Nuclear Bomb

Only a good guy with a nuclear weapon can stop a bad guy with...

The only way to stop a bad guy with a nuclear weapon is a good guy with a nuclear weapon. That's according to the...

British Tomahawks Launched As Part Of U.S. Strike Hit Aledo

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It has been revealed that as part of Donald Trump's assault on Syria, two British missiles were launched. These missiles were said to be...

Trump All Mexicans To Do Pinata National Service

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US President Donald Trump has signed an Executive Order forcing all US Mexican citizens to be Piñata at white children's Birthday Parties. The "Piñata National...
Macron

Macron roasts Le Swan

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Emmanuel Macron last night served up a beautifully roasted swan at his victory dinner. The new French President was celebrating his victory with close...

Intrepid British journalists discover tribe of foreigners who don’t let each other die in...

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The British media world was stunned today by the discovery of a tribe of non-British humans who actually attempt to save each other after...
Duke Brothers

Trump Presidency revealed as elaborate Duke Brothers $1 bet

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Reclusive Wall Street tycoons the Duke Brothers have been at it again, this time betting against US Democracy.
Trump Baby

Trump eats baby in front of mother during rally

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Donald Trump hit a new low today by disembowelling a newborn baby and eating her still beating heart like an apple after she interrupted...
Westboro Baptist Church

Westboro Baptist Churchgoers saddened by news that God actually hates FAQ’s

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Congregation of famously homophobic church disheartened to learn that The Almighty is 'proper hacked off with being asked the same dumb shit over and...
Playboy Mansion

RSPCA desperately seeking forever homes for 45 bunnies rescued from ‘Bunny Farm’ in California

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A RSPCA spokesman in Nantwich is urgently looking for 45 'new residents rescued from what he described as 'the biggest bunny farm they had...

President Trump’s half-brother assassinated in Kuala Lumpur

In a shocking announcement from Malayasia, official sources have revealed that President Donald Trump's half-brother has been assassinated at Kuala Lumpur Airport. According to local TV reports, Mr...

Oscar winning director Jonathan Demme dies aged 73

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Oscar winning director Jonathan Demme has died aged 73. Filmmaker Jonathan Demme, whose Oscar-winning thriller "The Silence of the Lambs" terrified audiences and introduced...

Trump aide sacked after misspelt memo advised him to secure the “rapist vote”

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It emerged that a senior aide has been dismissed after a spelling mistake caused a schism in Presidential campaign.

Boris meant Saudis are awesome says Defence Secretary Michael Fallon

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Boris Johnson’s words on Saudi Arabia and other Middle East powers were misreported, according to a clearly desperate Defence Secretary Sir Mr Michael of Fallon.

White House confirms all its press staff do coke

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The White House has admitted today that all its press staff do coke. The admission comes after the latest mouthpiece for President Trump, Mr Scaramucci,...

Trump marks 50 years since Abraham Lincoln walked on Mars

Donald Trump has today given a speech suggesting that it's the 50th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln walking on Mars. A spokesman for POTATUS said,...

Statue Of Liberty To Be Deported

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America's creepiest uncle, State Department Obergruppenführer Steve 'Steve-O' Bannon confirmed today that steps were being taken to deport 'dangerous subversive' the Statue of Liberty.  "Ms...

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