What do you mean bride’s father pays? Asks Meghan Markle’s father before heart attack
It's been suggested that Meghan Markle's dad had a heart attack shortly after being told that the brides father should pay for his daughters...
Denmark offers to buy America from Russia
Mette Frederiksen, the Prime Minister of Denmark has reportedly expressed an interest in buying the Russian controlled territory of the United States of America.
Rich...
Southern Rail Timetable wins Man Booker Prize for fiction
The visionary author of Southern Rail's timetable, Bernard Jones, has been announced as the seventh winner of the Man Booker International Prize for fiction.
The...
Mugwump? That hoofwanking spangletwat needs to stop spafftrumpeting says Corbyn
Earlier this morning Boris Johnson MP called Jeremy Corbyn a 'Mutton-headed Mugwump'.
Full time buffoon and part time Foreign Secretary is known for his creative language...
Royal baby has already earned more than you
The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have left hospital after increasing the burden on the taxpayer for a third time.
The new prince, who was...
What can we say to Jane other than thank you?
A week ago today we started a campaign to buy a gift for a child who needs one this Christmas and the generosity we've...
Vladimir Putin wins Great Russian Bake-off after other contestants fall ill
Vladimir Putin has won the Russian version of Celebrity Great British Bake-off after all the other contestants sadly died in tragic but mysterious circumstances.
Mr...
Nazi slammed for organising Conservative Party themed stag do
A member of the Nazi Party at the centre of a controversy over a Conservative Party-themed stag do, is to step down as Obergruppenfuhrer...
Only 6 sleeps until poppy day, fascist children told
The children of Fascists have been conveying their excitement at there only being 6 more sleeps until poppy day.
7 year old Bill Board said,...
Slums angered after being compared to Stevenage by Lewis Hamilton
Lewis Hamilton has upset slums all over the world by comparing them to Stevenage.
The five-time Formula 1 world champion made the faux pas while...
Brian Cox to face Hague war crimes tribunal for 1997 hit Things Can Only...
Brian Cox is due to face a hearing at The Hague this week to face the charge that he is responsible for the deaths of more than one million Iraqis.
Impossible to see photo of Michael Gove and not say ‘Twat’ research proves
Researchers at Rochdale Community University have proven conclusively that is impossible to look at a photograph of Michael Gove with a muttering the word "twat".
Dead burglar to get state funeral
A Rochdale burglar who was killed whilst at work will receive a state funeral.
Councillor Tom Walsh said, "This man wasn't any old burgular. He...
Emergency services called after Bob Geldof disappears up his own arse
Two fire engines along with police and ambulance crews were called to the centre of Dublin after reports came in that a man had...
Daleks to replace ‘exterminate’ slogan with ‘strong and stable’ for 2049 re-election bid.
?Speaking from a neutral zone hyperdock, leader of the New Dalek Empire Theres- Sorry, Dalek Sec, said today that the bid for re-election in...
Conservative Christmas Party cancelled after failing to negotiate piss up deal with brewery
There was despair throughout the Conservative Party today after government officials announced that the annual Christmas do has been cancelled.
The news comes after many...
