Trump to visit Texas just as soon as the golf courses have been reopened
Donald Trump has announced he intends to visit areas of Texas affected by flooding just as soon as the cleaning operation on Texan golf...
WW3 inevitable as Boris Johnson prank calls Putin and leaves burning bag of dog...
Hetrosexual Russian leader, Vladimir Putin immediately responded by sending a fleet of Grade 50 ballistic war ships to British waters.
He then instructed 4 million...
UKIP corruption proves EU corruption say UKIP
Documents leaked to Sky News showing that, should results be confirmed, UKIP have been misappropriating EU cash prove that the EU is dodgy, claimed...
Angry terrorist given away by distinctive red hat
An angry teenager with the mental age of an eleven year old suspected of international terrorism offences has been arrested because he was wearing...
Americans relieved to learn shooter was atheist
Concerned Americans were today relieved to hear that the Texas shooting was carried out by a human rights supporting atheist.
Initially, US citizens were horrified...
Children excited it’s only three US defence secretaries until Christmas
Children all across America are giddy with excitement that it is now officially only three US defence secretaries until Christmas morning.
The news comes after...
Snap Poll Identifies Lee Harvey Oswald As Most Missed American
A poll conducted worldwide today reveals that over 3.9 billion people named Lee Harvey Oswald as the American they most wish was alive today.
He...
Thanks Mahmut. Inventor of Donner Kebab Dies Aged 87
The man who invented the doner kebab has died. Mahmut Aygun, was suffering from cancer and died in Berlin at the age of 87.
Known as...
US celebrates after number of days so far this year overtakes number of mass...
Americans across America are celebrating the fact that for the first time since the invention of calendars there have been more days in the...
Salisbury poisoning suspect revealed to be elderly arcade owner from Scooby Doo
A man who is suspected of poisoning Sergei Skripal and Yulia Skripal has had his real identity revealed by a group calling itself Mystery...
Trump to remove all right-wing terrorists from FBI watch-list in Operation Anti-Schindler
Donald Trump had been criticised by many for not denouncing the actions of the right-wing protests in Charlottesville. Then he declared there were people...
If everyone had nukes we’d all be safe, says Kim Jong-un
Following the awful Las Vegas massacre, the Great Leader of North Korea has barrelled into the ensuing gun control debate. His message came through...
Putin has confirmed he will run for second term as President of United States
After his self proclaimed "success with that bloated orange puppet" Vladimir Putin has announced that he will seek to control him in a second...
Father Ted to use toy cow to explain perspective to Donald Trump
It’s hoped that repeatedly asking Donald Trump to examine both the toy cow and the cows visible at varying distances outside of the caravan will cause a lightbulb moment in the dark and empty space that serves as a brain for Donald, but no one is getting their hopes up.
Awkward moment for Joseph as Jesus gets Ancestry UK DNA testing kit for Christmas
In what has been described as the most awkward Christmas gift ever; Jesus has been given an Ancestry UK DNA testing kit for Christmas.
One...
Chemical Attack was fake news says Asshat
Bashir Assad has denied an attack on Khan Sheikhoun ever took place.
“The attack was a fiction of the Western press,” said the Syrian leader...
