America

Donald Trump has unveiled his latest scheme to “make America great again” - a huge wall along the entire coast to keep out hurricanes, or “foreign storms” as he put it. “All this foreign air...

Scenes of wild jubilation, gunfire and a surfeit of 'Go Large Burgers with Extra Fries' greeted the overnight transformation of the United States of America into a parody of itself. Fat people all over the...

POTATUS has announced that he will begin to give CNN press conferences in Saudi Embassies from now on. The announcement comes as his administration complained that reporters ask too many hard questions and rarely ask...

Due to White House budget cuts, an experienced but cheap actor was selected for the part. Bit part "character actor" Rowle Player is best known for his recurring role as Third Klingon in Star...

American conspiracy theorists heads are exploding at an alarming rate as the two main presidential candidates get more and more terrible. "Up until yesterday I was pretty convinced that the reason that Donald Trump was running...

Good guys with guns in America went on the record this morning to complain they're unfairly getting a bad reputation after failing to prevent the 2078th successive mass shooting since 2,000.

Trump advisor Kellyanne Conway’s assertion that microwaves can ‘turn into cameras’ has led to thousands of Americans winding up in hospital after putting their heads into microwave ovens in an attempt to take selfies. Conway...

Donald Trump left an eager crowd shocked in Poland today when he failed to mention the length of his schlong once during a rousing speech. The crowd, some bussed in by the ruling party from...

In a bold new democracy-busting move, Emperor Trump has decreed the police will now swear an oath of allegiance directly to the person of himself. They will be rebranded "the Orange Shirts", be given...

Donald Trump has today announced a huge package of far reaching sanctions against Germany after discovering that Germany failed to help the US during the D-Day landings. The sanctions will take effect on Monday and...

After 63 years of success Alcoholics Anonymous of America have added a 13th Step to their eponymous programme - Step 13: Don't Fucking Bother. The new step has been introduced today. Founder of AAA Bill...

The United States is getting a new national anthem, it has been announced. An executive order has been signed replacing the old anthem, The Star-Spangled Banner, with a new song, Donald, Donald Uber Alles. When...

Donald Trump has called for a 'total and complete shutdown' of dinosaurs entering the United States after inadvertently watching the new trailer for Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. It is understood that the US President stumbled...

US President Donald Trump has called on the BBC to appoint him as the new Dr Who. In a series of tweets at 3am this morning the famously insomniac  US president announced that he would...

Following several nights of violence and riots across the United States in response to the death of George Floyd US police departments are said to be considering radical changes to the way they murder...

President-elect of the USA Donald J Trump has been named “Person Of The Year” by TIME magazine which referred to its own nation as the Divided States of America on its front page. Known as...