Local News

Reports are coming in that a twat has ruined a perfectly serviceable barbecue after finding an old guitar next to a sofa in the back room. The incident occurred at around 4pm local time as...

Tragedy has struck a Rochdale landmark pub, The Baum, over the weekend causing literally pounds of damage when fire swept through the building. Firefighters who were called to the blaze spent several hours tackling the...

An as yet unnamed MP for Rochdale has allegedly been arrested for being drunk in charge of a mobility scooter. Police were called in the early hours of the morning after the unnamed MP allegedly...

UKIP were forced to admit today that big words like "joke" and "obvious" are generally beyond their grasp. The announcement came after a social media poo storm followed the announcement by Bromley UKIP Councillor Terry...

The often misunderstood sport of dog fighting will soon move from the underground scene to a purpose-built two-hundred seat arena in Rochdale. With a perspex surround, much like an ice hockey rink, a licensed...

A wife has begun to suspect her husband of having an affair with his shed. “He was the most doting husband when we first married,” Mrs Marjorie Casserole begun, after phoning the Rochdale Herald’s confidential...

The British Army was deployed in Burnley town centre earlier today to quell civil unrest apparently taking place in the city's popular shopping district. Army chiefs were dismayed to discover the source of the problem...

There were scenes of carnage yesterday after a lion got loose and mauled several people at the annual Rochdale Pride event. One eye witness said, "I knew something had gone wrong because my friend turned...

Rochdale Council recently held a competition to name it's new flagship refuse truck. Amongst the suggestions offered were 'Binny McBin Face', 'Shit Truck' and 'Binner Round The World'. The competition winner, 11 year old Glenlyce Hypervent...

While spending a good portion of his weekly income on the Euromillions, Mr. Garry Lee Shaw complained about the fifth or even sixth time that week that he’d seen the exact same pigeon outside...

The growing trend for eateries to use ridiculous items to serve your food on is now becoming a serious issue as local pottery firm closes its doors for good. "Rochdale Pots & Plates" has been...

In a bizarre turn of events at Rochdale's number one marital aid retailer, Coxfam, a robbery was foiled when a masked intruder was beaten off with a premium sex toy. The attacker forced his way...

It has taken years of diligent campaigning and endless hours of tough negotiating but finally Simon Danczuk has achieved something material for the citizens Rochdale. Today saw the unveiling of Simon Danczuk's crowning achievement. A...

Executives at Rotherham based media company Hot Pot Productions were left floundering today after yet another blow, the announcement that their flagship production, a reboot of the popular afternoon quiz show 'Going For Gold,'...

A Rochdale based psychic has won the Euromillions lottery for the sixth week running. In an interview conducted 7 weeks ago Psychic Islet told us, "I've always been able to see into the future. Every...

Burnley Council has been forced to cancel its annual community Nativity Play for the 126th consecutive year in succession. After another exhaustive search of the Borough they were yet again unable to find three wise...