May denies knee-jerk policy reaction to Trident misfire
Sources at Number 10 today denied that there was any connection between elements of Theresa May's new industrial strategy and the colossal Trident balls-up...
Fears Thames Beluga whale is a Russian spy
There are fears a Beluga Whale spotted swimming in the River Thames may be a Russian spy. The whale was spotted earlier this week...
Magic Circle Trigger Terror Alert
Amid growing concern and fears for public safety, illusionist extremists The Magic Circle have been deemed a threat to security and democracy.
The so-called magicians...
Britain is a sitting duck claims defence chief
In the face of rumoured cuts to defence spending, Sir Nick Carter The Chief of the General Staff, today warned of Russia's 'eye-watering'...
Thomas the Trident Engine runaway incident: Fat controller was drunk
Rumours are circulating of a culture of abuse at the MOD, which spilled over in a final steaming argument between the fat controller and...
Chewing gum booms as government invests £100 billion in wrong ‘Trident.’
An administrative error has seen government funding to renew British nuclear armaments sent to the wrong ‘Trident.’
Earlier today £100 billion was electronically transferred to...
Marine A tired of catchphrase ‘shuffle off this mortal coil you c*nt’
The soldier formerly know as "Marine A" has finally been released following his time served for slaughtering an injured enemy combatant and recording his...
Christmas moved to November 12th
Theresa May's government yesterday announced plans to move Christmas forward this year to November the 12th, just in case we don't all reach December.
The...
Arms manufacturers to commemorate the fallen dead
Since 1919, on the second Sunday of November, otherwise known as Remembrance Sunday, a two minute silence has been observed at 11am at war...
Army called in to Burnley find ‘riot’ just sale at Farmfoods
The British Army was deployed in Burnley town centre earlier today to quell civil unrest apparently taking place in the city's popular shopping district.
Army...
British Firewall totally not about censorship and spying, says head of spying and censorship...
GCHQ, the British spy agency that is regularly exposed for bugging our phones and nicking our online data to spy on us, has announced...
Trump storms out of NATO summit after Justin Trudeau appears in orange face
Donald Trump has flounced off from a NATO summit after Justin Trudeau appeared to mock his appearance by appearing in 'orange face'.
The incident took...
Theresa May announces Leyland Daf to build next generation Brexit-fighter in Preston
Theresa May has announced that the UK will be leaving the Eurofighter Programme immediately. BAE Systems will be closing its Eurofighter factory in the...
French Declare Victory and Award Medals After Sniper Shoots Drinks Waiter
France has declared 3 days of National holidays after a "hero" sniper accidentally injured two people who were moving cases of Evian at an...
When is an aircraft carrier just a carrier?
Britain's new aircraft carrier, HMS Queen Elizabeth, was commissioned today in Portsmouth.
The new carrier is at the cutting edge of British warship design and...
Three billion seems reasonable for boat with hole in it, says Government responsible for...
The people responsible for negotiating the UK's exit from the European Union have confirmed that three billion pounds is a completely reasonable sum of...
