Time Magazine

Trump joins Time Magazine “Person of the Year” club

In a move in keeping with the utter shit show that has been 2016, Time Magazine has named the orange baboon Donald Trump "Person...

Che Guevara’s beret gift from Corbyn confirms Che Guevara’s Dad John McDonnell

John McDonnell has taken to social media today to confirm rumours that Che Guevara's trademark beret was a gift from Jeremy Corbyn.

David Duke retracts Trump endorsement saying no room for “locker room banter” in politics

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In sensational news today David Duke, the former head of the Ku Klux Klan, has withdrawn his support for Republican Presidential Candidate Donald Trump.
Trial by Combat

Theresa May demands Trial by Combat to avoid EU trade negotiations

Theresa May has taken the unusual decision to demand a trial by combat rather than face the EU over the table at trade negotiations.  She...
Woman in curlers

Rochdale Prostitutes Challenge Putin’s Claim ‘Russians are Best’

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Deidre McDearie, voted Rochdale's leading lady of the night eight years' running, has challenged President Putin over his claims that Russia's call girls are...

White House CCTV confirms Obama listening to Trump in Oval Office

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Secret Service agents are reviewing White House CCTV footage this morning which Donald Trump believes show Obama inside the White House. The footage, captured in...

Hartman on Trump – POTUS’s US Marine Corp induction transcript revealed

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Following the sad and untimely death of Gunnery Sergeant Hartman of the US Marine Corps, The Rochdale Herald has obtained an exclusive transcript of...
Melania Trump

Melania did not have sex with horrible old men for money admits Daily Mail

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The Daily Mail have gone on the record today to say that Melania Trump did not and never has had sex with any horrible...

Man-child chickens out of UK visit because people said mean things about him

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Man-child and completely stable genius Donald Trump has reportedly cancelled his planned visit to the UK next month, according to the White House. Trump was...

UKIP corruption proves EU corruption say UKIP

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Documents leaked to Sky News showing that, should results be confirmed, UKIP have been misappropriating EU cash prove that the EU is dodgy, claimed...
Donald Trump

If it wasn’t for these pesky bone spurs I’d have stopped shooter myself, says...

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Actual real-life President of the United States Donald Trump told a press conference earlier today that if it wasn't for the debilitating bone spurs...

Trump insists the audience for his resignation speech will be bigger than Sean Spicers

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Donald Trump has insisted that the audience for Sean Spicers resignation speech will be miniscule compared to his own. Trump tweeted that, "Spicer was a...

William and Kate To Tour North Korea

Prince William and Kate Middleton are to take a break from producing sovereigns for the Royal Mint and tour North Korea. Foreign Secretary Boris...
Protestors

Democratic Democrats protest against anti-democratic democracy

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Protesters smashed windows and turned violent in Oregon and a few other places last night. “Trump is anti-democratic!” yelled the crowd protesting against the man...
Woman who put cat in a wheelie bin

Woman who put cat in wheelie bin appointed goodwill ambassador to World Wildlife Fund

In a controversial move the World Wildlife Fund has appointed that old woman who was filmed putting a cat in a wheelie bin in...

Trump orders 700 billion pieces of LEGO

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The President Elect reportedly ordered a vast amount of the interconnecting bricks earlier today. LEGO CEO, Jørgen Vig Knudstorp, said; "Obviously we are thrilled to...

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