Angela Merkel to meet Theresa May to tell her to fuck off in person
Following historic meetings with world leaders such as Carwyn Jones and Nicola Sturgeon during her first week as British Prime Minister Theresa is set...
ISIS win the war by leaving passports at home
America, Russia and the United Nations admitted defeat earlier today and proclaimed ISIS the winners of the global holy war.
President elect Trump has already...
Outrage in Rochdale as taxi drivers no longer legally required to speak English
Rochdale residents will have to scrub up their language skills because as of Friday taxi drivers in the city are no longer legally required...
President of The United States looking forward to meeting Donald Trump
Russian officials have confirmed that Vladimir Putin is looking forward to meeting Donald Trump in Helsinki next month.
One told us, "The President is looking...
Bear Cancels Plan To Shit In Woods
Bryan Pickle, an unemployed brown bear, interrupted a meeting at The National History Museum this morning to make a surprise announcement.
"I've been thinking about...
“We’re looking forward to getting out” say nuclear weapons.
Nuclear weapons all over the world are today looking forward to their upcoming launch as an opportunity to stretch their legs.
With launch codes about...
Mayor of New Orleans accidentally summons Donald Trump after saying ‘Hurricane’ five times
Mitch Landrieu, the Mayor of New Orleans has told has told us that he inadvertently summoned Donald Trump to New Orleans.
The Mayor said, "I...
Spain apologises to Catalonia saying I’m sorry you made me hit you
THE SPANISH GOVERNMENT'S representative in Catalonia has, sort of, apologised to those injured by the Iberian Stasi during Sunday's independence referendum.
Enric Millo, playing the...
Daily Mail Editor to pay Melania Trump $150m with no prospect of Happy Ending
The Editor of The Daily Mail was said to be gutted at the prospect of having to pay Melania Trump millions of dollars for...
Virginia to ban books instead of burning them
Parents from the Virginia School District have called for an immediate ban on all novels that contain the n-word.
To Kill a Mockingbird, Of Mice...
Man with record of making unproveable and unsubstantiated claims claims something unproveable and unsubstantiated
Serial unproveable and unsubstantiated claim maker Anthony Gilberthorpe, 54, has come to the defence of serial gropist Donald Trump.
US achieves 100% employment after Twitter forced to fact check Trump tweets
Donald Trump has achieved the biggest turnaround in US unemployment figures ever after Twitter was forced to recruit fact checkers to fact check his...
Is Trump as well hung as May’s Parliament?
Hard on the heels of the revelation that President Donald Trump has fake Time Magazine covers hanging on the walls of his golf course...
May sets UK up for long March to Brexit
Theresa May’s Conservative government have quite literally meddled with time in their pursuit of successfully completing Brexit according to their timetable.
The Conservative party used their parliamentary...
Halloween pumpkin mistaken for President Trump
The embarrassing incident occurred after Ivanka left the pumpkin in the Oval Office. A meeting of President Trump’s closest advisors failed to realise that...
Islamic State recruitment in crisis after Imam reveals martys actually get nineteen 72 year...
Islamic State have revealed they've had to enlist the help of a management consultancy company, Sunni side of the street, following a drop in...
