Chilcot stuns world with news that Pope is catholic
Sir John Chilcot has stunned the world by stating again that the Pope is catholic and so it seems is Britain's greatest wartime leader...
Terrorists rejoice at lower energy bills as Jihadis unplug TVs
Terrorists worldwide are saving money on their energy bills as millions of Jihadis unplug their Samsung smart TVs from mains sockets.
The move comes after...
ISIS Propose Christmas Cease-Fire Kickabout
ISIS troops fighting around the city of Palmyra have suggested that hostilities be put aside for a few hours at Christmas for an informal game of football with opposing ground forces.
Turkish voters refuse to believe Erdogan a dictator till they see it written on...
Turkish voters across the country are still refusing to believe that Erdogan is an autocratic dictator despite the fact that he's locked up all...
Awkward moment for Joseph as Jesus gets Ancestry UK DNA testing kit for Christmas
In what has been described as the most awkward Christmas gift ever; Jesus has been given an Ancestry UK DNA testing kit for Christmas.
One...
Turkey uses remaining irony reserves after vote to abolish democracy
The official Turkish news agency (prop. R. T. Erdogan) reports that in a historic vote on Sunday, the people of Turkey voted overwhelmingly in...
Russia to shoot down all planes in Syrian airspace, including their own
This morning Russia released an announcement stating that any and all aircraft entering Syrian airspace will be immediately shot down without warning.
This, apparently,...
The only chemicals you can kills kids with are high explosives and white phosphorus,...
Following the outcry over the alleged chemical weapons attacks in Syria, the Pentagon have confirmed that the only legal chemicals you can use to...
Comedians Safe To Call Erdogan A Farthead
Comedians and satirists heaved a sigh of relief today as the prosecution of German comic Jan Böhmermann bubble Erdogan was dropped.
"Finally! Finally! Finally!" said...
Dominic Raab announces sanctions on Isle of Aran
Foreign Secretary, Dominic Raab has announced sanctions on the Isle of Aran. Mr Raaab announced the sanctions during a visit to Blackpool Tower in...
Aleppo Children launch crowdfunding campaign to replace Kim Kardashian jewellery
Children in Aleppo have called for an official Day of Mourning as they grieve in solidarity with the Kardashian family for the loss of...
ISIS claim responsibility for self-service checkouts
So called 'Islamic State' have claimed responsibility for supermarket self service checkouts.
A statement released by ISIS said they came up with the idea after...
Britain plans Brexit trade deal ‘perverts for peace’
Following the embarrassment of the spectacular failure of a hideously expensive program to rehabilitate sex offenders, Ministry of Justice officials are arranging study visits...
Mary and Joseph arrested for health tourism
Reports are reaching us that 2 people have been arrested in Judah on suspicion of being healthcare tourists. The pair say they are parents...
Historic ruling means Saudi men finally allowed to make women driver jokes
Equality campaigners were today celebrating as Saudi Arabia made a long-overdue change to its oppressive rules which prevent men from making jokes about women's...
Jeremy Corbyn reveals plan to become Iranian Ayatollah
In a surprising announcement, Jeremy Corbyn has said he plans to become Ayatollah in a bid to replace Ayatollah Ali Khamenei in Iran.
A spokesman...
