Christmas moved to November 12th
Theresa May's government yesterday announced plans to move Christmas forward this year to November the 12th, just in case we don't all reach December.
The...
Nuclear holocaust averted as Southern Rail selected to deliver US missile attack
A spokesman for Southern Rail confirmed to the Rochdale Herald that in view of the anticipated two day delay the four minute warning given in advance of nuclear attacks would consequently be extended to 2,880 minutes.
Nuttall to captain UK Olympic waterboarding team
UKIP party leader, former archbishop of Canterbury, Duke of Edinburgh in Waiting and Huddersfield Town striker, Paul Nuttall has been named as...
Theresa May announces Leyland Daf to build next generation Brexit-fighter in Preston
Theresa May has announced that the UK will be leaving the Eurofighter Programme immediately. BAE Systems will be closing its Eurofighter factory in the...
Navy admiral rejects job because he can spot a sinking ship when he sees...
The controversy over the U.S. National Security Advisor position continues as Trump’s most recent nominee for the position, retired vice admiral Robert S Harward, rejected the...
People confused over what Testing is for
Journalists and other easily baffled people were today up in arms that a thing being tested didn't work as planned.
Idiots the country over were...
Thomas the Trident Engine runaway incident: Fat controller was drunk
Rumours are circulating of a culture of abuse at the MOD, which spilled over in a final steaming argument between the fat controller and...
Chinese cardboard rocket manufacturers report bumper earnings following Korean military parades
Manufacturers of gigantic cardboard rockets and inflatable tanks have reported record profits for April following Kim Jong Un's massive display of military force.
"It's been...
Fears Thames Beluga whale is a Russian spy
There are fears a Beluga Whale spotted swimming in the River Thames may be a Russian spy. The whale was spotted earlier this week...
British Firewall totally not about censorship and spying, says head of spying and censorship...
GCHQ, the British spy agency that is regularly exposed for bugging our phones and nicking our online data to spy on us, has announced...
Arms manufacturers to commemorate the fallen dead
Since 1919, on the second Sunday of November, otherwise known as Remembrance Sunday, a two minute silence has been observed at 11am at war...
French Declare Victory and Award Medals After Sniper Shoots Drinks Waiter
France has declared 3 days of National holidays after a "hero" sniper accidentally injured two people who were moving cases of Evian at an...
GCHQ Samsung smart TV hack reveals threat to UK
WikiLeaks revelations that GCHQ has hacked into Samsung smart TV sets to turn them into listening devices has revealed some fascinating facts impacting on...
“We’re looking forward to getting out” say nuclear weapons.
Nuclear weapons all over the world are today looking forward to their upcoming launch as an opportunity to stretch their legs.
With launch codes about...
Lockheed Martin Trident Vote after party “off the hook”
Details are sketchy at present but apparently the Lockheed Martin Trident Vote after party was absolutely "off the hook".
We can only imagine what kind...
Chewing gum booms as government invests £100 billion in wrong ‘Trident.’
An administrative error has seen government funding to renew British nuclear armaments sent to the wrong ‘Trident.’
Earlier today £100 billion was electronically transferred to...
