Santa

Scandinavian ‘Too Drunk To Stand’ Following Drunk-Sleighing Arrest

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Rochdale magistrates heard how a visitor from Lapland, Mr Nicholas Saint (1,747) created havoc in Rochdale with his erratic control over his team of excitable reindeer pulling a bright red sleigh.
Missiles flying into sky

Russia to shoot down all planes in Syrian airspace, including their own

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This morning Russia released an announcement stating that any and all aircraft entering Syrian airspace will be immediately shot down without warning.   This, apparently,...

Gun sales rise 300% ahead of Trump Inauguration

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American gun sales have enjoyed a steep rise in the days leading up to the President elect's inauguration. "It's almost 200% more than when Bush...
Tony Montana

Tony Montana to become new White House communications director

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Tony Montana is set to become White House communications director following the sacking of Anthony Scaramucci today. Mr Montana was last seen toting M16A1 guns...

Donald Trump arrested for vandalism after smashing own star

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News broke a short while ago that Donald Trump's celebrity star had been smashed to bits on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. A Mexican man...
Political Prisoners

North Korea accused of human rights abuses after forcing political prisoners to meet Donald...

There was widespread outrage across the international community this morning with Kim Jong Un facing fresh accusations of human rights abuses, torture and human...

For 50p a day you can sponsor an American Border Child

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New Charity is hoping to help the children Donald Trump demanded to be locked up at the US border.  A new charity has been started...
Trump furious to learn Farage isn't 'King of England'

Trump furious to learn Farage isn’t ‘King of England’

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President-elect, Donald Trump, learned that Nigel Farage is not the King of England and that the monarch is in fact a female, on an...
Donald Trump

White House desperately concealing news of Twitter character increase from Trump

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The twittersphere is in overdrive this morning with millions of users tweeting out their hope that the White House is able to conceal the...

Clinton Email Cache Found in Historic Exeter Hotel

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The American election process was thrown into confusion yesterday when the FBI moved into the Royal Clarence Hotel, Exeter, in search of a hidden...

I don’t need no intelligence, I got this far without none says Trump

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Donald Trump confounded satirists again this week after sensationally declaring that he doesn't need intelligence as he has managed to get this far without it.
Donald Genius Trump

Donald Trump shits on White House floor after learning Obama uses toilets

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News is emerging this morning that Donald Trump has started defecating on the floor like a dog after learning that Barack Obama uses toilets. Several...
World surprised to learn that Thailand is torturing pretty much everybody

World shocked Thailand torturing political prisoners

The world was rocked to the core today after an Amnesty International report revealed that Thailand's military junta, otherwise known as "the government", tortures...
Good Friday Agreement

Good Friday Agreement to be replaced by Stupid Friday Agreement

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The Good Friday agreement of 1998 has been replaced by the Stupid Friday Agreement of 2017. Prime Minister Theresa Mayhem has asked Northern Irish Democratic...
Surprised Santa

Santa to be denied entry to U.K. under proposed points system

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Santa is to be denied entry to the UK under the new points based immigration system. A Home Office spokesman told us, "The system...

I don’t care what UK Ambassador thinks of me, says dickhead who won’t shut...

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A giant man dayglo baby who won't stop whining about somebody who said some mean things about him has declared on Twitter that he...

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