Shed fire

Fire at Burnley Art School causes pounds worth of damage

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Yesterday's fire at the Burnley School for the Arts has caused £500 worth of damage. Early indications are that the bus stop is irreparably...

Go Ogle phone App comes with Upskirt as the newest must have photo mode

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The chaps at Go Ogle Apps were quick to capitalise on Parliament's decision not to outlaw taking an unwanted picture up a skirt. The, ironically...
Rees Mogg

Universal Credit cheaper way to kill the poor than building gas chambers, says Jacob...

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Jacob Rees-Mogg has astounded many people by stating that the Universal Credit fiasco is the cheapest way the Government has come up with to...
Putin White Denim

Fifa officials turn down Putin’s offer of dinner in Zizzi’s following World Cup opening...

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  Fifa officials last night refused to comment on rumours that they all turned down Vladimir Putin's offer of an all-expenses paid trip to Zizzi's...

Praying for Grenfell survivors definitely the least you can do, say experts

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Praying for the survivors and victims of the Grenfell Tower fire is definitely the least you can do experts have claimed. Dr Frederick Seddon...
Brexit Bus

4,600 redundancies at Rolls Royce was on the other bus, insist Brexiteers

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Brexiteers have been quick to point out that 4,600 people being made redundant at Rolls Royce was on a different bus to the one...

Fireman Sam denies having ever met Norman Price

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Pontypandy fireman, Fireman Sam has again denied having ever met Norman Price on more than 3 occasions. The denial comes amidst growing calls for...

Roller coaster that maimed young people perfect metaphor for Brexit says The Sun

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The Sun "Newspaper" has chosen to symbolise Brexit using a picture of the Alton Towers roller coaster, The Smiler. One reader commented, "It's strange that...

Daily Express unveils new corporate logo

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The Daily Express as revealed a new corporate logo today that it says is more in keeping with how it and its readers view...

We’ll make a success of Brexit, says country where businesses can’t sell things for...

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Britain has said that it's perfectly equipped to make a success of Brexit even though shops that sell things for a pound are closing. Business...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson’s Hair and Trump’s Hair to have Puppies

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In a stunning announcement today it was revealed, that Boris Johnson's hair impregnated Donald Trump's hair a few months ago. Boris Johnson revealed this morning...
Hull

Ruins of city unearthed by earthquake “just Hull” archaeologists told

Excitement in the archaeological world this weekend turned to bitter disappointment after archaeologists discovered the ruins of a primitive civilisation on the Yorkshire cost...

Man singing “Free Tommy Robinson” thought he was entering competition to meet him

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A man who spent yesterday in London singing "Free Tommy Robinson" has said he thought he was entering a competition to meet him. Dave Wild...
Grimsby

Earthquake rescue workers assured Grimsby is fine, it’s supposed to look like that

Earthquake rescue teams from around the globe were told to stand down today after they descended en masse on Grimsby in Lincolnshire following reports...

Meghan Markle proves she’s mastered waving

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Meghan Markle revealed that she's perfected the art of waving to thousands of people. The Duchess of Sussex was appearing at the Trooping of the...
David Davis

New Heathrow runway will make getting to France easier say Brexiteers

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The new runway at Heathrow airport will be completed just in time for leading Brexiteer's to use it to leave the country for villa's...

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