Drunk man

Thomas the Trident Engine runaway incident: Fat controller was drunk

0
Rumours are circulating of a culture of abuse at the MOD, which spilled over in a final steaming argument between the fat controller and...
Nuclear explosion

“We’re looking forward to getting out” say nuclear weapons. 

0
Nuclear weapons all over the world are today looking forward to their upcoming launch as an opportunity to stretch their legs.  With launch codes about...
HMS Queen Elizabeth

Three billion seems reasonable for boat with hole in it, says Government responsible for...

0
The people responsible for negotiating the UK's exit from the European Union have confirmed that three billion pounds is a completely reasonable sum of...

Britain is a sitting duck claims defence chief

0
In the face of rumoured cuts to defence spending, Sir Nick Carter The Chief of the General Staff, today warned of Russia's 'eye-watering'...

ISIS win the war by leaving passports at home

0
America, Russia and the United Nations admitted defeat earlier today and proclaimed ISIS the winners of the global holy war. President elect Trump has already...

Nuclear holocaust averted as Southern Rail selected to deliver US missile attack

3
A spokesman for Southern Rail confirmed to the Rochdale Herald that in view of the anticipated two day delay the four minute warning given in advance of nuclear attacks would consequently be extended to 2,880 minutes.

Theresa May announces Leyland Daf to build next generation Brexit-fighter in Preston

28
Theresa May has announced that the UK will be leaving the Eurofighter Programme immediately. BAE Systems will be closing its Eurofighter factory in the...
Nuclear explosion

May denies knee-jerk policy reaction to Trident misfire

0
Sources at Number 10 today denied that there was any connection between elements of Theresa May's new industrial strategy and the colossal Trident balls-up...
Magic Circle

Magic Circle Trigger Terror Alert

0
Amid growing concern and fears for public safety, illusionist extremists The Magic Circle have been deemed a threat to security and democracy. The so-called magicians...

Missile strike in Syria; mass outpouring of grief from OneDirection fans

0
Following the disastrous US missile strike in Syria yesterday which claimed the lives of 57 civilians including 11 children, teenagers and young adults around...

French Declare Victory and Award Medals After Sniper Shoots Drinks Waiter

0
France has declared 3 days of National holidays after a "hero" sniper accidentally injured two people who were moving cases of Evian at an...

Trump storms out of NATO summit after Justin Trudeau appears in orange face

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Donald Trump has flounced off from a NATO summit after Justin Trudeau appeared to mock his appearance by appearing in 'orange face'. The incident took...

Navy admiral rejects job because he can spot a sinking ship when he sees...

0
The controversy over the U.S. National Security Advisor position continues as Trump’s most recent nominee for the position, retired vice admiral Robert S Harward, rejected the...
Entrenching Tool

Digging f#*#*#g foxholes is new black in today’s British Army

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The humble British Army entrenching tool, a short, squat, folding standard NATO issued 3-way shovel, pick and close combat weapon, has surged in popularity amongst...
Marine A

Marine A tired of catchphrase ‘shuffle off this mortal coil you c*nt’

0
The soldier formerly know as "Marine A" has finally been released following his time served for slaughtering an injured enemy combatant and recording his...

Lockheed Martin Trident Vote after party “off the hook”

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Details are sketchy at present but apparently the Lockheed Martin Trident Vote after party was absolutely "off the hook". We can only imagine what kind...

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