Nuclear holocaust averted as Southern Rail selected to deliver US missile attack
A spokesman for Southern Rail confirmed to the Rochdale Herald that in view of the anticipated two day delay the four minute warning given in advance of nuclear attacks would consequently be extended to 2,880 minutes.
Nuttall to captain UK Olympic waterboarding team
UKIP party leader, former archbishop of Canterbury, Duke of Edinburgh in Waiting and Huddersfield Town striker, Paul Nuttall has been named as...
ISIS win the war by leaving passports at home
America, Russia and the United Nations admitted defeat earlier today and proclaimed ISIS the winners of the global holy war.
President elect Trump has already...
Trident Subs: Gotta catch ’em all
Speaking at the Nato summit in Warsaw this week, David Cameron has hinted that almost £16bn ear-marked for the renewal of the Trident nuclear...
Chewing gum booms as government invests £100 billion in wrong ‘Trident.’
An administrative error has seen government funding to renew British nuclear armaments sent to the wrong ‘Trident.’
Earlier today £100 billion was electronically transferred to...
“We’re looking forward to getting out” say nuclear weapons.
Nuclear weapons all over the world are today looking forward to their upcoming launch as an opportunity to stretch their legs.
With launch codes about...
Trump storms out of NATO summit after Justin Trudeau appears in orange face
Donald Trump has flounced off from a NATO summit after Justin Trudeau appeared to mock his appearance by appearing in 'orange face'.
The incident took...
Dominic Raab announces sanctions on Isle of Aran
Foreign Secretary, Dominic Raab has announced sanctions on the Isle of Aran. Mr Raaab announced the sanctions during a visit to Blackpool Tower in...
Vexatious Claims: A Rochdale Herald Guide
The government says it wants to dodge certain bits of the European Convention On Human Rights because of an "Industry of false and vexatious...
Dead whale found in Thames was Russian spy
The Government have announced that a whale that has been found dead beside the River Thames was a Russian spy.
The whale was found beside...
Magic Circle Trigger Terror Alert
Amid growing concern and fears for public safety, illusionist extremists The Magic Circle have been deemed a threat to security and democracy.
The so-called magicians...
Revealed: GCHQ Toaster Hack Turns Leavers Into Remainers…
An exclusive Herald investigation has revealed the extent to which the government's monitoring agency GCHQ can manipulate public opinion through the hacking of common...
Rochdale’s secret Nuclear Past REVEALED
Shock revelations have shaken Rochdale to its very core as documents from the cold war have been declassified, revealing that the 7 sisters were...
Marine A tired of catchphrase ‘shuffle off this mortal coil you c*nt’
The soldier formerly know as "Marine A" has finally been released following his time served for slaughtering an injured enemy combatant and recording his...
Trident satnav and sellotape cutbacks a mistake admits Michael Fallon
Top honcho at the MOD, the right honourable Sir Michael Fallon MP, has admitted that cutbacks in the Trident programme may have contributed to...
Digging f#*#*#g foxholes is new black in today’s British Army
The humble British Army entrenching tool, a short, squat, folding standard NATO issued 3-way shovel, pick and close combat weapon, has surged in popularity amongst...
