Trump orders 700 billion pieces of LEGO
The President Elect reportedly ordered a vast amount of the interconnecting bricks earlier today.
LEGO CEO, Jørgen Vig Knudstorp, said; "Obviously we are thrilled to...
Australian Government launches plan to solve poverty by fining poor people
It has been revealed that secret meetings between the Prime Minister’s office and the Australian Federal Police has culminated in Operation Integrity, a scheme designed to push as many welfare recipients as possible, over the edge.
May to appeal to Supreme Court ruling at European Court of Justice
In a move that has thoroughly confused political observers, Theresa May has instructed the Attorney General to appeal today's Supreme Court judgement on Article...
Kim and Kanye arrive at White House to plead for Melania’s freedom
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are reported to be heading to the White House in order to plead for Melania Trump's freedom.
A press officer...
Ireland elects first openly sober prime minister
Leo Varadkar made history yesterday by winning the leadership election of the Fine Gael Party to become the first openly sober Taoiseach (Prime Minister) in Irish history.
Turkey uses remaining irony reserves after vote to abolish democracy
The official Turkish news agency (prop. R. T. Erdogan) reports that in a historic vote on Sunday, the people of Turkey voted overwhelmingly in...
IRS look forward to “getting to the bottom” of Trump’s Federal Income Tax “I’m...
Surgical glove manufacturer Sphinctoraw Inc got a surprise order for 110,000 pairs of elbow length surgical gloves from the IRS.
The order was placed...
Donald Trump to join list of ‘self-aware’ animals after recognising himself in a mirror
US President Donald Trump joined the list of animals capable of self-awareness yesterday, following reports that he may have finally recognised himself in a...
Mexico Offers to Purchase Channel Tunnel Following Brexit
A Mexican conglomerate has offered to purchase the Channel Tunnel when Britain formally leaves the European Union.
Juan Tunnelsunda, CEO of Tunnels 2 US, a...
Good Friday Agreement to be replaced by Stupid Friday Agreement
The Good Friday agreement of 1998 has been replaced by the Stupid Friday Agreement of 2017.
Prime Minister Theresa Mayhem has asked Northern Irish Democratic...
Netanyahu Furious After Trump Scores Israel Lower Than Saudi Arabia In TripAdvisor Review
Prime Minister Netanyahu demanded an apology from the White House today. The
move came after Donald Trump scored his Israeli short stay lower than Saudi
Arabia...
China refuses to sign for North Korea’s Amazon deliveries as part of far reaching...
In a move that is likely to further raise tensions on the Korean Peninsula, China has announced that it will no longer sign for North Korea's Amazon deliveries.
The...
Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump to measure micro-willies at summit
Thin-skinned, narcissistic, alternative-reality dwelling clown Donald Trump and "Nuclear" lunatic Kim-Jong Un are to make history by meeting later in the year to engage...
Nuclear Football replaced with state of the art 1979 Speak and Spell
The Secret Service and senior members of the National Security Council have taken drastic steps to toughen US Nuclear launch protocols during Donald Trump's presidency by replacing the Nuclear Football with 1979 Speak and Spell.
Top Vatican paedophiles and the Pope claim Transgender people are ‘crime against God’
Frock wearing top Catholic wizard Pope Francis has decided that transgender people are a crime against God.
"They teach children -children!- that they can choose...
Trump hails Polish culture saying “Pole dancers are the best, I’m a huge fan,...
US President Donald Trump Thursday attempted to cement US-Polish relations in a speech delivered in the Polish capital Warsaw on the first day of...
