Middle-East

• Mullets are illegal in Iran • In 2007, Iran arrested 14 squirrels for spying • 70% of Iran’s science and engineering students are not men, but women • Most of the Islamic world mourned and condemned the 9-11 attacks, including Turkey half-masting all flags and Iran holding candlelight vigils • As a man, you can be arrested in Iran for wearing shorts • Iran tried to get into the Guinness book of Records in 2008 by making the world’s largest sandwich, but people started eating it before it could be officially measured so they failed •

Justice

Britain plans Brexit trade deal ‘perverts for peace’

Following the embarrassment of the spectacular failure of a hideously expensive program to rehabilitate sex offenders, Ministry of Justice officials are arranging study visits...

Christmas moved to November 12th

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Theresa May's government yesterday announced plans to move Christmas forward this year to November the 12th, just in case we don't all reach December. The...

Trump disappointed Agrabah is nothing like it is in the movie

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The POTUS sent a series of Tweets earlier about his visit to Saudi Arabia, after securing a $110 billion arms deal. The leader of the notoriously...

ISIS Propose Christmas Cease-Fire Kickabout

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ISIS troops fighting around the city of Palmyra have suggested that hostilities be put aside for a few hours at Christmas for an informal game of football with opposing ground forces.

Jeremy Corbyn reveals plan to become Iranian Ayatollah

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In a surprising announcement, Jeremy Corbyn has said he plans to become Ayatollah in a bid to replace Ayatollah Ali Khamenei in Iran. A spokesman...

People of Aleppo not quite white enough

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European leaders have come together to stress how upset they are that the people of Aleppo have ever so slightly funny coloured skin and...
Kardashian

Aleppo Children launch crowdfunding campaign to replace Kim Kardashian jewellery

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Children in Aleppo have called for an official Day of Mourning as they grieve in solidarity with the Kardashian family for the loss of...

Spirit of 2016 alive and well after gunman dressed as Santa kills dozens in...

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2017 is already showing great promise as a dreadful, awful parody of a year following a shootout between police officers possibly disguised as Santa Claus and a gunman disguised as Santa Claus in Turkey.

Missile strike in Syria; mass outpouring of grief from OneDirection fans

Following the disastrous US missile strike in Syria yesterday which claimed the lives of 57 civilians including 11 children, teenagers and young adults around...

Chemical Attack was fake news says Asshat

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Bashir Assad has denied an attack on Khan Sheikhoun ever took place. “The attack was a fiction of the Western press,” said the Syrian leader...

Abu Hamza to be welcomed back to the UK with State Visit

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Hate preacher Abu Hamza has been invited to a State Visit after Number 10 revealed that they are widening the scope of the unsavoury...
Dominic Raab

Dominic Raab announces sanctions on Isle of Aran

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Foreign Secretary, Dominic Raab has announced sanctions on the Isle of Aran. Mr Raaab announced the sanctions during a visit to Blackpool Tower in...

Terrorists rejoice at lower energy bills as Jihadis unplug TVs

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Terrorists worldwide are saving money on their energy bills as millions of Jihadis unplug their Samsung smart TVs from mains sockets. The move comes after...

Awkward moment for Joseph as Jesus gets Ancestry UK DNA testing kit for Christmas

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In what has been described as the most awkward Christmas gift ever; Jesus has been given an Ancestry UK DNA testing kit for Christmas. One...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson backtracks after accidentally telling truth about Saudi Arabia

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After Boris Johnson was recorded last week saying that countries such as Iran and Saudi Arabia often fight proxy wars in the Middle East...

ISIS claim responsibility for self-service checkouts

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So called 'Islamic State'  have claimed responsibility for supermarket self service checkouts. A statement released by ISIS said they came up with the idea after...

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