Queen to greet Donald Trump with narwhal tusk

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Buckingham Palace has refused to confirm rumors that the Queen will greet Donald Trump with a narwhal tusk during his visit to the UK...
Imortan Joe with Trump's face

Mad Max: Fury Road found to be future documentary sent back as a warning

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"Mad Max:Fury Road" has been found to be a future documentary, sent back as a warning. The documentary, originally titled 'Trump's Legacy' was hastily thrown...

Trump loses grip on reality, demands to be new Dr Who.

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US President Donald Trump has called on the BBC to appoint him as the new Dr Who. In a series of tweets at 3am this...

World shits itself after Putin spotted smiling

Political commentators in Moscow are all-a-chatter today over the unprecedented gossip that Vladimir Putin has been observed smirking slightly.  The current record was set in...
Theresa May

Theresa May’s Rituals

"Theresa May is signalling distress." Dr. Maca Damia comments, viewing photos of the Prime Minister kneeling by the road just inside Wales. "Do you see...

Trump says crying widow knew what she was getting into when she answered phone

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President Donald Trump has responded to criticism that he mishandled a phone call with the grieving widow of an American serviceman killed in an...

Am I Mexican? Ask Trump voters after he says USA will pay for Wall

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The recently announced decision that the wall between Mexico and the USA will be built using American taxpayers money under a piece of legislation...

The United States to allow Guns to be purchased from Vending Machines

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United States, Washington DC - A new bill has been passed in the United States, to allow firearms to be sold from Vending Machines....
Surprised Santa

Santa to be denied entry to U.K. under proposed points system

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Santa is to be denied entry to the UK under the new points based immigration system. A Home Office spokesman told us, "The system...
Trump Bed

Is Trump as well hung as May’s Parliament?

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Hard on the heels of the revelation that President Donald Trump has fake Time Magazine covers hanging on the walls of his golf course...

Sex Workers to sue Daily Mail for comparing them to Melania Trump

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Millions of sex workers are suing right wing rag, The Daily Mail, after they referred to Melania Trump as a "former sex worker" in...
Trump

You had some very fine people on both sides, Trump tells D-Day veterans

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Donald Trump has told D-Day veterans that there were very fine people on both sides of the battles to control the Normandy Beaches during...

Hammond to Create National Hoard

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In advance of Brexit negotiations Phillip Hammond is to bury all of the country's wealth in a hole in the ground. The hole, believed to...
Putin 2

Russian presidential candidates have families safely returned in wake of Putin’s re-election

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The families of all seven Russian Presidential candidates have been returned safely after the totally unexpected landslide victory for Vladimir Putin. Today Vladimir Putin has...
Trump Golf

Scientists confirm Donald Trump’s ego and waistline are inflating at an alarming rate

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Scientists have today confirmed that, President of the United States, Donald Trump is inflating at an alarming rate. On his Inauguration Day on 20th...
Donald Genius Trump

Fat bottomed ape learns to mimic human sounds

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Washington DC - A seventy year primitive primate that can mimic human words such as hello, bigly, braggadocios, and covfefe is thought to be...

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