Amber Rudd announces plan to ban envelopes

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Home Secretary Amber Rudd has announced that envelopes will be banned from the end of the month. The Home Office has also announced that all...

When is an aircraft carrier just a carrier?

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Britain's new aircraft carrier, HMS Queen Elizabeth, was commissioned today in Portsmouth. The new carrier is at the cutting edge of British warship design and...

Missile strike in Syria; mass outpouring of grief from OneDirection fans

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Following the disastrous US missile strike in Syria yesterday which claimed the lives of 57 civilians including 11 children, teenagers and young adults around...

Dead whale found in Thames was Russian spy

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The Government have announced that a whale that has been found dead beside the River Thames was a Russian spy. The whale was found beside...

Trump storms out of NATO summit after Justin Trudeau appears in orange face

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Donald Trump has flounced off from a NATO summit after Justin Trudeau appeared to mock his appearance by appearing in 'orange face'. The incident took...

Arms manufacturers to commemorate the fallen dead

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Since 1919, on the second Sunday of November, otherwise known as Remembrance Sunday, a two minute silence has been observed at 11am at war...

Theresa May announces Leyland Daf to build next generation Brexit-fighter in Preston

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Theresa May has announced that the UK will be leaving the Eurofighter Programme immediately. BAE Systems will be closing its Eurofighter factory in the...

ISIS win the war by leaving passports at home

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America, Russia and the United Nations admitted defeat earlier today and proclaimed ISIS the winners of the global holy war. President elect Trump has already...

People confused over what Testing is for

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Journalists and other easily baffled people were today up in arms that a thing being tested didn't work as planned. Idiots the country over were...

Fears Thames Beluga whale is a Russian spy

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There are fears a Beluga Whale spotted swimming in the River Thames may be a Russian spy. The whale was spotted earlier this week...
Magic Circle

Magic Circle Trigger Terror Alert

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Amid growing concern and fears for public safety, illusionist extremists The Magic Circle have been deemed a threat to security and democracy. The so-called magicians...

Britain is a sitting duck claims defence chief

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In the face of rumoured cuts to defence spending, Sir Nick Carter The Chief of the General Staff, today warned of Russia's 'eye-watering'...

Theresa May to open new Ministry of Silly Bans

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Prime Minister Theresa May has announced a new Ministry of Silly Bans, to be set up immediately. The job of the new department will be to...

Picture yourself in their shoes

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A picture of Omran Daqneesh, the five year old boy who was pulled from the rubble that used to be his home in Aleppo,...
Marine A

Marine A tired of catchphrase ‘shuffle off this mortal coil you c*nt’

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The soldier formerly know as "Marine A" has finally been released following his time served for slaughtering an injured enemy combatant and recording his...
Drunk man

Thomas the Trident Engine runaway incident: Fat controller was drunk

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Rumours are circulating of a culture of abuse at the MOD, which spilled over in a final steaming argument between the fat controller and...

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