Donald Trump

White House desperately concealing news of Twitter character increase from Trump

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The twittersphere is in overdrive this morning with millions of users tweeting out their hope that the White House is able to conceal the...
Trump Walking

Trump’s cognitive ability is normal, says White House vet

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WASHINGTON: The actual real-life US President Donald Trump has achieved a normal score on a cognitive exam and is in excellent fettle, although he...

I don’t care what UK Ambassador thinks of me, says dickhead who won’t shut...

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A giant man dayglo baby who won't stop whining about somebody who said some mean things about him has declared on Twitter that he...
Dumpster Fire

Dumpster fires unhappy about comparisons to US Democracy

13
Skip fires around the world have declared they are unhappy with being compared to the US democratic process.
Julian Assange

Julian Assange unveils plans to have quiet weekend in front of the TV

Julian Assange has tonight been giving a speech outlining his plans for the weekend. Mr Assange who, was told today by a Swedish prosecutor that rape...
Donald Genius Trump

The ‘J’ is for Genius, confirms Donald J Trump

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Washington - The actual real life President of the United States of America Donald J Trump has cleared up speculation over the weekend about...
Beekeeper

Beekeeper stung to death after Danish Police force him to remove veil

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Denmark was in shock today after a Danish beekeeper was stung to death in a tragic apiculture accident in Denmark. The news comes just days...

Cheap Nutella latest in long list of things French will riot about

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Sweetened hazelnut cocoa spread joins all the other things the frogs are hopping mad about News broke this week that the French, yes, that lot...

Trump aide sacked after misspelt memo advised him to secure the “rapist vote”

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It emerged that a senior aide has been dismissed after a spelling mistake caused a schism in Presidential campaign.

Trump adds Germany to Travel Ban after hostages taken at Nakatomi Tower

Donald Trump has added the populations of Germany and Austria to his controversial travel ban after hearing reports that terrorists have taken hostages at the Nakatomi Tower in Los Angeles, again.
Ancient text

“The Cheesemakers?”

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Archaeologists near Jerusalem have discovered what is believed to be a missing page from the Old Testament. If genuine it belongs at the beginning of...

Obama calls for ban on rapists and racists from entering public office

In a shock move Barack Obama has called for a total ban on racist narcissists, rapists and tax evaders from entering public office until he can figure out "what the hell is going on."
Corbyn

Corbyn finally condemns Chavez ‘He didn’t shoot enough rich people, happy now?’

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In a statement from the Department of People's Truth, Jeremy Corbyn "has not bowed to pressure of the Western lapdog media but instead led...

Theresa May offers Germany Sunderland

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Theresa May was left visibly irritated this morning when a generous offer to Germany was rejected out of hand. May’s sincere offer, to hand Sunderland over...

Trump travel ban extends to Narnia

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President Donald Trump last night signed an Executive Order adding Narnia to the travel ban and immediately excluding "followers of Aslan" from entering the...
Cave Diver

Rescue divers call off search for viable Customs Union Plan

Rescue divers searching for a viable plan for a customs union palatable to lunatic backbench MPs have finally called off the search. Having plumbed the...

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