U.S. prepares for Steve Bannon’s execution
Following an interview in which Steve Bannon compared himself to Tudor-era royal adviser Thomas Cromwell, America is making hasty preparations for the execution of Donald...
Melania did not have sex with horrible old men for money admits Daily Mail
The Daily Mail have gone on the record today to say that Melania Trump did not and never has had sex with any horrible...
Pathetic spoilt lying child learns lying works both ways
A nursery class somewhere in the US was reportedly in turmoil yesterday.
The usual relative calm was shattered by a screaming blubber-baby having a foot...
Turkey uses remaining irony reserves after vote to abolish democracy
The official Turkish news agency (prop. R. T. Erdogan) reports that in a historic vote on Sunday, the people of Turkey voted overwhelmingly in...
Palestinians Recognise Scunthorpe as Capital of US, Answering Question ‘Who put the ‘Trump’ in...
Following the United States decision to recognise Jerusalem as the capital of Israel, the Palestinian authorities have entered into the spirit of things and...
Vladimir Putin wins Great Russian Bake-off after other contestants fall ill
Vladimir Putin has won the Russian version of Celebrity Great British Bake-off after all the other contestants sadly died in tragic but mysterious circumstances.
Mr...
Light spectroscopy confirms Trump wears a toupee and it’s 70% alpaca
Donald Trump's hair is partly fake, and the fake part is not even human hair, but alpaca, scientists working for NASA's Astronomical spectroscopy division...
Trump discovers one weird trick to increasing attendance at his rallies
The White House has confirmed that Donald Trump has found a weird trick to increasing attendance at his rallies.
During a speech given to Texas...
Atos and DWP pronounce Trump unfit for work
A physical and mental health Atos assessment on US President, Donald J Trump, has conclusively found that he is unfit for work, the DWP...
Donald Trump hospitalised with self-inflicted gunshot wound
Reports are coming in that Donald Trump has been hospitalised with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the foot.
Donald Trump to lift Muslim ban ‘with immediate effect’ after learning of Manchester protests
The new President's controversial Muslim ban has caused outrage across the globe and chaos in airports all across the US.
Last night thousands of protesters...
Britain plans Brexit trade deal ‘perverts for peace’
Following the embarrassment of the spectacular failure of a hideously expensive program to rehabilitate sex offenders, Ministry of Justice officials are arranging study visits...
Israel celebrates Eurovision win by bombing Gaza strip
Israel has celebrated winning the Eurovision song contest with a massive aerial bombardment of the Gaza Strip and shooting dead some Palestinian civilians.
Nine Palestinian...
Australia’s Immigration Minister calls for tougher toughness
Peter Dutton, Australia’s Immigration Minister, launched a scathing attack on Australia’s business leaders following their public support for the legalisation of gay marriage.
Heads of...
People hoping absolute power will moderate narcissistic bully
Political analysts are speculating that now Donald Trump is leader of the free world his personality will metamorphose into that of a wise leader...
Hurricane Harvey considered least destructive 2020 presidential candidate
In an attempt to win back votes from the orange-painted tweeting shitangutan, the Democrats have turned to Hurricane Harvey to stand as their candidate...
