There are fears a Beluga Whale spotted swimming in the River Thames may be a Russian spy. The whale was spotted earlier this week and it was thought it may be lost but there are fears within the intelligence community that it was actually spying.

MI6 insider Brooke Bond told us, “The whale normally lives in the Arctic so it was initially thought it may have got lost. But, we’ve been tracking its movements and we think there is a strong chance it was actually spying on the Government.”

Brooke went on, “We know that the Russian Government has been experimenting with Beluga whales. Their large skulls allow lots of sophisticated sonar equipment to be placed into their heads. They then sit off the coast or in rivers listening to conversations going on onshore. They’ll then transmit the details back to Moscow.”

Our source went on to reveal that the whale probably came from a naval base in Murmansk. “It’s pretty much in the Arctic up there so there are loads of whales up there. The Russian’s have been training these whales for a while.”

Russia isn’t the first nation to utilize sea mammals. It’s alleged that the Israeli military used specially trained whales to spy on PLO operatives in Lebanon and Syria.

It’s understood that the Government have given dispatched the Royal Navy’s elite SDS unit to track the whale. The group comprises of 35 specially trained dolphins will hunt down the whale and will attack it with beach balls.

Our MI6 insider told us, “Make no mistake, this time next week we’ll be dining on whale meat.”

Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.