Gun sales rise 300% ahead of Trump Inauguration

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American gun sales have enjoyed a steep rise in the days leading up to the President elect's inauguration. "It's almost 200% more than when Bush...

Alcoholics Anonymous of America add 13th Step – Don’t Fucking Bother

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After 63 years of success Alcoholics Anonymous of America have added a 13th Step to their eponymous programme - Step 13: Don't Fucking Bother. The...
Putin Appraisal

Putin gives Trump “requires improvement” rating during annual appraisal meeting

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Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin have sought to deny allegations that President Trump has been awarded a, "requires improvement" rating during his first one...

Trump asking his people to crack the nuclear codes in case he needs to...

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‘I hope POTUS has his best people working on cracking the nuclear codes in case we go to war with that crazy man in Canada.’

Trump campaign an elaborate game of  ‘Electoral Chicken’

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Emails leaked from Donald Trump's campaign office over the weekend appear to show that the follically absurd pseudo-politician is engaged in a mass game...

Oh for F**k’s sake – say world leaders following Trump nomination

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Leaders around the world let out a simultaneous sigh of despair last night as the Republican Party confirmed Donald Trump's presidential nomination. In yet another...
Sorry Trump

Trump condemns dead soldier for not standing during national anthem

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President Donald Trump has rebuked allegations of inappropriate comments made by the grieving widow of a US soldier today by pointing out her husband...

Texas commemorates first mass shooting by giving students guns to take to school

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To celebrate the 50th anniversary of the world's inaugural mass shooting event at the University of Austin in Texas law makers have passed a...

Donald Trump tests positive for IQ-19

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Despite being the healthiest individual ever elected to the Presidency, reports are emerging that Donald Trump has tested positive for IQ-19. Harold Bornstein, Trump's former...

Trump rushed to John Hopkins with severe burns

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Donald Trump is said to be in a stable but critical condition this morning after being rushed to hospital suffering from self inflicted third...

Confederates, KKK and slave owners outraged by Appointment of Jeff Sessions to Attorney General

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Confederates, slave owners and prominent members of the Ku Klux Klan have taken to Facebook to condemn Trump's nomination of Jeff Sessions to the office of Attorney General.

Elon Musk offers POTUS a ticket to ride his rocket

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Sources close to the White House have revealed that Elon Musk has today offered Donald Trump a ride on the next Falcon Heavy rocket. The...
Toxic Sign

Trump gives a shot in the arm to 2020 Darwin Awards

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President Donald Trump has thrown an unexpected and much appreciated lifeline to the 2020 Darwin Awards. The well-known website which describes itself as  a "salute...
Ivanka and Donald Trump

Ivanka says: I Could Be The Pretty President After G20 Power Play

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Speculation is rife in Washington D.C. that Ivanka Trump is pondering throwing her hat in the ring for the 2020 Presidential election circus.    After...

Judge increases Shkreli’s prison sentence by 5000%

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Disappointed with the complete undervaluing of his sentence, disgraced former Hedge Fund Manager Martin Shkreli has insisted his prison sentence up by 5000% up...

US Military confirm nuclear weapons controlled by simple massive orange knob

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Washington - The American military revealed one of its most closely guarded secrets this week.

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