Turkey uses remaining irony reserves after vote to abolish democracy
The official Turkish news agency (prop. R. T. Erdogan) reports that in a historic vote on Sunday, the people of Turkey voted overwhelmingly in...
Australian PM Turnbull Reaffirms his Compassionate Commitment to Offshore Detention
Last night’s Four Corners program on asylum seekers held on Nauru, elicited an angry response from the Nauruan government, who accused the ABC of racism.
Britain to join new ‘European Federation’ after Brexit
EXCLUSIVE: With Britain poised to trigger Article 50 and put the wheels irreversibly in motion to finally leave the European Union, a leaked home office...
Australia to import convicts and export coal – Says Turnbull
Australian Prime Minister, Malcolm Turnbull, has left the G20 Summit with what he called a "stupendous new deal". After much grovelling to British Prime...
French Head of Military resigns after Macron cuts £1bn from White Flag Budget
General Pierre de Villiers today sensationally quit as Head of the French Military in a row over cuts to the French White Flag budget.
General...
Trump nothing like Hitler. Hitler wasn’t fat and bald say experts
Historian's have said that Donald Trump is nothing like Hitler as Hitler wasn't fat and bald.
Stan Still said, "A lot of people have been...
“We’re looking forward to getting out” say nuclear weapons.
Nuclear weapons all over the world are today looking forward to their upcoming launch as an opportunity to stretch their legs.
With launch codes about...
Donald Trump to join list of ‘self-aware’ animals after recognising himself in a mirror
US President Donald Trump joined the list of animals capable of self-awareness yesterday, following reports that he may have finally recognised himself in a...
Vladimir Putin Secures Another Term At The White House
Russian President, Vladimir Putin, won a landslide victory in last night's election which securing his place as leader of the USA.
As predicted, Putin secured...
U.S. military buys Viagra after being told troops need to “be hard”
It has emerged this week that the U.S. military spend approximately £63 million annually on the popular medication which aids erectile dysfunction.
This baffling...
Everybody is an expert all of a sudden, complains Norn Iron
Unusual moment of unity sweeps province.
“Yous, yous only gives a shite if it affects yous,” a spokeswoman said today. “Unless something happens on the...
Man with solid gold living room tells government “I don’t pay tax because you...
A man who owns a solid gold living room reportedly told one hundred million of his closest friends that he doesn't pay Tax in...
Macron roasts Le Swan
Emmanuel Macron last night served up a beautifully roasted swan at his victory dinner. The new French President was celebrating his victory with close...
Donald Trump calls for a ban on schools after latest US school shooting
So-called 'President' and full-time Twitter troll Donald Trump wants a 'total and complete shutdown' of schools in the US after the Florida School shooting earlier...
Historians will look back at 2016 as a major catalyst. They won’t remember celebrity...
Whilst you were all distracted with American politics and the ins and outs of Article 50 being triggered, the government has passed the controversial...
Bands line up to celebrate Trump’s impeachment
The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal the star studded line up already in place for celebrating the impeachment of Donald Trump, expected to take...
