There was outrage in the editorial bunker at The Rochdale Herald after one of the editorial team accidentally read an article in the Telegraph.

“It was fucking terrible, they really are dickheads. They pretend they’re a broadsheet but they have less editorial integrity than Sputnik News, Breitbart and The Daily Star.” Douglas the intern told us;

“The article had this headline suggesting that Britain is going to set up an office in the Calais Jungle Refugee camp to speed up asylum requests. It turns out it was just something some French bloke said, it wasn’t quite completely made up to cause a little bit of outrage but it was pretty close.”

It turns out that a Frenchman suggested that Britain might want to look into ways of speeding up the asylum process for refugees who are not only fleeing war and oppression in their countries of origin but also France.

France is a country with a long history of allowing other countries to establish offices in their country to take over administration of their affairs. The British, Austrians and Russians had a go in 1815 and the Germans did it twice in the last century in 1914 and 1939. The Americans were pretty much in charge from 1945 till 2006. 

They quite like devolving responsibility when it comes to tackling difficult issues such as marauding armies, their pension deficit, their economy, sunbathing women and human rights. They are quite good at making cheese though.

So no, shamefully nobody is setting up an office in Calais to help vulnerable displaced children. Maybe that should have been the headline…