Middle-East

• Mullets are illegal in Iran • In 2007, Iran arrested 14 squirrels for spying • 70% of Iran’s science and engineering students are not men, but women • Most of the Islamic world mourned and condemned the 9-11 attacks, including Turkey half-masting all flags and Iran holding candlelight vigils • As a man, you can be arrested in Iran for wearing shorts • Iran tried to get into the Guinness book of Records in 2008 by making the world’s largest sandwich, but people started eating it before it could be officially measured so they failed •

Kardashian

Aleppo Children launch crowdfunding campaign to replace Kim Kardashian jewellery

0
Children in Aleppo have called for an official Day of Mourning as they grieve in solidarity with the Kardashian family for the loss of some shiny trinkets. Loud wailing could be heard echoing through the...

Picture yourself in their shoes

0
A picture of Omran Daqneesh, the five year old boy who was pulled from the rubble that used to be his home in Aleppo, Syria yesterday, has hit the news media by storm and...

Mary and Joseph arrested for health tourism

0
Reports are reaching us that 2 people have been arrested in Judah on suspicion of being healthcare tourists. The pair say they are parents to the future King of Kings. A Bethlehem border guard said,...

ISIS claim responsibility for self-service checkouts

0
So called 'Islamic State'  have claimed responsibility for supermarket self service checkouts. A statement released by ISIS said they came up with the idea after witnessing a man have a melt down with a vending...

Trump disappointed Agrabah is nothing like it is in the movie

0
The POTUS sent a series of Tweets earlier about his visit to Saudi Arabia, after securing a $110 billion arms deal. The leader of the notoriously extreme kleptocracy, famous for human rights violations, sat down with King...
Dominic Raab

Dominic Raab announces sanctions on Isle of Aran

0
Foreign Secretary, Dominic Raab has announced sanctions on the Isle of Aran. Mr Raaab announced the sanctions during a visit to Blackpool Tower in his Hull constituency. In a statement the Foreign Office said, "It...
Justice

Britain plans Brexit trade deal ‘perverts for peace’

Following the embarrassment of the spectacular failure of a hideously expensive program to rehabilitate sex offenders, Ministry of Justice officials are arranging study visits to Middle-Eastern countries to learn new methods  to prevent reoffending,...
angry old woman

Islamic State recruitment in crisis after Imam reveals martys actually get nineteen 72 year...

18
Islamic State have revealed they've had to enlist the help of a management consultancy company, Sunni side of the street, following a drop in recruitment. A member of the consultancy told the Herald that the...
Man laughing

Comedians Safe To Call Erdogan A Farthead

0
Comedians and satirists heaved a sigh of relief today as the prosecution of German comic Jan Böhmermann bubble Erdogan was dropped. "Finally! Finally! Finally!" said Lancashire comedian and satirist Noah Mentit, "I've really missed mocking...

ISIS claim responsibility for Windows 10 update

0
ISIS have released a statement taking responsibility for the latest Windows 10 update. The religious group released a statement today saying, "The recent major update of the Microsoft Windows 10 that took 6-10 hours to perform was...

Spirit of 2016 alive and well after gunman dressed as Santa kills dozens in...

4
2017 is already showing great promise as a dreadful, awful parody of a year following a shootout between police officers possibly disguised as Santa Claus and a gunman disguised as Santa Claus in Turkey.

The only chemicals you can kills kids with are high explosives and white phosphorus,...

0
Following the outcry over the alleged chemical weapons attacks in Syria, the Pentagon have confirmed that the only legal chemicals you can use to kill children are high explosives and white phosphorus. “We’ve been happily...

Chilcot stuns world with news that Pope is catholic

Sir John Chilcot has stunned the world by stating again that the Pope is catholic and so it seems is Britain's greatest wartime leader Tony Blair. The surprising rediscovery was made in an interview with...

Boris meant Saudis are awesome says Defence Secretary Michael Fallon

0
Boris Johnson’s words on Saudi Arabia and other Middle East powers were misreported, according to a clearly desperate Defence Secretary Sir Mr Michael of Fallon.

Mary forced to give birth on stable floor after health insurance refuses to cover...

0
A woman that claims she's about to give birth to the son of God has told the Herald, about how she is being forced to give birth on a stable floor. Mary told us, "I...

Jeremy Corbyn reveals plan to become Iranian Ayatollah

0
In a surprising announcement, Jeremy Corbyn has said he plans to become Ayatollah in a bid to replace Ayatollah Ali Khamenei in Iran. A spokesman said, "Iran is a country with a young population. Since...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts