Middle-East

• Mullets are illegal in Iran • In 2007, Iran arrested 14 squirrels for spying • 70% of Iran’s science and engineering students are not men, but women • Most of the Islamic world mourned and condemned the 9-11 attacks, including Turkey half-masting all flags and Iran holding candlelight vigils • As a man, you can be arrested in Iran for wearing shorts • Iran tried to get into the Guinness book of Records in 2008 by making the world’s largest sandwich, but people started eating it before it could be officially measured so they failed •

ISIS claim responsibility for self-service checkouts

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So called 'Islamic State'  have claimed responsibility for supermarket self service checkouts. A statement released by ISIS said they came up with the idea after...

Picture yourself in their shoes

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A picture of Omran Daqneesh, the five year old boy who was pulled from the rubble that used to be his home in Aleppo,...
Justice

Britain plans Brexit trade deal ‘perverts for peace’

Following the embarrassment of the spectacular failure of a hideously expensive program to rehabilitate sex offenders, Ministry of Justice officials are arranging study visits...

Saudi woman celebrates being able to drive to friends stoning

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A Saudi woman has been telling the Rochdale Herald how she's looking forward to being allowed to drive to the stoning of a woman...

Chemical Attack was fake news says Asshat

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Bashir Assad has denied an attack on Khan Sheikhoun ever took place. “The attack was a fiction of the Western press,” said the Syrian leader...

People of Aleppo not quite white enough

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European leaders have come together to stress how upset they are that the people of Aleppo have ever so slightly funny coloured skin and...
Arab men laughing

Historic ruling means Saudi men finally allowed to make women driver jokes

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Equality campaigners were today celebrating as Saudi Arabia made a long-overdue change to its oppressive rules which prevent men from making jokes about women's...

ISIS Propose Christmas Cease-Fire Kickabout

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ISIS troops fighting around the city of Palmyra have suggested that hostilities be put aside for a few hours at Christmas for an informal game of football with opposing ground forces.

Missile strike in Syria; mass outpouring of grief from OneDirection fans

Following the disastrous US missile strike in Syria yesterday which claimed the lives of 57 civilians including 11 children, teenagers and young adults around...

The only chemicals you can kills kids with are high explosives and white phosphorus,...

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Following the outcry over the alleged chemical weapons attacks in Syria, the Pentagon have confirmed that the only legal chemicals you can use to...

Terrorists rejoice at lower energy bills as Jihadis unplug TVs

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Terrorists worldwide are saving money on their energy bills as millions of Jihadis unplug their Samsung smart TVs from mains sockets. The move comes after...
Missiles flying into sky

Russia to shoot down all planes in Syrian airspace, including their own

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This morning Russia released an announcement stating that any and all aircraft entering Syrian airspace will be immediately shot down without warning.   This, apparently,...

Boris meant Saudis are awesome says Defence Secretary Michael Fallon

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Boris Johnson’s words on Saudi Arabia and other Middle East powers were misreported, according to a clearly desperate Defence Secretary Sir Mr Michael of Fallon.
angry old woman

Islamic State recruitment in crisis after Imam reveals martys actually get nineteen 72 year...

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Islamic State have revealed they've had to enlist the help of a management consultancy company, Sunni side of the street, following a drop in...
Toffee pennies

Campaign to send 58 million toffee pennies to Syria

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Overseas aid charity, Feed the World, has launched a campaign to collect everyone's unwanted Christmas 'treats' and send them to Syria and other war-torn...
Man laughing

Comedians Safe To Call Erdogan A Farthead

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Comedians and satirists heaved a sigh of relief today as the prosecution of German comic Jan Böhmermann bubble Erdogan was dropped. "Finally! Finally! Finally!" said...

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