National News

Prince Harry is breaking with Royal protocol by marrying an American actress he is barely related to. Kensington Palace are said to be disturbed  saying in a press release that it is "very unusual but...

A crowdfunding campaign set up to raise enough money for a copy of Bravo Two Zero and a man size box of tissues for Mark Francois has been declared a rip roaring success.  Campaign organiser,...

The dead animals that the cat has been dragging in from the garden are not gifts, they’re warnings cats have confirmed. Fluffles the cat, from Wetherby in North Yorkshire, has confirmed that he has been...

The Daily Mail has revealed its very special D-Day supplement today. The supplement will be available this weekend and looks back to a time when the newspaper was a prominent supporter of the Nazis...

Prince Andrew will release a sex tape in the cuming weeks in an effort to put to bed any rumours about his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein.  The move comes after the interview he gave last...

The Kennel club released a statement this afternoon saying that people who don't own a dog but go for a daily walk are a bit weird, probably up to something and should be approached with caution.

The people responsible for negotiating the UK's exit from the European Union have confirmed that three billion pounds is a completely reasonable sum of money to spend on a boat with a hole in...

Prince Charles is believed to be privately urging the Queen to visit 

The entire United Kingdom muttered "for fuck's sake" in unision yesterday afternoon after learning that Boris Johnson has been "elected: new Conservative leader and will become the next UK prime minister. Divisive lying shitweasel and...

A spokesman for Southern Rail confirmed to the Rochdale Herald that in view of the anticipated two day delay the four minute warning given in advance of nuclear attacks would consequently be extended to 2,880 minutes.

There were awkward scenes for Prince Andrew today at a nativity in Sandringham when a virgin was told she will  have a baby. The Prince was there representing the Queen. Many of the casts parents...

Regular visitors to Hampsted Heath have been informed all glory holes will be closed from tomorrow as a mark of respect to George Michael. A mass of floral tribute has already began to appear outside...

London's continued plans to absorb the entirety of Great Britain into the never ending tentacles of its grotesque boundaries were handed a huge boost today. Transport For London excitedly announced news of a deal...

The Government has revealed that Britain has taken back control of its fishing waters and hidden them in Shropshire. A spokesman said, "For too long these French and Spanish fishermen have fished our fish in...

There was a much needed boost for disabled theatre lovers today, as a West End theatre confirmed they had secured the use of Ant McPartlin's forehead as a ramp for wheelchair access as part...

Tie me kangaroo down Banksy, can you tell who it is yet? Well perhaps here at The Rochdale Herald we are nearer to being able to say yes, yes we can as a four...