Demolition

New EU regulations will require all new houses to have Toulouse

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Flush from the success of Brexit, the EU Commission has been swift to demonstrate what the future looks like without a good hard Brit. ...

Beekeeper stung to death after Danish police force her to remove veil

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Denmark was in shock today after a Danish beekeeper was stung to death in a tragic apiculture accident in Denmark. The news comes just days...
Angela Merkel

Angela Merkel to meet Theresa May to tell her to piss off in person

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Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, is due to meet with Theresa May later today to spit in her face and tell her to piss...
Catalonia

Spain apologises to Catalonia saying I’m sorry you made me hit you

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THE SPANISH GOVERNMENT'S representative in Catalonia has, sort of, apologised to those injured by the Iberian Stasi during Sunday's independence referendum. Enric Millo, playing the...
Katie Hopkins

Katie Hopkins killed and eaten by starving migrants

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Mail Online columnist Katie Hopkins' plan to drown migrants attempting to cross the Mediterranean to prevent them coming to the UK has been put...
Gibraltar

Downing Street Confirms Gibraltar To Be Closed Down

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Downing Street has confirmed that Gibraltar is to be closed. With the success of Brexit guaranteeing the ability to launder money in the U.K., at...
Marine Le Pen

Marine Le Pen demands Malian be charged with breaking and entering

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Marine Le Pen has demanded to know why a Malian refugee was given citizenship and not arrested for breaking and entering over the weekend....
Putin

David Cameron becomes Hero of the Russian Federation

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The Kremlin announced today that David Cameron is to be recognised as a Hero of the Russian Federation, the highest honour that can be...
Surprised Santa

Santa to be denied entry to U.K. under proposed points system

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Santa is to be denied entry to the UK under the new points based immigration system. A Home Office spokesman told us, "The system...
Bomb Squad

May tells Merkel,”This is just a taste of what I’ve got”.

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News reports this morning state that the entire city of Hannover is to be evacuated following the discovery of numerous unexploded WW2 bombs. Apparently, Theresa...

Italians face criticism over construction. 

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The Italian government had come under severe criticism today for the standards of its building construction in the 1600's. This comes in the wake...
Macron

Macron roasts Le Swan

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Emmanuel Macron last night served up a beautifully roasted swan at his victory dinner. The new French President was celebrating his victory with close...
Belgian Beer

Belgian brewers threaten budget busting Brexit blackmail beer price boost

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The world’s biggest beer company, Belgium based Anheuser-Busch Inbev warned Monday that the drop in value of Sterling in the wake of the UK's...

Monkey spanking decriminalised in Italy

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A man known only as Pietro L was charged with a public disorder offence earlier this year after being caught choking his chorizo on...

German families to heat homes using hot air from Donald Trump

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German families are to use the hot air that emanates from Donald Trump to heat their homes. The news was broken by the German Government...

We tried democracy and Franco-ly it’s not for us, Spanish government tells voters

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The Prime Minister of Spain has told voters that democracy isn't for them and it refuses to recognise the result of a referendum on...

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