Spain Says ‘Direct Rule Impossible’ after Entire Catalan Population Hides
Spanish Prime-Minister Marion Rajoy has tonight been unable to suspend the Catalonian Parliament after their leader along with the rest of the population went...
You had some very fine people on both sides, Trump tells D-Day veterans
Donald Trump has told D-Day veterans that there were very fine people on both sides of the battles to control the Normandy Beaches during...
Greta Thunberg urges politicians to think of the planet they are leaving for Keith...
Greta Thunberg has urged politicians to consider the planet they are leaving for Keith Richards when making policies that affect the climate.
Speaking just before...
No one expects the Spanish Inquisition, says King Felipe of Spain
During his state visit, the king of Spain addressed the British parliament yesterday. All went well until the king dropped the G-bomb: Gibraltar.
A...
UK border agency given right to conduct posthumous deportations
The UK border agency has been given the green light to start deporting the interred remains of people not born in the UK, a...
Home Office to open Job Centre and Benefits Office in Migrant Calais Jungle
There was outrage in the editorial bunker at The Rochdale Herald after one of the editorial team accidentally read an article in the Telegraph.
"It...
NATO leaders issue declaration of unity against Donald Trump
NATO leaders have issued a statement of unity aimed at preserving the alliance against Donald Trump.
One spokesman said, "It may seem strange that we're...
Theresa May admits using ‘BREXOMATHICS’ to calculate number of overstaying foreign students
"It's so simple, you take a real number and keep doubling it until everyone's eyes light up," explained May pointing out that it worked...
“I wasn’t wanking, I was self-isolating.” Paris Mayor candidate caught on video.
Benjamin Griveaux dropped out of the race to become the next Mayor of Paris after video emerged appearing to show him making love to...
Angela Merkel to meet Theresa May to tell her to fuck off in person
Following historic meetings with world leaders such as Carwyn Jones and Nicola Sturgeon during her first week as British Prime Minister Theresa is set...
Notre Dame Cathedral fire caused by unattended Chip pan in bell tower
Parisian fire fighters are currently battling a roaring fire at the Notre Dame cathedral.
The fire has caused one of the medieval spires and a...
Tim Nice But Dim appointed UK Ambassador to the EU
In a surprise move Theresa May has appointed Tim Nice But Dim UK Amabassador to the EU.
Macron wants UK to give him head in return for Bayeux tapestry
Monarchists were today outraged by the suggestion by Emmanuel Macron, President of France, that the severed heads of the British royal family would be...
Macron roasts Le Swan
Emmanuel Macron last night served up a beautifully roasted swan at his victory dinner. The new French President was celebrating his victory with close...
New Technology Foils Illegal Immigrants
In conjunction with the British Government-funded wall in Calais, British officials are working with maritime consultants on methods to physically prevent illegal immigrants from...
May to appeal to Supreme Court ruling at European Court of Justice
In a move that has thoroughly confused political observers, Theresa May has instructed the Attorney General to appeal today's Supreme Court judgement on Article...
