Middle-East

• Mullets are illegal in Iran • In 2007, Iran arrested 14 squirrels for spying • 70% of Iran’s science and engineering students are not men, but women • Most of the Islamic world mourned and condemned the 9-11 attacks, including Turkey half-masting all flags and Iran holding candlelight vigils • As a man, you can be arrested in Iran for wearing shorts • Iran tried to get into the Guinness book of Records in 2008 by making the world’s largest sandwich, but people started eating it before it could be officially measured so they failed •

Justice

Britain plans Brexit trade deal ‘perverts for peace’

Following the embarrassment of the spectacular failure of a hideously expensive program to rehabilitate sex offenders, Ministry of Justice officials are arranging study visits...

Christmas moved to November 12th

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Theresa May's government yesterday announced plans to move Christmas forward this year to November the 12th, just in case we don't all reach December. The...

Picture yourself in their shoes

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A picture of Omran Daqneesh, the five year old boy who was pulled from the rubble that used to be his home in Aleppo,...

Abu Hamza to be welcomed back to the UK with State Visit

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Hate preacher Abu Hamza has been invited to a State Visit after Number 10 revealed that they are widening the scope of the unsavoury...

Mary and Joseph arrested for health tourism

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Reports are reaching us that 2 people have been arrested in Judah on suspicion of being healthcare tourists. The pair say they are parents...

ISIS Propose Christmas Cease-Fire Kickabout

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ISIS troops fighting around the city of Palmyra have suggested that hostilities be put aside for a few hours at Christmas for an informal game of football with opposing ground forces.
angry old woman

Islamic State recruitment in crisis after Imam reveals martys actually get nineteen 72 year...

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Islamic State have revealed they've had to enlist the help of a management consultancy company, Sunni side of the street, following a drop in...
face palm

Turkey uses remaining irony reserves after vote to abolish democracy

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The official Turkish news agency (prop. R. T. Erdogan) reports that in a historic vote on Sunday, the people of Turkey voted overwhelmingly in...

Missile strike in Syria; mass outpouring of grief from OneDirection fans

Following the disastrous US missile strike in Syria yesterday which claimed the lives of 57 civilians including 11 children, teenagers and young adults around...
Toffee pennies

Campaign to send 58 million toffee pennies to Syria

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Overseas aid charity, Feed the World, has launched a campaign to collect everyone's unwanted Christmas 'treats' and send them to Syria and other war-torn...
Blair Middle East Refugees

The Middle East starts packing as Blair hints at return to politics

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The Oxford English definition of irony, former Middle East Peace Envoy, Tony Blair, suggested a political return may be on the cards in a...

People of Aleppo not quite white enough

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European leaders have come together to stress how upset they are that the people of Aleppo have ever so slightly funny coloured skin and...

Trump disappointed Agrabah is nothing like it is in the movie

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The POTUS sent a series of Tweets earlier about his visit to Saudi Arabia, after securing a $110 billion arms deal. The leader of the notoriously...

The only chemicals you can kills kids with are high explosives and white phosphorus,...

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Following the outcry over the alleged chemical weapons attacks in Syria, the Pentagon have confirmed that the only legal chemicals you can use to...

Mary forced to give birth on stable floor after health insurance refuses to cover...

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A woman that claims she's about to give birth to the son of God has told the Herald, about how she is being forced...

ISIS claim responsibility for Windows 10 update

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ISIS have released a statement taking responsibility for the latest Windows 10 update. The religious group released a statement today saying, "The recent major update of...

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