British Tomahawks Launched As Part Of U.S. Strike Hit Aledo

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It has been revealed that as part of Donald Trump's assault on Syria, two British missiles were launched. These missiles were said to be...

Tim Nice But Dim appointed UK Ambassador to the EU

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In a surprise move Theresa May has appointed Tim Nice But Dim UK Amabassador to the EU.
Fat Man on Beach

I’m not an immigrant, I’m British says Britain First supporter who lives on the...

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When asked what he would describe himself as, as an Englishman abroad, he will usually say something like: “Im an export int I”
Angry Man

UK to mobilise army of “social media warriors” to protect Gibraltar

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With no aircraft carriers and military resources already overstretched in Afghanistan, the Ministry of Defence has announced that it is calling up the UK's "third force"...

Greta Thunberg urges politicians to think of the planet they are leaving for Keith...

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Greta Thunberg has urged politicians to consider the planet they are leaving for Keith Richards when making policies that affect the climate. Speaking just before...

Leave campaigner forced to abandon argument after forgetting what Brexit means

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Panic today as vocal anti-EU campaigner, Dennis Pigwater, forgot a crucial piece of his argument during an online debate. Dennis, 58, from Rochdale, was engaged...

ACEA: No U-Turn on Right-hand Drive Cars

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The European Automobile Manufacturers Association (ACEA: Association des Constructeurs Européens d'Automobiles) looks set to cease the production of right-hand drive vehicles by mid-2019. The decision...

12th Doctor Who to Run for French Presidency 

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Peter Capaldi AKA The Doctor has expressed an interest in becoming the French President at the next election. The current Timelord who is also...

Sponsorship deal agreed for new Emirates Notre Dame Cathedral

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Following the destruction of popular prayer centre Notre Dame Cathedral, the Pope and President Macron jointly announced today that the gothic edifice would be...
Angela Merkel

Angela Merkel to meet Theresa May to tell her to piss off in person

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Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, is due to meet with Theresa May later today to spit in her face and tell her to piss...

Quackpot fundamentalist and friend of dictators finally canonised by paedophiles

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Mother Theresa of Calcutta became Saint Theresa yesterday in a small ceremony in the Vatican. Saint Theresa, who passed through Rochdale on her way...
Spanish Inquisition

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition, says King Felipe of Spain

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During his state visit, the king of Spain addressed the British parliament yesterday. All went well until the king dropped the G-bomb: Gibraltar. A...

Singing Ringing Tree to be felled for post-Brexit firewood

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Britain's exit from the European Union is set to spell the end for some of the country's best loved children's TV programmes, it was...
Trump

You had some very fine people on both sides, Trump tells D-Day veterans

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Donald Trump has told D-Day veterans that there were very fine people on both sides of the battles to control the Normandy Beaches during...

PG tips bribery scandal uncovered as Tim Farron makes ‘put the kettle on’ jibe

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In the wake of the Leaders debate on the BBC, it has been alleged that lib dem leader Tim Farron was paid a substantial amount...
Theresa May

Theresa May admits using ‘BREXOMATHICS’ to calculate number of overstaying foreign students

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"It's so simple, you take a real number and keep doubling it until everyone's eyes light up," explained May pointing out that it worked...

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