Middle-East

• Mullets are illegal in Iran • In 2007, Iran arrested 14 squirrels for spying • 70% of Iran’s science and engineering students are not men, but women • Most of the Islamic world mourned and condemned the 9-11 attacks, including Turkey half-masting all flags and Iran holding candlelight vigils • As a man, you can be arrested in Iran for wearing shorts • Iran tried to get into the Guinness book of Records in 2008 by making the world’s largest sandwich, but people started eating it before it could be officially measured so they failed •

Turkish voters refuse to believe Erdogan a dictator till they see it written on...

Turkish voters across the country are still refusing to believe that Erdogan is an autocratic dictator despite the fact that he's locked up all the opposition journalists."We need to see it on a big...
Missiles flying into sky

Russia to shoot down all planes in Syrian airspace, including their own

This morning Russia released an announcement stating that any and all aircraft entering Syrian airspace will be immediately shot down without warning.  This, apparently, includes Russia's own military aircraft.General Yuri Bigbangskivich, spokesman for the...

Chemical Attack was fake news says Asshat

Bashir Assad has denied an attack on Khan Sheikhoun ever took place.“The attack was a fiction of the Western press,” said the Syrian leader who previously said by proxy that it was an attack...
Arab men laughing

Historic ruling means Saudi men finally allowed to make women driver jokes

Equality campaigners were today celebrating as Saudi Arabia made a long-overdue change to its oppressive rules which prevent men from making jokes about women's driving.King Salman's decree, which is due to become law by...
Erdogan

Turkish referendum definitely not rigged, says head of the Turkish Electoral Commission Recep Erdogan

The Head of the Turkish Electoral Commission has put to rest rumours of vote rigging in Sunday's referendum to give almost unlimited powers to Recep Erdogan."The referendum was definitely not rigged." Mr Recep Erdogan,...
Justice

Britain plans Brexit trade deal ‘perverts for peace’

Following the embarrassment of the spectacular failure of a hideously expensive program to rehabilitate sex offenders, Ministry of Justice officials are arranging study visits to Middle-Eastern countries to learn new methods  to prevent reoffending,...

Terrorists rejoice at lower energy bills as Jihadis unplug TVs

Terrorists worldwide are saving money on their energy bills as millions of Jihadis unplug their Samsung smart TVs from mains sockets.The move comes after revelations that the CIA and GCHQ have hacked into the...

Chilcot recommends that Blair sit on ‘naughty step’ for Iraq war mistakes…

Sir John Chilcot has come out with excoriating criticisms of former Prime Minister Tony Blair’s attempt to mislead the public and MPs over the invasion of Iraq and has recommended stringent action be taken...
Stag Do

ISIS leader admits 2014 invasion was just a stag do that ‘got a bit...

WITHIN THE LAST HOUR the leader of the so-called Islamic State group, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, has issued a statement admitting that the whole thing was just a stag party dare "that got a bit out...

ISIS claim responsibility for self-service checkouts

So called 'Islamic State'  have claimed responsibility for supermarket self service checkouts.A statement released by ISIS said they came up with the idea after witnessing a man have a melt down with a vending...

New evidence proves Jesus was English

Jesus is English? No, not really. That was a test. If you're reading this, you've passed. Well done. If not, this article is about you. If you're reading it for the third time, well...

ISIS withdraw from Iraq after Blair’s return to politics announcement

Tony Blair yesterday announced that he intended to fill a massive hole and that after that he'd return to British politics.In an interview he described Theresa May as "that fucking usless woman" and Jeremy...

Missile strike in Syria; mass outpouring of grief from OneDirection fans

Following the disastrous US missile strike in Syria yesterday which claimed the lives of 57 civilians including 11 children, teenagers and young adults around the world have taken to social media in their hundreds...
Toffee pennies

Campaign to send 58 million toffee pennies to Syria

Overseas aid charity, Feed the World, has launched a campaign to collect everyone's unwanted Christmas 'treats' and send them to Syria and other war-torn countries."Coffee creams, orange ones and them God awful strawberry ones,...

Chilcot stuns world with news that Pope is catholic

Sir John Chilcot has stunned the world by stating again that the Pope is catholic and so it seems is Britain’s greatest wartime leader Tony Blair.The surprising rediscovery was made in an interview with...

The only chemicals you can kills kids with are high explosives and white phosphorus,...

Following the outcry over the alleged chemical weapons attacks in Syria, the Pentagon have confirmed that the only legal chemicals you can use to kill children are high explosives and white phosphorus.“We’ve been happily...

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