Theresa May admits using ‘BREXOMATHICS’ to calculate number of overstaying foreign students
"It's so simple, you take a real number and keep doubling it until everyone's eyes light up," explained May pointing out that it worked...
Germany devoid of German Christmas markets
German shoppers are disappointed that they have nowhere to buy lots of pointless tat in the run up to Christmas.
With every British town apparently...
Angela Merkel to meet Theresa May to tell her to piss off in person
Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, is due to meet with Theresa May later today to spit in her face and tell her to piss...
NATO leaders issue declaration of unity against Donald Trump
NATO leaders have issued a statement of unity aimed at preserving the alliance against Donald Trump.
One spokesman said, "It may seem strange that we're...
Santa to be denied entry to U.K. under proposed points system
Santa is to be denied entry to the UK under the new points based immigration system.
A Home Office spokesman told us, "The system...
Heavily armed men in masks carrying clubs burn homes in Northern France
A large group of heavily armed men carrying clubs and guns attacked and burned the homes of several thousand people in Northern France yesterday...
Top Vatican paedophiles and the Pope claim Transgender people are ‘crime against God’
Frock wearing top Catholic wizard Pope Francis has decided that transgender people are a crime against God.
"They teach children -children!- that they can choose...
EU to force UK to use £ s d following Brexit…
Brussels has warned that Britain will no longer be allowed to use the decimal system following Brexit and will be forced to go back...
Beekeeper stung to death after Danish Police force him to remove veil
Denmark was in shock today after a Danish beekeeper was stung to death in a tragic apiculture accident in Denmark.
The news comes just days...
Revealed! What ‘Brexit’ means.
After months of denying that 'Brexit' could be defined in terms of anything other than being 'Brexit', the Government has finally announced what, in...
Campaign to move Calais Jungle migrant Camp to Southend dubbed inhumane
Plans to move the makeshift refugee camp in Calais to Southend were quashed today after a cross party committee called the plans inhumane.
Refugees from...
ACEA: No U-Turn on Right-hand Drive Cars
The European Automobile Manufacturers Association (ACEA: Association des Constructeurs Européens d'Automobiles) looks set to cease the production of right-hand drive vehicles by mid-2019.
The decision...
World “back on track” after Dutch non-Nazi gets 20% of the vote
World leaders have rushed to hail the Dutch general election as the turning point in the history of civilisation. With the rising tide of...
New Technology Foils Illegal Immigrants
In conjunction with the British Government-funded wall in Calais, British officials are working with maritime consultants on methods to physically prevent illegal immigrants from...
“I wasn’t wanking, I was self-isolating.” Paris Mayor candidate caught on video.
Benjamin Griveaux dropped out of the race to become the next Mayor of Paris after video emerged appearing to show him making love to...
No one expects the Spanish Inquisition, says King Felipe of Spain
During his state visit, the king of Spain addressed the British parliament yesterday. All went well until the king dropped the G-bomb: Gibraltar.
A...
