Tony Montana to become new White House communications director
Tony Montana is set to become White House communications director following the sacking of Anthony Scaramucci today.
Mr Montana was last seen toting M16A1 guns...
US Police Departments to consider offering black suspects running start before shooting them
Following several nights of violence and riots across the United States in response to the death of George Floyd US police departments are said...
Harvey Weinstein one step closer to presidency after filing for bankruptcy
The New York studio co-founded by disgraced film producer Harvey Weinstein is to file for bankruptcy, in a move sure to put him a...
‘One is married to Philip’ Queen reminds Public who think Trump too racist for...
Over 1.8 million Britons have signed a petition to deny a State Visit to nylon-haired snake-oil salesman and part-time President, Donald Trump.
The petition insists...
No one expects the Spanish Inquisition, says King Felipe of Spain
During his state visit, the king of Spain addressed the British parliament yesterday. All went well until the king dropped the G-bomb: Gibraltar.
A...
Israel celebrates Eurovision win by bombing Gaza strip
Israel has celebrated winning the Eurovision song contest with a massive aerial bombardment of the Gaza Strip and shooting dead some Palestinian civilians.
Nine Palestinian...
Royal Navy ordered to kill any f*cking Frenchman who so much as looks at...
10 Downing Street has ordered the Royal Navy to kill any f*cking Frenchman who so much as looks at a British fish.
The order has...
US Closes Wardrobe Border Travel Bans on Narnians and Radical Followers of Aslan
President Donald Trump last night signed an Executive Order immediately banning "followers of Aslan" from entering the US.
This will instantly affect talking beavers, centaurs...
British Tomahawks Launched As Part Of U.S. Strike Hit Aledo
It has been revealed that as part of Donald Trump's assault on Syria, two British missiles were launched. These missiles were said to be...
Trump in hiding as NRA call for curb ‘on rapid fire tools’
DONALD TRUMP is believed to be in hiding tonight after the National Rifle Association called for a clamp-down on “rapid fire tools”.
This has been...
Donald Trump to appear on Jeremy Kyle Show
Jeremy Kyle was said to be jubilant this morning after securing an exclusive appearance by Donald Trump.
The show which is titled "Five children by...
Trump asking his people to crack the nuclear codes in case he needs to...
‘I hope POTUS has his best people working on cracking the nuclear codes in case we go to war with that crazy man in Canada.’
What could possibly go wrong, asks West
Western leaders have suggested that nothing could possibly go wrong by attacking Syria and this time will definitely be different to Iraq, Afghanistan and...
Kim Jong Un can’t dance, that brother ain’t got no Seoul
“Kim Jong Un? He can’t dance, that brother ain’t got no Seoul. You know I put the rump into Trump babycakes. When I slut drop you know it’s going to be fire and fury on the dance floor.”
Dumpster fires unhappy about comparisons to US Democracy
Skip fires around the world have declared they are unhappy with being compared to the US democratic process.
EU offers bribe of better UK weather if we remain
The European Union, desperate for the UK to remain, have said that the proposed European Standard Weather system due to come into operation early...
