Peter Capaldi AKA The Doctor has expressed an interest in becoming the French President at the next election. The current Timelord who is also famous for playing the sweary Malcolm Tucker in the hit BBC series The Thick of It, a program later emulated by The Conservative Party, said”

“I’m thrilled at the possibility of becoming the head honcho in one of the most historically incredible countries in the west”. 

But critics of tiny the Glaswegian say that being in the blue box has gone to his head. “Is he for f***ing real?” Snapped SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon. “The only port that c*** has ever looked after is in a bottle on his f***ing desk”.

The shock announcement has left most media outlets baffled, so much so that they’re reporting that Nicholas Sarcozy is re-running instead, an understandable mistake considering the pint sized pair are practically idententical right down the platform shoes. 

The current French President François Hollande refused to comment.