Trump awards Trump Imaginary Medal of Honor for imaginary heroics
President of the actually terrific US, Donald Trump, is to reward his own bravery with a special medal, the Purple Cheeseburger, after his courage...
UN tells Goodwill Ambassador to fuck off
After a record low of zero days in the job, the new UN Ambassador, whose job it would've been to generally spread love and...
Sponsorship deal agreed for new Emirates Notre Dame Cathedral
Following the destruction of popular prayer centre Notre Dame Cathedral, the Pope and President Macron jointly announced today that the gothic edifice would be...
Audi driver becomes first in space after tailgating Tesla into orbit
A Rochdale man has become the first Rochdale resident to go into space.
Ted Skeat, 48 achieved the feat by tailgating a Tesla car on...
Trump apologises for misreading email.
President Donald J. Trump has apologised for misreading an email which has led to some bizarre policy announcements in the last few days.
The President was...
No one expects the Spanish Inquisition, says King Felipe of Spain
During his state visit, the king of Spain addressed the British parliament yesterday. All went well until the king dropped the G-bomb: Gibraltar.
A...
Home Office to open Job Centre and Benefits Office in Migrant Calais Jungle
There was outrage in the editorial bunker at The Rochdale Herald after one of the editorial team accidentally read an article in the Telegraph.
"It...
Australia to import convicts and export coal – Says Turnbull
Australian Prime Minister, Malcolm Turnbull, has left the G20 Summit with what he called a "stupendous new deal". After much grovelling to British Prime...
Julian Assange wins FSB employee of the month
Julian Assange has explained that he is happy to be awarded FSB's employee of the month for July award.
The Russian secret service organisation said...
Am I Mexican? Ask Trump voters after he says USA will pay for Wall
The recently announced decision that the wall between Mexico and the USA will be built using American taxpayers money under a piece of legislation...
Hurricane Harvey considered least destructive 2020 presidential candidate
In an attempt to win back votes from the orange-painted tweeting shitangutan, the Democrats have turned to Hurricane Harvey to stand as their candidate...
Home Office To Issue Migrants With Wearable Documentation
EU nationals currently living in the UK will require documents confirming their right to remain in the country post-Brexit, the Home Office has announced.
Speaking...
Giuliani wins Black Man of the Year
Raving Republican Trump-nugget and ex New York mayor, Rudy Giuliani, was voted Black Man of the Year today after it turned...
Outrage as American woman forced to wear hijab
Supporters of Donald Trump's travel ban have been outraged by this picture of a white American woman who has been forced to wear a...
RH Exclusive: Excerpt from phone call between Turnbull and Trump
Here at the Rochdale Herald, we’ve managed to get a world exclusive. It’s the leaked transcript of the conversation between President Trump and Prime...
David Duke retracts Trump endorsement saying no room for “locker room banter” in politics
In sensational news today David Duke, the former head of the Ku Klux Klan, has withdrawn his support for Republican Presidential Candidate Donald Trump.
