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Modern Day Presidential latest euphemism for complete and utter numpty, say linguists

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As Humpty Dumpty said, "When I use a word, it means whatever I want it to mean." Clearly in a world of self-reductible horseshit,...
International Thundercunt

Trump claims their is good people on both sides of grammar nazi debate

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President Trump has weighed into the grammer nazi debate by claiming their is good people on both sides. Discussions and arguments about correct use of...

Scotch and Revolver sales jump 30,000% during Trump’s inaugural speech

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Scotch Whiskey and revolver salesman all over the world are in buoyant mood this afternoon after a huge windfall sales extravaganza during President Trump's inaugural address.

Obama speech on Trump: untwist your knickers, it’ll be alright

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Soon to be former-president, Barrack "Bazzer" Obama has said that nobody ever said that democracy was supposed to be easy and "it's harder than...

Rochdale Herald boycotts future White House coverage

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In a shock announcement, the Founding Editor of this esteemed organ has declared it will be withdrawing from future coverage of the current White House...

Trump gives world a ‘pearl necklace’ as withdrawal does not stop emissions

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President Donald J. Trump will keep his promise not to come in the world’s mouth and insisted he would squirt his emissions onto the...
Donald Trump

Trump’s American Dream – 25 Million to Leave the Country

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Donald J. Trump unveiled a pledge on Thursday to create 25 million jobs over the next decade, but experts are arguing whether they strictly...

Trump says he didn’t sexually assault 3.52 billion other women

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Bewigged bouffant buffoon, Donald J. Trump, an actual potential president, made the claim at his latest rally. The tiny handed eater of souls came under...

Madame Tussauds new Trump wax work backs out of inauguration

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Madame Tussauds have declined to exhibit their new Trump wax work at the impending inauguration on Friday. Simon Wick, a spokesman for Tussauds said; "Its nothing...
Mike Pence

Jesus definitely said ‘Suffer the little children to come unto me, so I can...

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The US Vice President, Mike Pence, has told reporters that the Trump administration's policy of keeping child migrants in cages is definitely consistent with the...

America To Be Renamed Trumptopia

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Donald Trump has announced a new step in his plan to make America great again - he's renaming it after himself. In a press conference,...
Stable Genius

White House cleaners resign over ‘I’m a stable genius’ written in sh*t on Oval...

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Washington - Reports are coming in today that the White House domestic staff who are responsible for cleaning the Oval Office have resigned over...

National Association of C#nts sue Florida for asking murderers to wait a bit to...

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The National Association of Massive Cunts filed a lawsuit in federal court Friday in an attempt to block a Florida law to make murderous...
Trump

Trump restores American faith in Bush

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Donald Trump has today been credited with restoring America's faith in Bush. Dwayne Dwight of Alabama told the Herald "I was big into Bush in...
Putin Appraisal

Putin gives Trump “requires improvement” rating during annual appraisal meeting

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Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin have sought to deny allegations that President Trump has been awarded a, "requires improvement" rating during his first one...
A delighted Sun Reader

Sun says Trump not nonce as he checks girls teeth before ‘dating’ 

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Sun Readers thrilled Donald Trump acquitted of raping 13 year old after convincing judge she "had teeth of 21 year old."

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