Trump Walking

Trump to visit Texas just as soon as the golf courses have been reopened

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Donald Trump has announced he intends to visit areas of Texas affected by flooding just as soon as the cleaning operation on Texan golf...
Cyclist in rain

Prize boffin apparently unaware of weather

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The winner of this year's Dyson James Dyson Boffin Admired By Dyson's James Dyson Award, is Isis. No, not the naughty middle eastern twerps, a...

We tried democracy and frankly it’s not for us, Spanish government tells voters

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The Prime Minister of Spain has told voters that democracy isn't for them and it refuses to recognise the result of a referendum on...
Baby

Adolf tops list of most popular baby names for boys in USA in 2017

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For the first time in almost fifty years the name Adolf is topping the lists for most popular baby names in the United States...

Hillary Clinton’s ‘Human Suit’ malfunctions at 911 memorial service

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The Presidential frontrunners cybernetic 'human suit' momentarily glitched at the recent 911 memorial service at ground zero yesterday, the third time this has happened...
Donald Trump

People hoping absolute power will moderate narcissistic bully

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Political analysts are speculating that now Donald Trump is leader of the free world his personality will metamorphose into that of a wise leader...
Donald Trump

Trump attends Paris Armistice commemoration after hearing there is a golf course nearby

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POTATUS has attended an Armistice commemoration in Paris a day after demonstrating the sort of spirit that has earned him the nickname, Cadet Bone...
Royal Navy

Royal Navy ordered to kill any f*cking Frenchman who so much as looks at...

10 Downing Street has ordered the Royal Navy to kill any f*cking Frenchman who so much as looks at a British fish. The order has...

Trump presidency result of Putin prank phone call

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Russian President and superstar house elf, Vladimir Putin, has revealed that the whole Trump/Russia thing is a prank that went too far. "Trump come to...

US WWII veterans arrested after Trump bans anti-fascists

In extraordinary scenes the US Secret Service have rounded up and imprisoned several second world war veterans after Donald Trump announced the banning of...

Kavanaugh to celebrate Supreme Court confirmation with White House keg party

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Newly-appointed Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh will celebrate his confirmation later today by throwing a massive kegger at the White House, sources have confirmed.   Kavanaugh, whose nomination...

Terrorists rejoice at lower energy bills as Jihadis unplug TVs

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Terrorists worldwide are saving money on their energy bills as millions of Jihadis unplug their Samsung smart TVs from mains sockets. The move comes after...
Drinking

Consternation as Britain drops out of top 10 drinking nations

There was consternation last night when it was revealed that the United Kingdom has dropped to 12 in the global drinking league tables. The country has...

Tommy Robinson begins campaign to have himself deported from Spain

Tommy Robinson has told the Spanish Government that he should be thrown out of Spain as he's a foreign criminal unable to speak Spanish. A...
Mel Brooks

Mel Brooks confirms rework of The Producers starring Donald Trump about to climax

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Veteran comic Mel Brooks, 91, has confirmed that his ambitious live action show, The President, will end shortly with a musical impeachment. Speaking at...
France

France admits the French Language was created to avoid speaking to other Countries

It has been rumored for years. Now it is official, France finally stops the lies. Confesses they only created the French language to avoid...

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