Trump asking his people to crack the nuclear codes in case he needs to...

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‘I hope POTUS has his best people working on cracking the nuclear codes in case we go to war with that crazy man in Canada.’

Bellend backs International Women’s Day by stopping sexist jokes for 24 Hours

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A Rochdale man has received praise worldwide for the noble idea of celebrating International Women's Day by boldly telling no sexist jokes for the...

Trump abandons plans to build wall, resolves to plant Leylandii hedge on Mexican border

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Donald Trump has announced that he's no longer going to demand money to build a wall at the border between the United States and...

Theresa May says alcohol and poor judgement to blame for Trump state visit

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Theresa May has been responding to calls to cancel the Trump state visit during a press conference today. Responding to criticism that the invitation for...
Santa

Scandinavian ‘Too Drunk To Stand’ Following Drunk-Sleighing Arrest

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Rochdale magistrates heard how a visitor from Lapland, Mr Nicholas Saint (1,747) created havoc in Rochdale with his erratic control over his team of excitable reindeer pulling a bright red sleigh.

Father Ted to use toy cow to explain perspective to Donald Trump

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It’s hoped that repeatedly asking Donald Trump to examine both the toy cow and the cows visible at varying distances outside of the caravan will cause a lightbulb moment in the dark and empty space that serves as a brain for Donald, but no one is getting their hopes up.

I don’t need no intelligence, I got this far without none says Trump

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Donald Trump confounded satirists again this week after sensationally declaring that he doesn't need intelligence as he has managed to get this far without it.

Trump threatens N. Korea with Fire, Fury, Trouser Snake and six other American Gladiators

Following Kim Jong Il's threat to carry out missile strike on US territory, President Trump counters with threat of onslaught by mid-90s kick-ass TV...

Trump’s travel ban now badge of merit as countries begin adding themselves voluntarily

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President Donald Trump, perhaps the funniest American president since the last republican one, has hailed the success of his travel ban after many countries...
Farage in Russian hat

Kremlins useful idiots deny that they’re Kremlins useful idiots

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A bunch of useful idiots have denied that they are useful idiots today after a series of e-mails seemed to prove that they were...
Donald Trump

Worst thing to happen in America today was my hair got wet, Trump tells...

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The actual real life president of the United States of America told the Future Farmers of America Convention that the worst thing to happen...
Trump

Waxwork of Donald Trump removed from Museum in Bumshart Nebrahoma

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A full size model of Donald Trump used for "selfies" by visitors to a museum has been removed by popular demand. Pictures shared all over...

Outrage as Trump BBQ ruins White House lawn

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White House officials were said to be furious today after Trump supporters burned a cross on the South Lawn last night. The BBQ, which was...

Donald Trump’s staff installs 400 extra red buttons to “delay the inevitable”

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The fate of the billions of people could lie in the hands and minds of these two, often unpredictable leaders, which is a concern for many.

Da Vinci’s ‘My Spunky Pantaloons’ sells for £45m

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A previously unknown Leonardo da Vinci work "My Spunky Pantaloons" has been bought bought by Charles Saatchi for £45m. The jizzy kecks will be...

UKIP corruption proves EU corruption say UKIP

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Documents leaked to Sky News showing that, should results be confirmed, UKIP have been misappropriating EU cash prove that the EU is dodgy, claimed...

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