Magic Circle

Magic Circle Trigger Terror Alert

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Amid growing concern and fears for public safety, illusionist extremists The Magic Circle have been deemed a threat to security and democracy. The so-called magicians...
Marine A

Marine A tired of catchphrase ‘shuffle off this mortal coil you c*nt’

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The soldier formerly know as "Marine A" has finally been released following his time served for slaughtering an injured enemy combatant and recording his...

Trident satnav and sellotape cutbacks a mistake admits Michael Fallon

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Top honcho at the MOD, the right honourable Sir Michael Fallon MP, has admitted that cutbacks in the Trident programme may have contributed to...
Remote pointing at TV

GCHQ Samsung smart TV hack reveals threat to UK

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WikiLeaks revelations that GCHQ has hacked into Samsung smart TV sets to turn them into listening devices has revealed some fascinating facts impacting on...

Amber Rudd announces plan to ban envelopes

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Home Secretary Amber Rudd has announced that envelopes will be banned from the end of the month. The Home Office has also announced that all...

Theresa May to open new Ministry of Silly Bans

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Prime Minister Theresa May has announced a new Ministry of Silly Bans, to be set up immediately. The job of the new department will be to...

Nuclear holocaust averted as Southern Rail selected to deliver US missile attack

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A spokesman for Southern Rail confirmed to the Rochdale Herald that in view of the anticipated two day delay the four minute warning given in advance of nuclear attacks would consequently be extended to 2,880 minutes.

People confused over what Testing is for

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Journalists and other easily baffled people were today up in arms that a thing being tested didn't work as planned. Idiots the country over were...
Dominic Raab

Dominic Raab announces sanctions on Isle of Aran

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Foreign Secretary, Dominic Raab has announced sanctions on the Isle of Aran. Mr Raaab announced the sanctions during a visit to Blackpool Tower in...

Nuclear war could be a massive boost for post Brexit British industry

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A globally devastating nuclear war could prove to be a massive boost for post Brexit British industry, the UK's Secretary of State for International...

Britain is a sitting duck claims defence chief

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In the face of rumoured cuts to defence spending, Sir Nick Carter The Chief of the General Staff, today warned of Russia's 'eye-watering'...

Fears Thames Beluga whale is a Russian spy

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There are fears a Beluga Whale spotted swimming in the River Thames may be a Russian spy. The whale was spotted earlier this week...
Rochdale-missile-launch.jpg

Rochdale’s secret Nuclear Past REVEALED

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Shock revelations have shaken Rochdale to its very core as documents from the cold war have been declassified, revealing that the 7 sisters were...

Christmas moved to November 12th

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Theresa May's government yesterday announced plans to move Christmas forward this year to November the 12th, just in case we don't all reach December. The...
HMS Queen Elizabeth

Three billion seems reasonable for boat with hole in it, says Government responsible for...

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The people responsible for negotiating the UK's exit from the European Union have confirmed that three billion pounds is a completely reasonable sum of...

British Firewall totally not about censorship and spying, says head of spying and censorship...

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GCHQ, the British spy agency that is regularly exposed for bugging our phones and nicking our online data to spy on us, has announced...

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