US Government admits covering up red alert over imminent asteroid impact
Scientists and Government sources have confirmed that the giant asteroid, 2016-FI is on course to strike the Northern Hemisphere after initial uncertainty about it's...
Bill Clinton Finally “Boss of Me” after Hillary Loss
Bill Clinton will finally get to be “the Boss of Me” after Hilary’s stunning loss in the US Presidential Election.
Toymaker confesses he made Melania Trump to keep Pinocchio company
A Tuscan toymaker has ended days of speculation by confessing he made a new female doll to keep his infamous, lying, long nosed boy...
Robert E Lee statue replaced by bronze of obese man in pickup truck holding...
The move comes in order to calm social tensions enraged over the weekend when the savage alt-left attacked a group of peaceful demonstrators merely having a walk with some torches and flags to highlight the importance of freedom of speech.
Julian Assange plans quiet Christmas at home
Julian Assange has confirmed that he will be having a quiet Christmas at home this year.
In a telephone call Mr Assange told us,...
Coal prices spike on news of Katy Hopkins’ incineration
International coal prices have jumped to $120 a tonne, their highest since 2011, following news that a British court has sentenced Daily Mail columnist...
Kremlins useful idiots deny that they’re Kremlins useful idiots
A bunch of useful idiots have denied that they are useful idiots today after a series of e-mails seemed to prove that they were...
Putin joins America in suffering from Trumpgret
Relations between the US and the Russian Federation have deteriorated since Trump became president, says Vladimir Putin.
"Listen, sweetie dahling, I thought rigging the elections...
How about the right not to die at school, ask US school children
In the wake of yet another devastating school shooting on U.S soil, American school goers have stood up to demand an amendment to the...
Syrians praying for UK dog owners tonight
People across Syria are united in prayer tonight as Britain is bombarded with heavy rounds of fireworks, the worst we've seen in weeks.
"It's horrendous"...
Farage Demands Second French Presidential Election
Nigel Farage has claimed the victory of Macron over Le Pen of 65% v 35% is scandalous. Just inappropriate. Undemocratic. Pathetic.
"Fifty two to forty...
Obama rushed to hospital after biting through lip during Trump press conference
President Barack Obama was rushed to hospital yesterday after sustaining injuries during a press conference.
Herald reporter Scott McCracknee was there and describes what happened.
"Mr...
US Military confirm nuclear weapons controlled by simple massive orange knob
Washington - The American military revealed one of its most closely guarded secrets this week.
Donald Trump blames it on the sunshine, the moonlight and the good times
Donald Trump is blaming pretty much everything for his sudden lack of a sex-life, it has emerged.
Sources close to the president have informed the...
Only two FBI directors until Christmas
Christmas is coming, the POTUS is getting fat. Please to put a penny in the old man's retirement fund.
Following the latest Trumptastrophy in Alabama,...
Donald Trump awarded prestigious Time Magazine Dickhead of the Year Award
Donald Trump has been awarded the Time Magazine prestigious Hitler of the Year Award and is said to be "honoured" by the accolade.
