Middle-East

• Mullets are illegal in Iran • In 2007, Iran arrested 14 squirrels for spying • 70% of Iran’s science and engineering students are not men, but women • Most of the Islamic world mourned and condemned the 9-11 attacks, including Turkey half-masting all flags and Iran holding candlelight vigils • As a man, you can be arrested in Iran for wearing shorts • Iran tried to get into the Guinness book of Records in 2008 by making the world’s largest sandwich, but people started eating it before it could be officially measured so they failed •

Man laughing

Comedians Safe To Call Erdogan A Farthead

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Comedians and satirists heaved a sigh of relief today as the prosecution of German comic Jan Böhmermann bubble Erdogan was dropped. "Finally! Finally! Finally!" said...

Spirit of 2016 alive and well after gunman dressed as Santa kills dozens in...

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2017 is already showing great promise as a dreadful, awful parody of a year following a shootout between police officers possibly disguised as Santa Claus and a gunman disguised as Santa Claus in Turkey.
Arab men laughing

Historic ruling means Saudi men finally allowed to make women driver jokes

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Equality campaigners were today celebrating as Saudi Arabia made a long-overdue change to its oppressive rules which prevent men from making jokes about women's...
Dominic Raab

Dominic Raab announces sanctions on Isle of Aran

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Foreign Secretary, Dominic Raab has announced sanctions on the Isle of Aran. Mr Raaab announced the sanctions during a visit to Blackpool Tower in...

Chilcot stuns world with news that Pope is catholic

Sir John Chilcot has stunned the world by stating again that the Pope is catholic and so it seems is Britain's greatest wartime leader...

Gassing orphans is wrong says woman who prefers to starve them

Theresa May's regime has roundly condemned the Assad Regime's actions in Syria by saying it was wrong to use Sarin Gas on orphaned children. "It...
Kardashian

Aleppo Children launch crowdfunding campaign to replace Kim Kardashian jewellery

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Children in Aleppo have called for an official Day of Mourning as they grieve in solidarity with the Kardashian family for the loss of...
Justice

Britain plans Brexit trade deal ‘perverts for peace’

Following the embarrassment of the spectacular failure of a hideously expensive program to rehabilitate sex offenders, Ministry of Justice officials are arranging study visits...

Christmas moved to November 12th

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Theresa May's government yesterday announced plans to move Christmas forward this year to November the 12th, just in case we don't all reach December. The...

The only chemicals you can kills kids with are high explosives and white phosphorus,...

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Following the outcry over the alleged chemical weapons attacks in Syria, the Pentagon have confirmed that the only legal chemicals you can use to...
face palm

Turkey uses remaining irony reserves after vote to abolish democracy

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The official Turkish news agency (prop. R. T. Erdogan) reports that in a historic vote on Sunday, the people of Turkey voted overwhelmingly in...

Mary and Joseph arrested for health tourism

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Reports are reaching us that 2 people have been arrested in Judah on suspicion of being healthcare tourists. The pair say they are parents...

Mary forced to give birth on stable floor after health insurance refuses to cover...

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A woman that claims she's about to give birth to the son of God has told the Herald, about how she is being forced...

ISIS withdraw from Iraq after Blair’s return to politics announcement

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Tony Blair yesterday announced that he intended to fill a massive hole and that after that he'd return to British politics. In an interview he...

Chemical Attack was fake news says Asshat

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Bashir Assad has denied an attack on Khan Sheikhoun ever took place. “The attack was a fiction of the Western press,” said the Syrian leader...

Picture yourself in their shoes

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A picture of Omran Daqneesh, the five year old boy who was pulled from the rubble that used to be his home in Aleppo,...

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