Reverse-only cars to propel American manufacturing forward

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It has been revealed that the Donald Trump administration plans to revitalise America’s former manufacturing heartland – the Rust Belt – with production of...

Women remain underrepresented amongst Taliban leadership

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It has been revealed that women remain underrepresented amongst the leadership of the Afghan terrorist group the Taliban. An internal review carried out by...
Ancient text

“The Cheesemakers?”

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Archaeologists near Jerusalem have discovered what is believed to be a missing page from the Old Testament. If genuine it belongs at the beginning of...
Obi Wan Kenobi

‘What happened on Alderaan was terrible but I condemn the violence done by all...

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Obi Wan Kenobi, under pressure from Yoda and other members of the ghost Jedi Council to condemn the destruction of Alderaan, has issued a...

President Trump to ‘grab May by the pussy’

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Donald Trump may touch the UK prime minister's vagina in their first private meeting, the president has tweeted. The straw-haired misogynist wrote, "Excited to meet...

Trump promises to help Puerto Ricans who present him with dry US birth certificates

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President Donald Trump has responded to criticism of his failure to rush aid to Puerto Rico in the wake of Hurricane Maria by promising...

Obama calls for ban on rapists and racists from entering public office

In a shock move Barack Obama has called for a total ban on racist narcissists, rapists and tax evaders from entering public office until he can figure out "what the hell is going on."

Pornhub to hide videos between pages of print for 24hrs in tribute to Hefner

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Online mega porn hub, Pornhub, has announced it will hide every video on its webpage between pages of unnecessary print journalism for twenty four...

British taxpayers waste £280 million to build miniature luxury motorway on tiny island

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St Helena has just seen the completion of a spanking brand new airport... sorry motorway.  All the latest materials and construction techniques were employed to...

Churchill, Bill Clinton, Castro estates involved in Cuban cigar crisis

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The demise of Castro has triggered a dangerous standoff between East and West superpowers.  Upon the news of the death of Castro shares in antique...

Putin admits attack on Skripal start of ‘War on Dubstep’

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After repeated denials of involvement in the Skripal affair, Vladimir Putin has finally been moved to admit it was a deliberate attack. Putin...
Dumpster Fire

Dumpster fires unhappy about comparisons to US Democracy

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Skip fires around the world have declared they are unhappy with being compared to the US democratic process.
Man in tinfoil hat

Trump: tinfoil a good defence against mind control rays

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President-elect Donald J Trump has announced a groundbreaking and cutting edge technology to combat the growing menace of conspiracies facing the US. He is well...
Children Running

Teaching children to Zig Zag best way to avoid school shooting fatalities, say NRA

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In the wake of yet another mass school shooting in the USA the National Rifle Association have suggested that the tragedy could have been...

God outs Gay Gay-Hate preacher with biblical punitive flood

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Pastor Tony Perkins, President of the Family Research Council and a particularly lamentable human being, has been hoist by his own petard and "outed"...
Beekeeper

Beekeeper stung to death after Danish Police force him to remove veil

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Denmark was in shock today after a Danish beekeeper was stung to death in a tragic apiculture accident in Denmark. The news comes just days...

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