Turning Trump off and on again doesn’t seem to have done any good

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The White House Head of IT has expressed his heightened concern that the Presidency could be heading for a critical outage. Head of IT Maurice...

NEWSFLASH – Trump withdraws from Election

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On the eve of the US Presidential Election Donald Trump has dramatically pulled out of the running. Don Trump, 58 and owner of Streamline Taxis...

Donald Trump believes Nazi flags are adverts for fidget spinners

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The President went on to suggest North Korea would be much safer if it followed the example of America and gave its citizens toys to play with and flags to wave like the patriots in Charlottesville yesterday.
Farage in Russian hat

Nigel farage to accept Russian Government lifetime achievement award in person

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Nigel Farage MP (just kidding) is alleged to be thrilled at being awarded the Russian Government's lifetime achievement award. Zoya Feedosev, Russian envoy to...
Trump

Trump allowed to leave Whitehouse on his own for first time

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President Trump has arrived in Saudi Arabia on the first leg of his International tour. Before landing Mr Trump told the Herald, "We have much in...

President Trump to wear eclipse glasses when viewing the news to protect his thin...

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It was announced today via Twitter that President Trump will now wear eclipse glasses when viewing the news in order to protect his thin...

Daily Mail Editor to pay Melania Trump $150m with no prospect of Happy Ending

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The Editor of The Daily Mail was said to be gutted at the prospect of having to pay Melania Trump millions of dollars for...

US Military confirm nuclear weapons controlled by simple massive orange knob

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Washington - The American military revealed one of its most closely guarded secrets this week.

Trump’s Wall to be Made Out of Thoughts and Prayers

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The latest twist in the ongoing farcical shitshow that is the US President's attempt to build an completely pointless wall simply because he said...
Donald Trump

All options on table including surprise missile attack on Tuesday, Trump tells Syria on...

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Actual real-life president of the United States of America Donald Trump has tweeted that Russia and Syria should get smart and expect a surprise...
Donald Trump

Trump enlists Gary Glitter to play inauguration

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There are reports that Donald Trump is struggling to find top acts to perform or present at his inaugural event. The demagogue was able to...
Trump Golf

Scientists confirm Donald Trump’s ego and waistline are inflating at an alarming rate

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Scientists have today confirmed that, President of the United States, Donald Trump is inflating at an alarming rate. On his Inauguration Day on 20th...

Robert E Lee statue replaced by bronze of obese man in pickup truck holding...

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The move comes in order to calm social tensions enraged over the weekend when the savage alt-left attacked a group of peaceful demonstrators merely having a walk with some torches and flags to highlight the importance of freedom of speech.

US Professor Seeks European Expertise to Erase 5 Years History from Text Books

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The Head of History Faculty at Harvard University is to tour European institutions to discover the best ways to whitewash 5 years of history...

Americans horrified to learn what the word ‘amendment’ means

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As hillbillies, rednecks and evangelical Christian right wing crackpots continue to celebrate the last thrashings of America's hold on reality with their ongoing support...

National Association of C#nts sue Florida for asking murderers to wait a bit to...

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The National Association of Massive Cunts filed a lawsuit in federal court Friday in an attempt to block a Florida law to make murderous...

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