

Turn your house into a Costa and other tips for hosting gatherings of more...

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The Government have announced that gatherings of more than 6 people are to be banned. But what do you do if your "Company AGM"...

Some like it…NOT! Monroe fan’s £8k new look more like man’s best friend than...

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French waiter Cyril Roux is a HUGE Marilyn Monroe fan. 'I guess you could say I'm addicted to injections,' mumbles Cyril Roux, a 32-year-old waiter...

Herald life hacks: Get rich quick with… an inheritance

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Experts say this is the best way to get ahead in life It's January, which means you likely have nothing but mince pie dust in...

Vegans to save UK billion man hours in tedious conversations by wearing hats saying...

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There is widespread jubilation amongst business leaders around the UK after bold plans to save a billion working man hours a week have been announced by the Institute of Vegans.

Brainless moron shaves 30 seconds off his drive home by doing 70 through the...

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One dickhead has been telling the Herald about how he has found a way to shave 30 seconds off the time it takes him...
Indian Family

Asian family enjoying post night out curry accused of ‘Cultural Appropriation’

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A British-Asian family came under intense fire today, after being accused of extreme 'cultural appropriation' from White groups, for enjoying a post pub curry...

Man dies of boredom after chance meeting with vegan who does CrossFit

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A Rochdale man has died after being placed near a group of Gym buddies at a Christmas party. Horace Cope was rushed to hospital after...

‘Research confirms Coffee holds key to immortality’

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There was good news for caffeine drinkers, addicts & nervous twitchers throughout the multiverse today, as stunning new research sensationally revealed that coffee holds...

Rochdale Herald guide to the top ten books to read before you die

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At the Rochdale Herald it's all about mindfulness and self improvement in January. In that spirit, we take a look at 10 books you should...
child

Complete sadist buys 2 year old nephew a keyboard for Christmas

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A man from Rochdale has bought his nephew the gift of music for Christmas. Stan Still told us, "I've played in bands since I was...

Gillette admit razors not suitable for sensitive skin

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International razor brand Gillette has admitted that after years of investment, their product is not suitable for the delicate skin of the modern day...

Northerner brings Kraft Slices to cheese and wine party in Surrey

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A disgraced Northerner has been barred from ever returning to the South, after he humiliated his sister at a bourgeoisie Cheese & Wine evening...

Men applaud new Gillette advert that features man carving his initials into girlfriends face...

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A new advert for Gillette razors has been lauded by Piers Morgan as, "way better than all that social justice bollocks". Piers and many other...

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