World leaders have rushed to hail the Dutch general election as the turning point in the history of civilisation. With the rising tide of global populism, the election of Donald Duck as United States president, and even Brexit, the mood in Europe was low.
However, with the incumbent Prime Minister – running against a crazed fascist lunatic with a head like a lollipop stick- managing to secure a massive 20% of the vote, the planet is back on track!
“This is a massive victory for the EU, the people have spoken and they are all behind us” gushed Angela Merkel.
“this is a fantastic victory and anything that takes attention away from the complete disaster of my presidency is good news for everyone” enthused Francois Hollande.
“The Islam hating Nazi sympathiser won” said Recip Erdogan.
Theresa May did not comment when asked about the result as she is still hiding from Phillip Hammond.