Quackpot fundamentalist and friend of dictators finally canonised by paedophiles

1
Mother Theresa of Calcutta became Saint Theresa yesterday in a small ceremony in the Vatican. Saint Theresa, who passed through Rochdale on her way...

No Government is better than a bad Government Italy tells UK

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Italian President, Sergio Mattarella has told the UK that having no Government is better than having a bad Government following the Italian people electing to go with...

DUP ask Merkel for one billion Euros to give her their support in Bundestag

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News broke this morning that the Northern Ireland political party, the DUP, has demanded one billion euros from Angela Merkel in order to support...

We tried democracy and Franco-ly it’s not for us, Spanish government tells voters

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The Prime Minister of Spain has told voters that democracy isn't for them and it refuses to recognise the result of a referendum on...
Angela Merkel

Angela Merkel to meet Theresa May to tell her to piss off in person

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Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, is due to meet with Theresa May later today to spit in her face and tell her to piss...
Santa

Scandinavian ‘Too Drunk To Stand’ Following Drunk-Sleighing Arrest

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Rochdale magistrates heard how a visitor from Lapland, Mr Nicholas Saint (1,747) created havoc in Rochdale with his erratic control over his team of excitable reindeer pulling a bright red sleigh.

Notre Dame Cathedral fire caused by unattended Chip pan in bell tower

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Parisian fire fighters are currently battling a roaring fire at the Notre Dame cathedral. The fire has caused one of the medieval spires and a...

Cheap Nutella latest in long list of things French will riot about

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Sweetened hazelnut cocoa spread joins all the other things the frogs are hopping mad about News broke this week that the French, yes, that lot...

PG tips bribery scandal uncovered as Tim Farron makes ‘put the kettle on’ jibe

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In the wake of the Leaders debate on the BBC, it has been alleged that lib dem leader Tim Farron was paid a substantial amount...
Belgian Beer

Belgian brewers threaten budget busting Brexit blackmail beer price boost

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The world’s biggest beer company, Belgium based Anheuser-Busch Inbev warned Monday that the drop in value of Sterling in the wake of the UK's...
Geert Wilders

World “back on track” after Dutch non-Nazi gets 20% of the vote

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World leaders have rushed to hail the Dutch general election as the turning point in the history of civilisation. With the rising tide of...
Brexiter

Brexiter fury as Europe steals patented British Divide and Conquer negotiating strategy

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Brexiters across this once mighty country were swearing into their fry ups this morning with the discovery the EU has a negotiating strategy. "It's just...
water cannon

German Police deploy hydration wagons to cool off crowd outside G20 summit

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Police in Hamburg Germany have deployed Mobile Hydration Wagons in an effort to cool down overheated and thirsty crowds gathered out side the G20...

Idiot dies in Karmic Avalanche

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An idiot died in an avalanche of Karma in the town of Teruel in Aragon, Spain, yesterday. Victor Barrio (29), having spent the last 9...
Putin

David Cameron becomes Hero of the Russian Federation

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The Kremlin announced today that David Cameron is to be recognised as a Hero of the Russian Federation, the highest honour that can be...

Spanish Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy wins European Thundercunt of the year award

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The Spanish Prime Minister, Mariano Rajoy, was thrilled to learn last night that he has won the coveted European Thundercunt of the Year Award...

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