Idris Elba to play Duke of Wellington

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In what has been seen as an homage to Brexit, Idris Elba is to take on the role of The Duke of Wellington in a new film, "Battle of Waterloo". Although some have called the...
Bradley Walsh

Bradley Walsh cast on Doctor Who to tackle underrepresentation of middle aged white men

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Popular presenter of ITV’s The Chase, Bradley Walsh, has been announced today as a new companion in long running BBC sci-fi show, Doctor Who. The decision is being hailed as a great move against the...

Nigella returns with a series on how to wank vegetables

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After a 5 year absence from our screens while laying into toot, Nigella Lawson returns to our screens this week with a series dedicated to suggestively stroking root vegetables. After many years paying attention...
Ed Sheeran

Bloke who knocked Ed Sheeran off bike given MBE for services to music industry

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The man who ran over Ed Sheeran and broke his arm will receive an MBE in the new year’s honours list, it has been revealed. Police officers and government officials set about identifying the perpetrator...

It’s Official. Report Confirms James Corden Is Not Funny

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The showbiz world is in shock today as it was announced that James Corden is not funny. Following inappropriate ‘jokes’ made by Corden about pervert Harvey Weinstein at a charity gala in Hollywood, the...

A-ha Star In Blaze Nightmare

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A source close to 80’s Norwegian heartthrob Morten Harket, of synthpop sensations A-ha, has confirmed that the housewives’ favourite was rushed to hospital last week following a blaze at the house in Oslo he...

Jabba The Hutt denies allegations he’s ever been a movie producer

The interstellar crime boss and CEO of Tatooine’s largest cartel has gone on the record to deny allegations that he has ever received a credit as a movie producer. The morbidly obese space slug who...

Desperate Cheeto – A video by Randy Rainbow

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Ever since we first saw him, we at The Herald have loved the fabulous Randy Rainbow, but he's outdone himself this time. https://www.facebook.com/RandyRainbowOfficial/videos/1204378566330751 Keep up the great work Randy and we'll send you a free mug...

Fifty Shades Of Grey to become the government’s new race relations manual

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We’ve all heard the expression about not judging a book by its cover, but one of the most notorious books of the current decade has just been judged by its title. In response to increasing...

Pressure grows for superhero movie with strong male lead

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Following the box office success of ‘Wonder Woman’ pressure is growing for a Hollywood studio to finally make a superhero movie with a strong male lead. Superhero movies have been repeatedly criticised in recent...

Donald Trump Twitter Account wins Nobel Prize for fiction

The American character actor, author and comedian behind the Twitter Account, @realdonaldtrump, has scooped the Nobel Prize award for the best work of fiction in 2017. The American prankster and president Donald Trump said he...

Musicians speak at upset of knowing that Tories like their work

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Distraught musicians Florence Welch and Calvin Harris have spoken out at their horror of discovering that they have next to no control over what type of people might like their music. The musicians have...
Family Watching Television

ITV to rival Gogglebox with show about idiots watching morons watching television

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Channel 4 have been ratings kings for the last few years with their flagship show, Gogglebox.  In the surprise smash idiots get to watch idiots watching TV. There are several families who participate by...

BBC apologise for penis in background of May the Queen Bee

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The BBC and producers of Prime Minister's Question Time show, May the Queen Bee, have today apologised for an offensive penis that appeared in the background of a recent episode. The episode was scrubbed...

Angry Bake Off viewers demand Noel Fielding ‘get back in the effing fridge’

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Ofcom enquiry expected after record complaints pour in for presenter's poor taste antics. Following the record number of complaints received concerning last week's episode of The Great British Bake Off, which featured a segment where...

Channel 4 GBBO winner to bake Noel Fielding into space cake and consume him

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Television pundits were going mad this afternoon with the leaked news that the finale of Great British Bake Off on Channel 4 features the winner of the competition baking Noel Fielding into a space...

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