Independence Day

Trump leads Independence day celebrations by honouring Goldblum and Smith

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It's the 4th of July national holiday, the anniversary of Independence day in the United States of America. A day when the patriotic celebrate...

Michael Moore to release new ‘Bowling for Bowling Green’ documentary

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The renowned liberal film maker made the announcement on his Facebook page earlier today, stating; "After the huge success of my 2002 film, Bowling for...
White House Nativity

White House Christmas card to feature Donald Trump high-fiving the Ku Klux Klan’s Imperial...

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The White House's official 2017 Christmas card will feature President Donald Trump high-fiving the Imperial Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan, a spokesperson confirmed...
Top Secret

Russian-branded Emperor’s new memo wallets causing security concerns

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Two mysterious Russian stationery salesmen are coming under scrutiny tonight as memo wallets they supplied to government departments may not be all they are...

Your 60 second news round-up

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Here's The Rochdale Herald's round-up of today's important news headlines: - UKIP leader's girlfriend is a nasty little racist - Nicola Sturgeon backs a second Scottish...
Trump

Trump To Build Ladder To The Moon

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President Donald Trump has confirmed that America is to build the world’s first ladder to the Moon. At a White House press conference Trump stated...
Theresa may Trump

Racist right wing nut-job to meet racist right wing nut-job at Downing Street on...

A racist right wing whack-job will meet a racist right wing nut-job when he visits the UK for bilateral talks on July 13th, Downing...
Trump in a barrel

American lawmakers to submerge Donald Trump in barrel of water to see if he...

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It was announced today via The USA news site that Donald Trump will be immersed in a barrel of water to see if he...

If everyone had nukes we’d all be safe, says Kim Jong-un

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Following the awful Las Vegas massacre, the Great Leader of North Korea has barrelled into the ensuing gun control debate. His message came through...
Trump Airplane

Carolinians told to evacuate to avoid category 4 Trump visit

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Residents of the US State of Carolina have been warned to evacuate due to the threat of a category 4 visit from Donald Trump. State Governor,...

Turning Trump off and on again doesn’t seem to have done any good

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The White House Head of IT has expressed his heightened concern that the Presidency could be heading for a critical outage. Head of IT Maurice...

UK “unsafe” says Trump as British Armed Police “Worst in the World”

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Donald Trump has declared Britain "unsafe for US Citizens" as the UK Armed Police have been named the worst in the World on the...

Canada recognises the Alamo as capital of Mexico

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Donald Trump has given a calm and measured response to news that Canada intends to move it's Mexican embassy to the Alamo. Just kidding. Trump...
Tony Montana

Tony Montana to become new White House communications director

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Tony Montana is set to become White House communications director following the sacking of Anthony Scaramucci today. Mr Montana was last seen toting M16A1 guns...

Queen to greet Donald Trump with narwhal tusk

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Buckingham Palace has refused to confirm rumors that the Queen will greet Donald Trump with a narwhal tusk during his visit to the UK...

Tommy Robinson begins campaign to have himself deported from Spain

Tommy Robinson has told the Spanish Government that he should be thrown out of Spain as he's a foreign criminal unable to speak Spanish. A...

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