Elon Musk offers POTUS a ticket to ride his rocket
Sources close to the White House have revealed that Elon Musk has today offered Donald Trump a ride on the next Falcon Heavy rocket.
The...
Rescue divers call off search for viable Customs Union Plan
Rescue divers searching for a viable plan for a customs union palatable to lunatic backbench MPs have finally called off the search.
Having plumbed the...
Too soon since last mass shooting and not long enough before next one to...
In the wake of the latest mass shooting in a bar in Ohio that has claimed the lives of at least 9 people The White...
Trump credited with restoring American faith in Bush
Donald Trump has been given credit for restoring America's faith in Bush.
One Bush expert told us, "10 years ago American faith in Bush was...
eBay To Close Sundays
The world's biggest online auction site has today announced plans to close every Sunday to give all their low paid workers a much needed...
It’s too soon since last mass shooting and not long enough before next to...
In the wake of the latest mass shooting in a school in Florida that has claimed the lives of at least 14 people The White House...
Ernst Stavro Blofeld a serious contender for Head of FBI
The White House has announced this morning that Blofeld is on the shortlist for the next head of the FBI following Comey's sacking yesterday.
Border Free Travel sounds like a good idea, says Brexit voter who queued four...
A Brexit voter who spent four hours queueing in passport control has suggested that maybe border free travel in Europe is a good thing.
Jo...
Trump furious to learn Farage isn’t ‘King of England’
President-elect, Donald Trump, learned that Nigel Farage is not the King of England and that the monarch is in fact a female, on an...
Julian Assange plans quiet Christmas at home
Julian Assange has confirmed that he will be having a quiet Christmas at home this year.
In a telephone call Mr Assange told us,...
Trump Train derailed by Reddit
Would-be U.S.President and serial bigot, Donald Trump awoke this morning to find his dreams of becoming the most powerful man on the planet in...
Alcoholics Anonymous of America add 13th Step – Don’t Fucking Bother
After 63 years of success Alcoholics Anonymous of America have added a 13th Step to their eponymous programme - Step 13: Don't Fucking Bother.
The...
Nigel farage to accept Russian Government lifetime achievement award in person
Nigel Farage MP (just kidding) is alleged to be thrilled at being awarded the Russian Government's lifetime achievement award.
Zoya Feedosev, Russian envoy to...
Australia in early fireworks embarrassment
We have heard news that fireworks have been sighted a full 12 hours before new year in Syndney Harbour, Australia.
The fireworks that were reported to...
Donald Trump’s penis is largest the world has ever seen says Donald Trump
Donald Trump has asked his propaganda secretary, Sean Spicer, to assure The White House press corps that President Trump's penis is "the largest penis in the history of penises. Period!"
Self-proclaimed ‘bestest dealmaker’ fails to do deal with Bruce Springsteen cover band
Idiots across America who voted for Trump because he told them he was really good at doing deals are surprised by the news he hasn't been able to do a deal with a Bruce Springsteen tribute band.
