In a surprising announcement, Jeremy Corbyn has said he plans to become Ayatollah in a bid to replace Ayatollah Ali Khamenei in Iran.
A spokesman said, “Iran is a country with a young population. Since Jeremy has conquered Britain with his youth appeal he’s been kicking around looking for things to do. It’s become a bit boring being Labour leader. He just has to go to PMQ’s on a Wednesday. He could work Sunday, Monday, Tuesday in Iran and do Wednesday to Friday here.
“We believe his message of hope for the many will chime with Iran’s youth. Plus, he has a good beard and all his homies agree, he really looks good in black.”
Some Momentum members have said they’ve heard the youth of Iran sing, “Oh, Ayatollah Khorbynei” in the streets. A clear demonstration of the wishes of the Iranian people.
Some Labour members do have doubts about how effective Ayatollah Khorbynei would be. They’ve been added to a list of dissenters and shot though. An action thought to have impressed the Iranian Government.
On the Iranian Governments sponsorship of Hezbollah, one Momentum member said, “The msm is always on about Khorbynei and Iran’s links to Hezbollah. They don’t say how Jeremy single-handedly brought peace to Ireland. He’ll bring peace to the Middle East in 2 months.”
The Iranian Government are said to be quite interested in Khorbynei’s approach to nuclear weapons. One source said, “On the one hand he opposes nuclear weapons publicly then his party votes for Trident in private. This is a very good position to be in.”
It’s also alleged that the Iranian Government maybe a fan of Ayatollah Khorbynei. The British Left’s hatred of the state of Israel means that Corbyn’s foreign policy could be immediately popular with the Iranian Government.
There are even rumours that Ken Livingston could be in line to be Ayatollah Khorbynei’s foreign minister.
