America

“Kim Jong Un? He can’t dance, that brother ain’t got no Seoul. You know I put the rump into Trump babycakes. When I slut drop you know it’s going to be fire and fury on the dance floor.”

Donald Trump has sensationally tweeted that Prince Harry was going to ask him to marry him. POTUS explained on social media yesterday that he had turned down Harry's proposal as he didn't have the...

Hateful, racist, bigoted white supremacist Donald Trump has called on the people of the United States to unite against hate, racism, bigotry and white supremacy. Reading from a teleprompter - where the big words are...

In his bid to become master of the universe, Donald Trump has postulated a new set of axioms about the physical universe as we know it. During his combined groundbreaking physics lecture and presidential...

President-elect, Donald Trump, learned that Nigel Farage is not the King of England and that the monarch is in fact a female, on an interview with FOX news earlier today A visibly shaken Mr. Trump...

Within the last hour the White House has announced plans to extend its controversial travel ban to unborn foetuses.  Trump’s Press Secretary, Sean Spicer, confirmed that the extension will be in place by Monday afternoon and will apply...

A spokesperson for White House Security has just confirmed that the intruder apprehended today was Nigel Farage. Mr. Farage was promptly arrested after scaling the wall of the White House habitation wing carrying a rucksack. Amongst...

Hollywood millionaire Harvey Weinstein has said he is "truly sorry" for cracking jokes about James Corden at a black tie charity dinner in Los Angeles. Mr Weinstein released a press statement apologising for his quips,...

A spokesman for Donald Trump has announced that the eagerly anticipated Trump autobiography is set for release in early December just in time for Christmas. The book, titled "My Struggle" will focus largely on his...

Donald Trump told a press conference that there were good people amongst the white supremacists and Neo-Nazis at the Charlottesville Unite the Right protest over the weekend. "My mother and father were amongst the protestors...

Soon to be former-president, Barrack "Bazzer" Obama has said that nobody ever said that democracy was supposed to be easy and "it's harder than a priest in a daycare centre," in an attempt to...

Donald Trump has denied ever meeting Donald Trump Jr. The denial comes after it was revealed by Trump Jr that he had met Russian Natalia Veselnitskaya at Trump Tower and they had discussed incriminating information...

Ralph H. Ick, head of the Texas branch of the NRA made the shocking statement yesterday after seven children were slain and three were left in a critical condition after a school shooting that...

The US Vice President, Mike Pence, has told reporters that the Trump administration's policy of keeping child migrants in cages is definitely consistent with the teachings of Jesus Christ.  Speaking at a press conference late last...

Donald Trump has declared Britain "unsafe for US Citizens" as the UK Armed Police have been named the worst in the World on the influential Slager Scale. Named after Michael Slager - the fat,...

Scientists and Government sources have confirmed that the giant asteroid, 2016-FI is on course to strike the Northern Hemisphere after initial uncertainty about it's trajectory. The news was first reported by California's Yackler Observatory...