Local News

The creator of the World Wide Web has today declared that he officially "cannot be arsed" with the Internet anymore.  This comes after the revelation that people like Linda Blanston (name changed to protect her...

A homeless Rochdale man has been telling the Herald about how he's fed up of virtue signalling people only buying him McDonald's meals. David Wild told the Herald, "You see them looking at you then...

An iconic Rochdale landmark built in the 14th Century has reopened after it was obscured from the public for over a hundred years. The bridge over the river Roch in heart of Rochdale's town centre was partly obliterated in a terrorist incident in 1903, and then paved over to make way for Rochdale's pioneering new tram network.

“You have to send help.” Dr Thump implored the emergency operator. “If this jelly gets out of my fridge there is no telling what it will do. It might start a nuclear war or worse.”

Fop haired twat and Yeovil MP Marcus "doesn't respond to emails" Fysh has become embroiled in a freedom of speech row on Twitter and Facebook. Mr Fysh MP, who owns a computer and apparently a...

UKIP, the party whose sole purpose was to foster the UK public to vote to leave the EU- which happened despite them- is apparently in chaos after three people that nobody has ever heard...

The owner of a Villa in Alicante is said to be furious after discovering the Danczuk's had been holidaying in his property. Simon Danczuk, God bothering pornography enthusiast, creative accountant, serial text pest and part-time...

A new gastro pub, The Pissed Idiot, in Rochdale is under investigation by trading standards after allegedly serving food on actual plates rather than on old dustbin lids and chopping boards. "We've received reports of...

Reports from GMP Rochdale are somewhat vague to say the least, so the minimum we can assume from the information supplied is the horse is somewhere between the size of a cat and a dinosaur. It's definitely...

A Rochdale couple is now entering their third day of disposing of bottles at their local bottle bank.

The popular exhibition celebrating the life and work of the Lunts is due to return to Rochdale Central Library next week. Rochdale born couple Cybil and Alec Lunt are probably best known for their popular...

A 27 year old woman was arrested and briefly detained by South Yorkshire Police after a Thomson  Airways cabin staff member spotted her reading a book while being brown. Faizah Shaheen, who helps prevent teenage mental...

Members of the public have reacted with OUTRAGE at the news that a new tattoo studio for babies and toddlers has opened in Rochdale town centre.

One of Rochdale's most iconic landmarks, the Welcome to Rochdale; Arsehole of Europe' signpost, has come under threat as Britain gears up for leaving the EU. Rochdale has held the official European 'Arsehole' title for...

Burnley Council has announced plans for town to be available in colour from 2022. Just the Town Centre will be effected initially. The announcement was made in garbled English written on the back of...

South Yorkshire Police Commissioner Adam Spillings went on record today as saying his force would no longer be arresting tree campaigners for doing nothing wrong 'under trade union law or any other law'. He...