A group of alleged Russian spies who were apprehended in Holland have said they were there learning to ski on the world famous Dutch ski slopes.
In an interview on Russia today one said, “We were there visiting the world famous Van Goot skiing school. We planned to hire ski equipment and go skiing on the Dutch mountains. Our friends had said it was really beautiful.”
The alleged spies said that they weren’t spies at all but were in fact a group of Russian aerobics instructors. Police became suspicious when they revealed they had travelled to Holland to visit the art galleries.
They said that after landing they were apprehended and treated like criminals by the police who told them that their complete lack of any skiing gear or any luggage, them carrying loads of cash and one of the party travelling with fake passports and a dummies guide to hacking was evidence that proved their presence wasn’t related to skiing.
This evidence has been seized on by conspiracy theorists who believe the news is an attempt, by the Government, to deflect attention away from the McDonalds strike in Hounslow. One, Bill Board said, “This is clearly being orchestrated to stop us talking about how the Government have personally gassed 50000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
disabled people this week.”
However, their theory was rebuffed by Vladimir Putin. Mr Putin responded by going on TV channel Rossiya and saying, “Look, I ordered all this. The evidence is clear. WTF do I have to do to prove to you people it was me?”
Mr Putin then produced a photo of the Russian spies doing some spying. This was met with derision by the conspiracy theorists who said that it was clearly photo shopped and Vladimir Putin is obviously a crisis actor.