Vegans to save UK billion man hours in tedious conversations by wearing hats saying...
There is widespread jubilation amongst business leaders around the UK after bold plans to save a billion working man hours a week have been announced by the Institute of Vegans.
Herald life hacks: Get rich quick with… an inheritance
Experts say this is the best way to get ahead in life
It's January, which means you likely have nothing but mince pie dust in...
Northerner brings Kraft Slices to cheese and wine party in Surrey
A disgraced Northerner has been barred from ever returning to the South, after he humiliated his sister at a bourgeoisie Cheese & Wine evening...
Dry January downgraded to reduced drinking January
A Rochdale man has told us how he has revised plans to do dry January and will now be doing reduced drinking January instead.
Bill...
Man bored of virtue-signalling monthly initiatives launches ‘Punch In The Facepril’
A Rochdale man who has had enough of your shit with your 'Ocsober'; 'Mowvember' and 'Veganuary' has decided to punch you all in the...
Wankers now the majority of the public, scientists conclude.
A newly published report shows that 55% of the British public are tossers.
Professor Onan Offtherist from the Rochdale Institute of Masturbatory Studies told us...
Herald lifestyle guides – How to be a New Hippy
Want to be a 21st century Hippie or is it Hippy?
Do you remember the days when everything was far out, and the man was...
Trump to produce new range of fragrances
Donald Trump is to collaborate with daughter Ivanka to produce a new range of perfumes.
The first daughter said "This new range reflects...
“Family friendly” pubs to ban single men at weekends
Pubs that describe themselves as family friendly say they intend to ban single men from their premises at weekends.
Parent Cindy "Everyone's a pedo" Maguire...
Complete sadist buys 2 year old nephew a keyboard for Christmas
A man from Rochdale has bought his nephew the gift of music for Christmas.
Stan Still told us, "I've played in bands since I was...
Rochdale Herald guide to the top ten books to read before you die
At the Rochdale Herald it's all about mindfulness and self improvement in January.
In that spirit, we take a look at 10 books you should...
Middle aged man who bought passata just one small step from red skinny jeans...
Rochdale man Stan Still is just a short step away from buying skinny red jeans according to his girlfriend.
Alga Rithem, Stan's partner for the...
What to do when your dog dies in your hot car
Summer is here and forecasters are predicting a heatwave in the coming weeks. With temperatures expected to hit 30oC the country will be awash...
I’m definitely not addicted to my smartphone, says person reading this on her smartphone
A Rochdale woman has told her friends that she's definitely not addicted to her smartphone, whilst reading a news story about people being addicted...
Blitz spirit will see us through says man panic buying sanitary towels and Quinoa
The UK's Health Secretary, Matt Hancock, has likened the nation's handling of the Coronavirus pandemic to the "Blitz spirit" which saw plucky Brits through...
Posh twit in gilet loses both arms to frostbite
Henry Charles Chomlomoly has been telling us how he's lost both his arms whilst out sledging.
Harry told us, "Cripes, got up this morning and...
