People confused over what Testing is for
Journalists and other easily baffled people were today up in arms that a thing being tested didn't work as planned.
Idiots the country over were...
ISIS win the war by leaving passports at home
America, Russia and the United Nations admitted defeat earlier today and proclaimed ISIS the winners of the global holy war.
President elect Trump has already...
“We’re looking forward to getting out” say nuclear weapons.
Nuclear weapons all over the world are today looking forward to their upcoming launch as an opportunity to stretch their legs.
With launch codes about...
French Declare Victory and Award Medals After Sniper Shoots Drinks Waiter
France has declared 3 days of National holidays after a "hero" sniper accidentally injured two people who were moving cases of Evian at an...
Picture yourself in their shoes
A picture of Omran Daqneesh, the five year old boy who was pulled from the rubble that used to be his home in Aleppo,...
Trump storms out of NATO summit after Justin Trudeau appears in orange face
Donald Trump has flounced off from a NATO summit after Justin Trudeau appeared to mock his appearance by appearing in 'orange face'.
The incident took...
Christmas moved to November 12th
Theresa May's government yesterday announced plans to move Christmas forward this year to November the 12th, just in case we don't all reach December.
The...
Chewing gum booms as government invests £100 billion in wrong ‘Trident.’
An administrative error has seen government funding to renew British nuclear armaments sent to the wrong ‘Trident.’
Earlier today £100 billion was electronically transferred to...
Britain is a sitting duck claims defence chief
In the face of rumoured cuts to defence spending, Sir Nick Carter The Chief of the General Staff, today warned of Russia's 'eye-watering'...
Magic Circle Trigger Terror Alert
Amid growing concern and fears for public safety, illusionist extremists The Magic Circle have been deemed a threat to security and democracy.
The so-called magicians...
Marine A tired of catchphrase ‘shuffle off this mortal coil you c*nt’
The soldier formerly know as "Marine A" has finally been released following his time served for slaughtering an injured enemy combatant and recording his...
Three billion seems reasonable for boat with hole in it, says Government responsible for...
The people responsible for negotiating the UK's exit from the European Union have confirmed that three billion pounds is a completely reasonable sum of...
Vexatious Claims: A Rochdale Herald Guide
The government says it wants to dodge certain bits of the European Convention On Human Rights because of an "Industry of false and vexatious...
Army called in to Burnley find ‘riot’ just sale at Farmfoods
The British Army was deployed in Burnley town centre earlier today to quell civil unrest apparently taking place in the city's popular shopping district.
Army...
Theresa May to open new Ministry of Silly Bans
Prime Minister Theresa May has announced a new Ministry of Silly Bans, to be set up immediately.
The job of the new department will be to...
Rochdale’s secret Nuclear Past REVEALED
Shock revelations have shaken Rochdale to its very core as documents from the cold war have been declassified, revealing that the 7 sisters were...
