Magic Circle Trigger Terror Alert
Amid growing concern and fears for public safety, illusionist extremists The Magic Circle have been deemed a threat to security and democracy.
The so-called magicians...
“We’re looking forward to getting out” say nuclear weapons.
Nuclear weapons all over the world are today looking forward to their upcoming launch as an opportunity to stretch their legs.
With launch codes about...
Nuclear holocaust averted as Southern Rail selected to deliver US missile attack
A spokesman for Southern Rail confirmed to the Rochdale Herald that in view of the anticipated two day delay the four minute warning given in advance of nuclear attacks would consequently be extended to 2,880 minutes.
When is an aircraft carrier just a carrier?
Britain's new aircraft carrier, HMS Queen Elizabeth, was commissioned today in Portsmouth.
The new carrier is at the cutting edge of British warship design and...
Trident satnav and sellotape cutbacks a mistake admits Michael Fallon
Top honcho at the MOD, the right honourable Sir Michael Fallon MP, has admitted that cutbacks in the Trident programme may have contributed to...
People confused over what Testing is for
Journalists and other easily baffled people were today up in arms that a thing being tested didn't work as planned.
Idiots the country over were...
Lockheed Martin Trident Vote after party “off the hook”
Details are sketchy at present but apparently the Lockheed Martin Trident Vote after party was absolutely "off the hook".
We can only imagine what kind...
Three billion seems reasonable for boat with hole in it, says Government responsible for...
The people responsible for negotiating the UK's exit from the European Union have confirmed that three billion pounds is a completely reasonable sum of...
Army called in to Burnley find ‘riot’ just sale at Farmfoods
The British Army was deployed in Burnley town centre earlier today to quell civil unrest apparently taking place in the city's popular shopping district.
Army...
Navy admiral rejects job because he can spot a sinking ship when he sees...
The controversy over the U.S. National Security Advisor position continues as Trump’s most recent nominee for the position, retired vice admiral Robert S Harward, rejected the...
Christmas moved to November 12th
Theresa May's government yesterday announced plans to move Christmas forward this year to November the 12th, just in case we don't all reach December.
The...
GCHQ Samsung smart TV hack reveals threat to UK
WikiLeaks revelations that GCHQ has hacked into Samsung smart TV sets to turn them into listening devices has revealed some fascinating facts impacting on...
Chewing gum booms as government invests £100 billion in wrong ‘Trident.’
An administrative error has seen government funding to renew British nuclear armaments sent to the wrong ‘Trident.’
Earlier today £100 billion was electronically transferred to...
Theresa May to open new Ministry of Silly Bans
Prime Minister Theresa May has announced a new Ministry of Silly Bans, to be set up immediately.
The job of the new department will be to...
Nuclear war could be a massive boost for post Brexit British industry
A globally devastating nuclear war could prove to be a massive boost for post Brexit British industry, the UK's Secretary of State for International...
Marines B, C, D, E, F & G escape court martial by not forgetfully...
Today Marine B was quietly reflecting on the time he shot a badly wounded prisoner of war in Helmand.
No one else ever heard about...
