Man dies of boredom after chance meeting with vegan who does CrossFit

0
A Rochdale man has died after being placed near a group of Gym buddies at a Christmas party. Horace Cope was rushed to hospital after...

Brainless moron shaves 30 seconds off his drive home by doing 70 through the...

0
One dickhead has been telling the Herald about how he has found a way to shave 30 seconds off the time it takes him...
Woman walking through shopping crown

Rochdale captains of industry look forward to purchasing artisans at new Rochdale Artisan Market

0
Local businessmen had their collective cocks in a hoop at the news that an Artisan Market is to be launched in Rochdale. "Following Brexit all...
Shouting Man

I don’t shave cos I’m a Gillette John, claims Heil Vis clad Neon Nazi

0
Shaving that's a little too aggressive, or done with dull blades, can produce irritants which can form a rash right round your Parliament area. ...

Just 126 sleeps until Xmas, says cat

0
A local cat, Elvis Snoogums, has spoken of his excitement as Christmas gets ever closer. Speaking exclusively to the Rochdale Herald Elvis told us, "Soon...

Getting drunk and falling over is the real meaning of Christmas, says everyone

0
Heavy drinking from breakfast till unconsciousness has won the top spot in a national survey to discover what makes Christmas so special for the...

What to do when your dog dies in your hot car

0
Summer is here and forecasters are predicting a heatwave in the coming weeks. With temperatures expected to hit 30oC the country will be awash...
Police

Grammar police call for tougher sentences

0
Grammar police call for tougher sentences Campaigners are calling for grammar errors to be punished with tougher sentences - especially for repeat offenders. "There...
Smartphone

I’m definitely not addicted to my smartphone, says person reading this on her smartphone

0
A Rochdale woman has told her friends that she's definitely not addicted to her smartphone, whilst reading a news story about people being addicted...

Trump to produce new range of fragrances

0
Donald Trump is to collaborate with daughter Ivanka to produce a new range of perfumes. The first daughter said "This new range reflects...

Rochdale Herald guide to the top ten books to read before you die

0
At the Rochdale Herald it's all about mindfulness and self improvement in January. In that spirit, we take a look at 10 books you should...

Some like it…NOT! Monroe fan’s £8k new look more like man’s best friend than...

0
French waiter Cyril Roux is a HUGE Marilyn Monroe fan. 'I guess you could say I'm addicted to injections,' mumbles Cyril Roux, a 32-year-old waiter...

Liberal man escapes Wetherspoons seconds before Brexit seems appealing.

0
A liberal man has spoken today of his horror at being seconds away from becoming a Brexiteer. Near-victim Webastian Sliesel told our reporter Sebastian Wiesel...

Gillette admit razors not suitable for sensitive skin

0
International razor brand Gillette has admitted that after years of investment, their product is not suitable for the delicate skin of the modern day...

“Family friendly” pubs to ban single men at weekends

0
Pubs that describe themselves as family friendly say they intend to ban single men from their premises at weekends. Parent Cindy "Everyone's a pedo" Maguire...

Men applaud new Gillette advert that features man carving his initials into girlfriends face...

0
A new advert for Gillette razors has been lauded by Piers Morgan as, "way better than all that social justice bollocks". Piers and many other...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts