5000 American tourists arrested for ‘hostile reconnaissance’.
The Metropolitan Police Hostile Reconnaissance Unit has arrested more than 5,000 American tourists in the last two days.
No arrests made as gang of white people chase group of black men through...
Reports are coming in of a civil disturbance in London which has seen a mob of almost 40,000 white people chase a small group...
Police find cannabis farm at Rochdale old folks home
Cannabis plants have been uncovered at 'Bright Horizons' home for the elderly, Kirkholt, this morning.
Police describe the haul as a kick in the...
Attention seeker Brian Harvey arrested after sending himself abusive Tweets
Former East 17 Band member and serial own foot shooter Brian Harvey is said to be in trouble with the police over alleged malicious...
Fatal logic feedback loop kills five more Americans
America has once again been proved right as yet another mass shooting takes place in shopping mall and nobody armed inside could shoot the...
God bothering Stephen Fry to be stoned to death for blasphemy, the pure gobshite
Stephen Fry has been summoned to appear in the Irish Courts to face the charge of breaching the Irish Defamation Act.
It comes after the...
Cocaine price plummets after death of Tara Palmer Tomkinson
The National Crime Agency has warned MP's that the Class A drug is 'set to flood the market' after the untimely death of Tara...
“I did not have fap relations with my work computer” says Damien Green
The beleaguered Secretary of State is still denying accusations of downloading and viewing porn like a teen with two dicks on his office computer...
‘Fake Sheikh’ Gets 15 Months For Making Obscene Phone Calls
Undercover Herald reporter Bazzer McNood has been sentenced to 15 months (suspended) plus a 20 hour Community Service Order for making lewd and obscene nuisance phone...
Trump’s Alt-Assassination. The Facts.
Reports that Donald Trump had been assassinated by a mentally disturbed right-wing white Southerner were denied by the White House yesterday.
The world press was...
Judge insists stabbing people is fine provided you’re rich and pretty
A Judge set a legal precedent today after ruling that stabbing someone is fine provided you are blonde, twenty four, have a posh name, great...
Not all men, say men
Men would like you to know that the thing a man just did, just isn't something they would do
Following a recent incident where a...
Duke of Edinburgh embroiled in food poisoning compensation scam
The Duke of Edinburgh is reported to have become embroiled in a food poisoning compensation scam scandal today just hours after being discharged from...
Jacob Rees-Mogg snapped drinking mead on the night bus
Haunted hatstand Jacob Rees-Mogg has been forced to issue an apology today after he was snapped drinking mead on the night bus on Tuesday.
The...
South Yorkshire Police arrest tree during tree felling protest
The long standing dispute over the unpopular and legally dubious felling of Sheffield street trees took a bizarre new turn when South Yorkshire Police...
Deranged cycle path murders his spell checker
Rochdale police have announced they have comprehended and changed a man in his fortes for the brittle killing of his spell checker.
In a statesman, a...
