Trump Named Person of the Year by Shit Hair Magazine
In an unpresidented turn of events, one of Donald Trump's tweets was proven to be correct today after Shit Hair Magazine declared him person...
Fatal logic feedback loop kills five more Americans
America has once again been proved right as yet another mass shooting takes place in shopping mall and nobody armed inside could shoot the...
Sex Workers to sue Daily Mail for comparing them to Melania Trump
Millions of sex workers are suing right wing rag, The Daily Mail, after they referred to Melania Trump as a "former sex worker" in...
I don’t make mistakes says man who accidentally got himself elected President
A giant orange man child who accidentally got himself elected President of the United States during a publicity stunt for his gaudy golf course business announced live on television that he doesn't make mistakes, immediately before making a mistake.
Mass shootings are an unsolvable problem says country with a mass shootings problem
A country that has a really serious problem with deranged lunatics buying really big guns and shooting dozens of strangers has publicly said it...
US Government admits covering up red alert over imminent asteroid impact
Scientists and Government sources have confirmed that the giant asteroid, 2016-FI is on course to strike the Northern Hemisphere after initial uncertainty about it's...
Kavanaugh to celebrate Supreme Court confirmation with White House keg party
Newly-appointed Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh will celebrate his confirmation later today by throwing a massive kegger at the White House, sources have confirmed.
Kavanaugh, whose nomination...
Trump calls for ban on food festivals after latest mass shooting
Trump calls for ban on food festivals after latest mass shootingSo-called 'President' and full-time Twitter troll Donald Trump wants a 'total and complete shutdown'...
Director of CIA asks Jason Bourne to drop in on Trump for a ‘quiet...
The Director of The CIA, John O'Brennan, asked Jason Bourne to pop over to Trump Tower.
Following allegations Donald Trump made about the US intelligence...
IRS look forward to “getting to the bottom” of Trump’s Federal Income Tax “I’m...
Surgical glove manufacturer Sphinctoraw Inc got a surprise order for 110,000 pairs of elbow length surgical gloves from the IRS.
The order was placed...
Latin America overdoses on Irony as CIA complains Russia rigged US election
Thousands of people are feared dead in Central and Latin America this week after literally laughing their heads off at the news that the...
Rothschilds ‘surprised’ at Trump victory but pleased in investment in US wall building company
The Rothschild family are set for a huge windfall following Donald Trump's 'surprise' success in the US election.
Man who works at institution he’s opposed to because he’s paid to says he...
Nigel Farage, who said a month ago that he wouldn't pledge support for Trump, has appeared at a Trump rally to pledge support for...
Nigel farage to accept Russian Government lifetime achievement award in person
Nigel Farage MP (just kidding) is alleged to be thrilled at being awarded the Russian Government's lifetime achievement award.
Zoya Feedosev, Russian envoy to...
Trump’s view on border wall evolves after learning the word ‘ladder’
Donald Trump has sensationally dropped his controversial border wall plan, a key election promise, after seeing one of his Mexican labourers use a ladder for the first time.
Trump aide sacked after misspelt memo advised him to secure the “rapist vote”
It emerged that a senior aide has been dismissed after a spelling mistake caused a schism in Presidential campaign.
