Toymaker confesses he made Melania Trump to keep Pinocchio company

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A Tuscan toymaker has ended days of speculation by confessing he made a new female doll to keep his infamous, lying, long nosed boy...
Harvey Weinstein

Harvey Weinstein one step closer to presidency after filing for bankruptcy

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The New York studio co-founded by disgraced film producer Harvey Weinstein is to file for bankruptcy, in a move sure to put him a...

Macron makes mince meat of May

Emmanuel Macron has a well deserved reputation as a man who knows what an older lady likes. Now it seems he's out to shag Brexit...
Drone

ISIL in talks with Amazon over drone deliveries deal

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An email has surfaced, from an anonymous source claiming to be from within Amazon, which suggests that the international distribution leviathan is in secret...

Donald Trump tweets that he was going to be asked to marry Harry but...

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Donald Trump has sensationally tweeted that Prince Harry was going to ask him to marry him. POTUS explained on social media yesterday that he...
Farage in Russian hat

Kremlins useful idiots deny that they’re Kremlins useful idiots

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A bunch of useful idiots have denied that they are useful idiots today after a series of e-mails seemed to prove that they were...
Donald Genius Trump

The ‘J’ is for Genius, confirms Donald J Trump

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Washington - The actual real life President of the United States of America Donald J Trump has cleared up speculation over the weekend about...

Russian Government Denies Hacking Rochdale Herald

The Russian Government has reacted angrily towards allegations that it was responsible for hacking UK news site The Rochdale Herald. The Herald, which is...

Trump’s presidency is ‘metaphorical, not literal’, says Spicer

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Following unsubstantiated wiretapping allegations, president Trump’s press secretary, Sean Spicer, has argued that Trump is the metaphorical president and leader of the free world,...

U.S transgender community ‘relieved’ they will not die fighting for Trump

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As President Trump, leader of the free world, announced that transgender citizens would no longer be allowed to serve the U.S. Armed forces in...
Santa

Scandinavian ‘Too Drunk To Stand’ Following Drunk-Sleighing Arrest

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Rochdale magistrates heard how a visitor from Lapland, Mr Nicholas Saint (1,747) created havoc in Rochdale with his erratic control over his team of excitable reindeer pulling a bright red sleigh.

Donald’s diddy digits dodge draft

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As the smokescreen around Donald Trump's draft dodging tactics intensifies The Rochdale Herald has uncovered startling new evidence. The story currently being spun is that...

Climate Change is a hoax insists Texan on a raft

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Despite his trailer having flooded and all his possessions being lost to water damage, defiant Texan, Ray "Buckeye" McCready is travelling around his home state on a makeshift raft to convince others that climate change is a hoax.
Bob Geldof

Sanctimonious tax avoiding ex-pat hands back key to city he doesn’t live in for...

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London-dwelling sanctimonious tax-avoider Bob Geldof has said he will return his Freedom of the City of Dublin. Geldof, a remarkably rich registered non-dom who pays...

Boris meant Saudis are awesome says Defence Secretary Michael Fallon

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Boris Johnson’s words on Saudi Arabia and other Middle East powers were misreported, according to a clearly desperate Defence Secretary Sir Mr Michael of Fallon.

Anyone actively calling for a war to be automatically drafted to the front line

Anybody saying there should be a war may be required to put their money where their mouth is in future.  In a new bid to...

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