Nothing says f*** you to a neighbour like a Leilandii hedge
Scientists at Rochdale College have discovered that nothing gets the message that you hate them across to your neighbour's more than a Leilandii hedge.
Dr...
Posh twit in gilet loses both arms to frostbite
Henry Charles Chomlomoly has been telling us how he's lost both his arms whilst out sledging.
Harry told us, "Cripes, got up this morning and...
Gillette admit razors not suitable for sensitive skin
International razor brand Gillette has admitted that after years of investment, their product is not suitable for the delicate skin of the modern day...
Dry January downgraded to reduced drinking January
A Rochdale man has told us how he has revised plans to do dry January and will now be doing reduced drinking January instead.
Bill...
Wankers now the majority of the public, scientists conclude.
A newly published report shows that 55% of the British public are tossers.
Professor Onan Offtherist from the Rochdale Institute of Masturbatory Studies told us...
‘Research confirms Coffee holds key to immortality’
There was good news for caffeine drinkers, addicts & nervous twitchers throughout the multiverse today, as stunning new research sensationally revealed that coffee holds...
Theresa May urges parents to ‘eat their children’ given current political situation
Theresa May urges parents to 'eat their children' given current political situation.
Prime Minister Theresa May has urged British parents to "eat your children" claiming...
Just 126 sleeps until Xmas, says cat
A local cat, Elvis Snoogums, has spoken of his excitement as Christmas gets ever closer.
Speaking exclusively to the Rochdale Herald Elvis told us, "Soon...
Rochdale captains of industry look forward to purchasing artisans at new Rochdale Artisan Market
Local businessmen had their collective cocks in a hoop at the news that an Artisan Market is to be launched in Rochdale.
"Following Brexit all...
Turn your house into a Costa and other tips for hosting gatherings of more...
The Government have announced that gatherings of more than 6 people are to be banned. But what do you do if your "Company AGM"...
Liberal man escapes Wetherspoons seconds before Brexit seems appealing.
A liberal man has spoken today of his horror at being seconds away from becoming a Brexiteer.
Near-victim Webastian Sliesel told our reporter Sebastian Wiesel...
Men applaud new Gillette advert that features man carving his initials into girlfriends face...
A new advert for Gillette razors has been lauded by Piers Morgan as, "way better than all that social justice bollocks".
Piers and many other...
Complete sadist buys 2 year old nephew a keyboard for Christmas
A man from Rochdale has bought his nephew the gift of music for Christmas.
Stan Still told us, "I've played in bands since I was...
Vegans to save UK billion man hours in tedious conversations by wearing hats saying...
There is widespread jubilation amongst business leaders around the UK after bold plans to save a billion working man hours a week have been announced by the Institute of Vegans.
“Family friendly” pubs to ban single men at weekends
Pubs that describe themselves as family friendly say they intend to ban single men from their premises at weekends.
Parent Cindy "Everyone's a pedo" Maguire...
Couple spend entire evening on Netflix before deciding what film to watch at 1am
Johnny and Mary (not real names) are just your average suburban dwelling couple who work hard on the weekdays and like to relax in...
