Middle-East

• Mullets are illegal in Iran • In 2007, Iran arrested 14 squirrels for spying • 70% of Iran’s science and engineering students are not men, but women • Most of the Islamic world mourned and condemned the 9-11 attacks, including Turkey half-masting all flags and Iran holding candlelight vigils • As a man, you can be arrested in Iran for wearing shorts • Iran tried to get into the Guinness book of Records in 2008 by making the world’s largest sandwich, but people started eating it before it could be officially measured so they failed •

angry old woman

Islamic State recruitment in crisis after Imam reveals martys actually get nineteen 72 year...

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Islamic State have revealed they've had to enlist the help of a management consultancy company, Sunni side of the street, following a drop in...

Chemical Attack was fake news says Asshat

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Bashir Assad has denied an attack on Khan Sheikhoun ever took place. “The attack was a fiction of the Western press,” said the Syrian leader...
Toffee pennies

Campaign to send 58 million toffee pennies to Syria

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Overseas aid charity, Feed the World, has launched a campaign to collect everyone's unwanted Christmas 'treats' and send them to Syria and other war-torn...
Kardashian

Aleppo Children launch crowdfunding campaign to replace Kim Kardashian jewellery

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Children in Aleppo have called for an official Day of Mourning as they grieve in solidarity with the Kardashian family for the loss of...

ISIS Propose Christmas Cease-Fire Kickabout

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ISIS troops fighting around the city of Palmyra have suggested that hostilities be put aside for a few hours at Christmas for an informal game of football with opposing ground forces.

Awkward moment for Joseph as Jesus gets Ancestry UK DNA testing kit for Christmas

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In what has been described as the most awkward Christmas gift ever; Jesus has been given an Ancestry UK DNA testing kit for Christmas. One...

Trump disappointed Agrabah is nothing like it is in the movie

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The POTUS sent a series of Tweets earlier about his visit to Saudi Arabia, after securing a $110 billion arms deal. The leader of the notoriously...

Christmas moved to November 12th

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Theresa May's government yesterday announced plans to move Christmas forward this year to November the 12th, just in case we don't all reach December. The...

Mary and Joseph arrested for health tourism

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Reports are reaching us that 2 people have been arrested in Judah on suspicion of being healthcare tourists. The pair say they are parents...
face palm

Turkey uses remaining irony reserves after vote to abolish democracy

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The official Turkish news agency (prop. R. T. Erdogan) reports that in a historic vote on Sunday, the people of Turkey voted overwhelmingly in...

The only chemicals you can kills kids with are high explosives and white phosphorus,...

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Following the outcry over the alleged chemical weapons attacks in Syria, the Pentagon have confirmed that the only legal chemicals you can use to...

Spirit of 2016 alive and well after gunman dressed as Santa kills dozens in...

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2017 is already showing great promise as a dreadful, awful parody of a year following a shootout between police officers possibly disguised as Santa Claus and a gunman disguised as Santa Claus in Turkey.
Justice

Britain plans Brexit trade deal ‘perverts for peace’

Following the embarrassment of the spectacular failure of a hideously expensive program to rehabilitate sex offenders, Ministry of Justice officials are arranging study visits...
Erdogan

Turkish referendum definitely not rigged, says head of the Turkish Electoral Commission Recep Erdogan

The Head of the Turkish Electoral Commission has put to rest rumours of vote rigging in Sunday's referendum to give almost unlimited powers to...

Gassing orphans is wrong says woman who prefers to starve them

Theresa May's regime has roundly condemned the Assad Regime's actions in Syria by saying it was wrong to use Sarin Gas on orphaned children. "It...

Terrorists rejoice at lower energy bills as Jihadis unplug TVs

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Terrorists worldwide are saving money on their energy bills as millions of Jihadis unplug their Samsung smart TVs from mains sockets. The move comes after...

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