South African Scientist Discovers Free Non-Polluting Energy Source

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Imagine the scenario: you are in a pub, when a local starts spouting racist nonsense. You have an overwhelming desire to stand up and...

Trump trumped by top trumpeters

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Six anti-Trump trumpeters who had been tunefully disrupting the presidential candidate on the campaign trail have been silenced - temporarily.  The musicians from the San...
Nuttall

Paul Nuttall admits to FBI he passed US nuclear secrets to Russia

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Paul Nuttall has sensationally admitted to the FBI that he passed US military secrets to Russia. In a statement to the FBI Mr Nuttall admitted delivering...
Nuclear explosion

“We’re looking forward to getting out” say nuclear weapons. 

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Nuclear weapons all over the world are today looking forward to their upcoming launch as an opportunity to stretch their legs.  With launch codes about...
Trump

Donald Trump fails to mention the length of his penis in speech defending western...

9
Donald Trump left an eager crowd shocked in Poland today when he failed to mention the length of his schlong once during a rousing...
Trump Idiotic

Book criticising Trump to be boycotted by people who have never bought a book.

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There is growing support among Republican voters for a nationwide boycott of the book 'Fire and Fury' which contains several damaging claims about President...
Good Friday Agreement

Good Friday Agreement to be replaced by Stupid Friday Agreement

4
The Good Friday agreement of 1998 has been replaced by the Stupid Friday Agreement of 2017. Prime Minister Theresa Mayhem has asked Northern Irish Democratic...
Donald Trump

Worst thing to happen in America today was my hair got wet, Trump tells...

0
The actual real life president of the United States of America told the Future Farmers of America Convention that the worst thing to happen...
Gaza

Israel celebrates Eurovision win by bombing Gaza strip

Israel has celebrated winning the Eurovision song contest with a massive aerial bombardment of the Gaza Strip and shooting dead some Palestinian civilians. Nine Palestinian...

eBay To Close Sundays 

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The world's biggest online auction site has today announced plans to close every Sunday to give all their low paid workers a much needed...
Theresa May

Theresa May admits using ‘BREXOMATHICS’ to calculate number of overstaying foreign students

11
"It's so simple, you take a real number and keep doubling it until everyone's eyes light up," explained May pointing out that it worked...

Spirit of 2016 alive and well after gunman dressed as Santa kills dozens in...

4
2017 is already showing great promise as a dreadful, awful parody of a year following a shootout between police officers possibly disguised as Santa Claus and a gunman disguised as Santa Claus in Turkey.
Beekeeper

Beekeeper stung to death after Danish Police force him to remove veil

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Denmark was in shock today after a Danish beekeeper was stung to death in a tragic apiculture accident in Denmark. The news comes just days...

Trump demands resignation of Dow Jones

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White House sources reveal alleged serial sex offender, proven serial failed businessman and currently failing POTUS Donald J Trump has called for the head...

Rogue State Threatens World Peace By Threatening To Totally Destroy North Korea

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A rogue nation, governed by a lunatic, could be about to start a nuclear war on North Korea. The country, known in its native tongue...
Doctors

Donald Trump Is Disappearing Up His Own Arse

2
American scientists confirmed last night that US President, Donald Trump, is close to completely disappearing up his own arse. Professor Steven Sigmoid...

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