Police

Grammar police call for tougher sentences

0
Grammar police call for tougher sentences Campaigners are calling for grammar errors to be punished with tougher sentences - especially for repeat offenders. "There...

Liberal man escapes Wetherspoons seconds before Brexit seems appealing.

0
A liberal man has spoken today of his horror at being seconds away from becoming a Brexiteer. Near-victim Webastian Sliesel told our reporter Sebastian Wiesel...

Rochdale Herald guide to the top ten books to read before you die

0
At the Rochdale Herald it's all about mindfulness and self improvement in January. In that spirit, we take a look at 10 books you should...

Just 126 sleeps until Xmas, says cat

0
A local cat, Elvis Snoogums, has spoken of his excitement as Christmas gets ever closer. Speaking exclusively to the Rochdale Herald Elvis told us, "Soon...

Man puts bins out

0
Reports are emerging that a man in Rochdale has put his bins out. Stephen Dickinson of Fazzakerley Drive has put his green bin out on...
New Year Eve Party

Turn your house into a Costa and other tips for hosting gatherings of more...

0
The Government have announced that gatherings of more than 6 people are to be banned. But what do you do if your "Company AGM"...
Shouting Man

I don’t shave cos I’m a Gillette John, claims Heil Vis clad Neon Nazi

0
Shaving that's a little too aggressive, or done with dull blades, can produce irritants which can form a rash right round your Parliament area. ...
Angry man, steam coming from ears

Man bored of virtue-signalling monthly initiatives launches ‘Punch In The Facepril’

0
A Rochdale man who has had enough of your shit with your 'Ocsober'; 'Mowvember' and 'Veganuary' has decided to punch you all in the...

Getting drunk and falling over is the real meaning of Christmas, says everyone

0
Heavy drinking from breakfast till unconsciousness has won the top spot in a national survey to discover what makes Christmas so special for the...

Couple spend entire evening on Netflix before deciding what film to watch at 1am

0
Johnny and Mary (not real names) are just your average suburban dwelling couple who work hard on the weekdays and like to relax in...

Dry January downgraded to reduced drinking January

0
A Rochdale man has told us how he has revised plans to do dry January and will now be doing reduced drinking January instead. Bill...

What to do when your dog dies in your hot car

0
Summer is here and forecasters are predicting a heatwave in the coming weeks. With temperatures expected to hit 30oC the country will be awash...

Northerner brings Kraft Slices to cheese and wine party in Surrey

0
A disgraced Northerner has been barred from ever returning to the South, after he humiliated his sister at a bourgeoisie Cheese & Wine evening...

Scientists confirm autocorrect was inverted by a cult

0
A group of scientists have today confirmed what we have all long believed, that autocorrect was inverted by a cult. Professor Gerald Wiley spoke to...

Some like it…NOT! Monroe fan’s £8k new look more like man’s best friend than...

0
French waiter Cyril Roux is a HUGE Marilyn Monroe fan. 'I guess you could say I'm addicted to injections,' mumbles Cyril Roux, a 32-year-old waiter...

Wankers now the majority of the public, scientists conclude.

0
A newly published report shows that 55% of the British public are tossers. Professor Onan Offtherist from the Rochdale Institute of Masturbatory Studies told us...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts