Shit closer to hitting fan than yesterday
Analysts and experts of faecal matters are saying that the shit, that was yesterday quite close to the fan, is now a bit closer...
Santa to be denied entry to U.K. under proposed points system
Santa is to be denied entry to the UK under the new points based immigration system.
A Home Office spokesman told us, "The system...
Gigantic orange adult toddler in misogyny veteran sacrifice spat
Donald 'The Toddler' Trump was said to be upset this morning after the hashtag DumbDonald began trending on Twitter.
The Toddler is running for the...
Trump Team Dismiss 9 Year-Old ‘Body Swap’ Claims
A spokesperson for Donald Trump has described as “absurd” claims being made by a Wisconsin couple that the President-elect is actually their 9 year-old son.
Mike and...
Spanish Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy wins European Thundercunt of the year award
The Spanish Prime Minister, Mariano Rajoy, was thrilled to learn last night that he has won the coveted European Thundercunt of the Year Award...
Trump appoints David Duke to head Black Lives Don’t Matter initiative
Dr David Duke, former Grand Dragon of the Ku Klux Klan, Senate hopeful and all American Nazi Screwball, has accepted President Elect Donald Trump’s offer of a key advisory role in his new government.
Theresa May offers Germany Sunderland
Theresa May was left visibly irritated this morning when a generous offer to Germany was rejected out of hand.
May’s sincere offer, to hand Sunderland over...
Trump claims their is good people on both sides of grammar nazi debate
President Trump has weighed into the grammer nazi debate by claiming their is good people on both sides.
Discussions and arguments about correct use of...
Despot of country full of gullible starving peasants about to declare war on North...
The bilge tanks of mainstream media are overflowing today with irrepressible joy and mental sewerage at the prospect of wannabe despot Donald Trump declaring...
Director of CIA asks Jason Bourne to drop in on Trump for a ‘quiet...
The Director of The CIA, John O'Brennan, asked Jason Bourne to pop over to Trump Tower.
Following allegations Donald Trump made about the US intelligence...
Mike Pence attends Broadway musical by mistake
Vice-President elect Mike Pence was roundly booed after he attended a performance of Broadway musical ‘Hamilton’ entirely by accident.
Malaysian PM offers Greg Wallace out for a scrap over “crispy” rendang remark
Chef John Torode and "diner" Greg Wallace, presenters of BBC's Masterchef, managed to piss the populations of two countries off this week by criticising...
Burning American flag saved after hero puts out fire using black man
A flag of the United States of America was saved from burning today after a brave patriot quelled the flames using an African American...
Dictator of country full of gullible starving peasants to meet Kim Jong Un
The ludicrous dictator of a crackpot banana republic full of gullible half starved peasants is to meet with the leader of North Korea, it...
World shocked Thailand torturing political prisoners
The world was rocked to the core today after an Amnesty International report revealed that Thailand's military junta, otherwise known as "the government", tortures...
Oh for F**k’s sake – say world leaders following Trump nomination
Leaders around the world let out a simultaneous sigh of despair last night as the Republican Party confirmed Donald Trump's presidential nomination.
In yet another...
