Woman walking through shopping crown

Rochdale captains of industry look forward to purchasing artisans at new Rochdale Artisan Market

0
Local businessmen had their collective cocks in a hoop at the news that an Artisan Market is to be launched in Rochdale. "Following Brexit all...

Liberal man escapes Wetherspoons seconds before Brexit seems appealing.

0
A liberal man has spoken today of his horror at being seconds away from becoming a Brexiteer. Near-victim Webastian Sliesel told our reporter Sebastian Wiesel...

Gillette admit razors not suitable for sensitive skin

0
International razor brand Gillette has admitted that after years of investment, their product is not suitable for the delicate skin of the modern day...

Scientists confirm autocorrect was inverted by a cult

0
A group of scientists have today confirmed what we have all long believed, that autocorrect was inverted by a cult. Professor Gerald Wiley spoke to...

Getting drunk and falling over is the real meaning of Christmas, says everyone

0
Heavy drinking from breakfast till unconsciousness has won the top spot in a national survey to discover what makes Christmas so special for the...
Shouting Man

I don’t shave cos I’m a Gillette John, claims Heil Vis clad Neon Nazi

0
Shaving that's a little too aggressive, or done with dull blades, can produce irritants which can form a rash right round your Parliament area. ...

Nothing says f*** you to a neighbour like a Leilandii hedge

0
Scientists at Rochdale College have discovered that nothing gets the message that you hate them across to your neighbour's more than a Leilandii hedge. Dr...

What to do when your dog dies in your hot car

0
Summer is here and forecasters are predicting a heatwave in the coming weeks. With temperatures expected to hit 30oC the country will be awash...

Couple spend entire evening on Netflix before deciding what film to watch at 1am

0
Johnny and Mary (not real names) are just your average suburban dwelling couple who work hard on the weekdays and like to relax in...

Rochdale Herald guide to the top ten books to read before you die

0
At the Rochdale Herald it's all about mindfulness and self improvement in January. In that spirit, we take a look at 10 books you should...

Just 126 sleeps until Xmas, says cat

0
A local cat, Elvis Snoogums, has spoken of his excitement as Christmas gets ever closer. Speaking exclusively to the Rochdale Herald Elvis told us, "Soon...

Blitz spirit will see us through says man panic buying sanitary towels and Quinoa

0
The UK's Health Secretary, Matt Hancock, has likened the nation's handling of the Coronavirus pandemic to the "Blitz spirit" which saw plucky Brits through...

Dry January downgraded to reduced drinking January

0
A Rochdale man has told us how he has revised plans to do dry January and will now be doing reduced drinking January instead. Bill...

“Family friendly” pubs to ban single men at weekends

0
Pubs that describe themselves as family friendly say they intend to ban single men from their premises at weekends. Parent Cindy "Everyone's a pedo" Maguire...

Brainless moron shaves 30 seconds off his drive home by doing 70 through the...

0
One dickhead has been telling the Herald about how he has found a way to shave 30 seconds off the time it takes him...
child

Complete sadist buys 2 year old nephew a keyboard for Christmas

0
A man from Rochdale has bought his nephew the gift of music for Christmas. Stan Still told us, "I've played in bands since I was...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts