Sergei Lavrov

Kremlin accuse American spooks of lying to Trump

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The Kremlin has accused America's security services of treasonous behaviour after Lavrov's love in with Trump. A spokesman for the Kremlin released the following warning to...

Britain to join new ‘European Federation’ after Brexit

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EXCLUSIVE: With Britain poised to trigger Article 50 and put the wheels irreversibly in motion to finally leave the European Union, a leaked home office...

Black people in England 8.2 times more likely to accidentally run into police truncheons...

Priti Patel today confirmed that the Black Lives Matter movement is a protest about American racism that has nothing to do with England.  The...

Trump presidency result of Putin prank phone call

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Russian President and superstar house elf, Vladimir Putin, has revealed that the whole Trump/Russia thing is a prank that went too far. "Trump come to...
Russophobia

Russia accuse Boris of hysterical Russophobia

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Russia has responded to Boris Johnson's accusations of war crimes by counter-accusing the British government and Boris in particular of 'Russophobia.' Despite what one may...
Good Friday Agreement

Good Friday Agreement to be replaced by Stupid Friday Agreement

4
The Good Friday agreement of 1998 has been replaced by the Stupid Friday Agreement of 2017. Prime Minister Theresa Mayhem has asked Northern Irish Democratic...
Man with shocked face

Trump appoints David Duke to head Black Lives Don’t Matter initiative

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Dr David Duke, former Grand Dragon of the Ku Klux Klan, Senate hopeful and all American Nazi Screwball, has accepted President Elect Donald Trump’s offer of a key advisory role in his new government.
Gun old lady

Why does this keep happening, ask imbeciles who keep selling guns to people who...

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Fuckwits in America who keep blocking gun control reform have been forced to once again ask the question "why do mass shootings happen over...
Obama and Biden

Obama and Biden spend last afternoon playing ‘hide the turd’ at White House

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Outgoing President and his VP Joe Biden have spent their last afternoon in office playing 'hide the turd' in The White House.
Trump

Trump ecstatic at 99% approval rating from alt-right protesters

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Speaking about the rally on Saturday Trump is alleged to have said, "There sure was a lot of people there. The press will say it was about 200 people. It looked about 45,000. That set a record. They all set a record. Obama never got that many alt-right supporters. They came because of me and I'm proud of that. It's my greatest achievement as President so far."
Beynonce Knowles

We need buoyancy aids not Beyonce aid, say Houston flood victims

2
Residents of Houston were bemused by an offer from pop star Beyonce offering help for those affected by the recent flooding. “We asked for buoyancy...
Donald Trump

Trump says he believes Melania’s explanation that she didn’t only marry him for his...

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Donald Trump has said that he believes that Melania Trump married him for his rugged good looks, sublime conversation and attentive tenderness as a...

White House confirms all its press staff do coke

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The White House has admitted today that all its press staff do coke. The admission comes after the latest mouthpiece for President Trump, Mr Scaramucci,...
Toxic Sign

Trump gives a shot in the arm to 2020 Darwin Awards

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President Donald Trump has thrown an unexpected and much appreciated lifeline to the 2020 Darwin Awards. The well-known website which describes itself as  a "salute...

OJ Simpson appointed White House press secretary

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Tongues are wagging in Washington today over what seems too convenient for coincidence as OJ Simpson is rumoured about to be appointed as Sean...
Donald Trump female

Mayor of New Orleans accidentally summons Donald Trump after saying ‘Hurricane’ five times

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Mitch Landrieu, the Mayor of New Orleans has told has told us that he inadvertently summoned Donald Trump to New Orleans. The Mayor said, "I...

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