President Trump to ‘grab May by the pussy’

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Donald Trump may touch the UK prime minister's vagina in their first private meeting, the president has tweeted. The straw-haired misogynist wrote, "Excited to meet...

Farage takes on Eurovision

In a shock move today, the rubber faced, racist, people's champion Nigel Farage has announced his intentions to represent Great Britain in next year's...

Obama rushed to hospital after biting through lip during Trump press conference

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President Barack Obama was rushed to hospital yesterday after sustaining injuries during a press conference. Herald reporter Scott McCracknee was there and describes what happened. "Mr...

Trump wears tinfoil hat to stop Obama hearing his thoughts…

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President Donald J. Trump has come up with an ingenious solution to prevent Obama from ‘spying on his thoughts’. He now wears a tinfoil...
Scaramucci

Rock Scaramucci crawled out from under refuses to take him back

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Having been unceremoniously sacked as President Trump's director of communications after only ten days and divorced by his wife, Anthony Scaramucci has now suffered...
Trump Idiotic

I thought they would be white, sighs Trump

President Trump incensed at travelling half way round the world to meet hostages that were not even white Donald Trump has spoken today of his...
Trump

Trump restores American faith in Bush

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Donald Trump has today been credited with restoring America's faith in Bush. Dwayne Dwight of Alabama told the Herald "I was big into Bush in...

IOC Vote Against New American Sport in 2020 Olympics

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The USA's hopes to add another pointlessly American sport to the 2020 Olympic have been dashed by the IOC due to concerns over the...

Not enough guns in America according to experts

In the aftermath of the shocking shooting of children and teachers in a Florida High School, Americans have been quick to point out there...

Trump orders 700 billion pieces of LEGO

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The President Elect reportedly ordered a vast amount of the interconnecting bricks earlier today. LEGO CEO, Jørgen Vig Knudstorp, said; "Obviously we are thrilled to...

Area 51 to Close Aliens Expelled – Trump Conversation with Galactic Emperor ‘Worst...

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Donald Trump has ordered the closure of Area 51 and the immediate expulsion of all aliens.  During a turbulent conversation with The Galactic Emperor, which...

Malaysian PM offers Greg Wallace out for a scrap over “crispy” rendang remark

Chef John Torode and "diner" Greg Wallace, presenters of BBC's Masterchef, managed to piss the populations of two countries off this week by criticising...
Trump Supporters

52% Of Trump Supporters Can’t Find America On A Map

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When it was pointed out to them exactly where America lay on the map, many of them seemed disappointed that it wasn’t the whole of North America from Mexico upwards.

The United States to allow Guns to be purchased from Vending Machines

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United States, Washington DC - A new bill has been passed in the United States, to allow firearms to be sold from Vending Machines....

Statue Of Liberty To Be Deported

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America's creepiest uncle, State Department Obergruppenführer Steve 'Steve-O' Bannon confirmed today that steps were being taken to deport 'dangerous subversive' the Statue of Liberty.  "Ms...
trump salute

Donald Trump autobiography ‘My Struggle’ set for December release

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A spokesman for Donald Trump has announced that the eagerly anticipated Trump autobiography is set for release in early December just in time for...

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