Middle-East

• Mullets are illegal in Iran • In 2007, Iran arrested 14 squirrels for spying • 70% of Iran’s science and engineering students are not men, but women • Most of the Islamic world mourned and condemned the 9-11 attacks, including Turkey half-masting all flags and Iran holding candlelight vigils • As a man, you can be arrested in Iran for wearing shorts • Iran tried to get into the Guinness book of Records in 2008 by making the world’s largest sandwich, but people started eating it before it could be officially measured so they failed •

Boris Johnson backtracks after accidentally telling truth about Saudi Arabia

After Boris Johnson was recorded last week saying that countries such as Iran and Saudi Arabia often fight proxy wars in the Middle East over who’s the most pious and loving of a magic...
Blair Middle East Refugees

The Middle East starts packing as Blair hints at return to politics

The Oxford English definition of irony, former Middle East Peace Envoy, Tony Blair, suggested a political return may be on the cards in a magazine interview published earlier today.The comments came in reference to...

Aleppo considered for prestigious Halloween award

Officials have been visiting Aleppo this week, as judging continues of the cities on the shortlist for the much coveted Vincent Price Spirit of Halloween award.The competition, which was started by legend of horror...
face palm

Turkey uses remaining irony reserves after vote to abolish democracy

The official Turkish news agency (prop. R. T. Erdogan) reports that in a historic vote on Sunday, the people of Turkey voted overwhelmingly in a democratic referendum to abolish democracy. The astonishing result (51%...
Stag Do

ISIS leader admits 2014 invasion was just a stag do that ‘got a bit...

WITHIN THE LAST HOUR the leader of the so-called Islamic State group, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, has issued a statement admitting that the whole thing was just a stag party dare "that got a bit out...

Picture yourself in their shoes

A picture of Omran Daqneesh, the five year old boy who was pulled from the rubble that used to be his home in Aleppo, Syria yesterday, has hit the news media by storm and...

Christmas moved to November 12th

Theresa May's government yesterday announced plans to move Christmas forward this year to November the 12th, just in case we don't all reach December.The decision was taken soon after Bumberling Boris decided to flex...
Arab men laughing

Historic ruling means Saudi men finally allowed to make women driver jokes

Equality campaigners were today celebrating as Saudi Arabia made a long-overdue change to its oppressive rules which prevent men from making jokes about women's driving.King Salman's decree, which is due to become law by...

Chilcot recommends that Blair sit on ‘naughty step’ for Iraq war mistakes…

Sir John Chilcot has come out with excoriating criticisms of former Prime Minister Tony Blair’s attempt to mislead the public and MPs over the invasion of Iraq and has recommended stringent action be taken...

Terrorists rejoice at lower energy bills as Jihadis unplug TVs

Terrorists worldwide are saving money on their energy bills as millions of Jihadis unplug their Samsung smart TVs from mains sockets.The move comes after revelations that the CIA and GCHQ have hacked into the...

ISIS Propose Christmas Cease-Fire Kickabout

ISIS troops fighting around the city of Palmyra have suggested that hostilities be put aside for a few hours at Christmas for an informal game of football with opposing ground forces.

Chilcot stuns world with news that Pope is catholic

Sir John Chilcot has stunned the world by stating again that the Pope is catholic and so it seems is Britain’s greatest wartime leader Tony Blair.The surprising rediscovery was made in an interview with...

Spirit of 2016 alive and well after gunman dressed as Santa kills dozens in...

2017 is already showing great promise as a dreadful, awful parody of a year following a shootout between police officers possibly disguised as Santa Claus and a gunman disguised as Santa Claus in Turkey.
Erdogan

Turkish referendum definitely not rigged, says head of the Turkish Electoral Commission Recep Erdogan

The Head of the Turkish Electoral Commission has put to rest rumours of vote rigging in Sunday's referendum to give almost unlimited powers to Recep Erdogan."The referendum was definitely not rigged." Mr Recep Erdogan,...

ISIS withdraw from Iraq after Blair’s return to politics announcement

Tony Blair yesterday announced that he intended to fill a massive hole and that after that he'd return to British politics.In an interview he described Theresa May as "that fucking usless woman" and Jeremy...

Boris meant Saudis are awesome says Defence Secretary Michael Fallon

Boris Johnson’s words on Saudi Arabia and other Middle East powers were misreported, according to a clearly desperate Defence Secretary Sir Mr Michael of Fallon.

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