Man holding a gun

America in shock after a live streamed dispute is resolved without a single shot...

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Americans were rocked to the core today to find that it was possible to resolve a dispute without gunfire. Chuck Henderson, a 7-Eleven employee from...

Obama speech on Trump: untwist your knickers, it’ll be alright

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Soon to be former-president, Barrack "Bazzer" Obama has said that nobody ever said that democracy was supposed to be easy and "it's harder than...
Shit Hair Magazine

Trump Named Person of the Year by Shit Hair Magazine

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In an unpresidented turn of events, one of Donald Trump's tweets was proven to be correct today after Shit Hair Magazine declared him person...

I’m nothing like Steve Bannon – says Darth Vader

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Darth Vader took to Twitter today to distance himself from "that evil bastard" Steve Bannon after Bannon compared himself to Darth Vader, Thomas Cromwell, Dick Cheney and Satan.
Doctors

Donald Trump Is Disappearing Up His Own Arse

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American scientists confirmed last night that US President, Donald Trump, is close to completely disappearing up his own arse. Professor Steven Sigmoid...

Putin admits attack on Skripal start of ‘War on Dubstep’

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After repeated denials of involvement in the Skripal affair, Vladimir Putin has finally been moved to admit it was a deliberate attack. Putin...

I wouldn’t rape a fat woman, I have standards – says Trump

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Thousands of Republican voters suffered serious head injuries yesterday after face palming themselves really hard during a Trump Rally.

Gun sales rise 300% ahead of Trump Inauguration

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American gun sales have enjoyed a steep rise in the days leading up to the President elect's inauguration. "It's almost 200% more than when Bush...
Chernobyl

Chernobyl rejects proposal to twin towns with Rochdale

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The Ukrainian town of Chernobyl has rejected a proposal to twin with Rochdale, a spokesman for Rochdale council confirmed to the Herald. The town...

Italians face criticism over construction. 

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The Italian government had come under severe criticism today for the standards of its building construction in the 1600's. This comes in the wake...

Barack Obama to narrate Audible version of Fire and Fury

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Barack Obama is to narrate the Audible version of US best-selling book, Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House. It's alleged that Mr Obama...
Trump

Trump is said to be fuhrerious over comparisons with Adolf Hitler

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Today the Trump Administration has struck back over comments alluding to Donald Trump resembling something of a 21st Century Hitler. There has been outrage...
Scunthorpe

Palestinians Recognise Scunthorpe as Capital of US, Answering Question ‘Who put the ‘Trump’ in...

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Following the United States decision to recognise Jerusalem as the capital of Israel, the Palestinian authorities have entered into the spirit of things and...
ISIS

Isis Claims Responsibility for Education Fair Funding Formula Terror

In a shock announcement this morning, that surprised no one, a spokes-stool for Isis (other names are available) claimed credit for the proposed funding...

Absolute arsehole Winnie Mandela dies aged 81

An absolute arsehole has died in South Africa aged 81.

EU designates British cockwombles “endangered species”

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Indigenous British cockwombles have been given official European Union "endangered species" designation as their numbers have plummeted due to loss of habitat to invasive...

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