Conspiracy theorists concerned nobody might be in charge after all

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American conspiracy theorists heads are exploding at an alarming rate as the two main presidential candidates get more and more terrible. "Up until yesterday I was...

Donald Trump arrested for vandalism after smashing own star

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News broke a short while ago that Donald Trump's celebrity star had been smashed to bits on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. A Mexican man...

US WWII veterans arrested after Trump bans anti-fascists

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In extraordinary scenes the US Secret Service have rounded up and imprisoned several second world war veterans after Donald Trump announced the banning of...

David Brent to sing Equality Street at Trump Inauguration

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Following the shock withdrawal of Bruce Springsteen tribute band the B-Street Band from the Trump Inauguration David Brent is thrilled to announce that his band Foregone Conclusion have agreed terms to perform.

US Closes Wardrobe Border Travel Bans on Narnians and Radical Followers of Aslan

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President Donald Trump last night signed an Executive Order immediately banning "followers of Aslan" from entering the US.  This will instantly affect talking beavers, centaurs...
Donald Trump female

Mayor of New Orleans accidentally summons Donald Trump after saying ‘Hurricane’ five times

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Mitch Landrieu, the Mayor of New Orleans has told has told us that he inadvertently summoned Donald Trump to New Orleans. The Mayor said, "I...

Trump’s travel ban now badge of merit as countries begin adding themselves voluntarily

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President Donald Trump, perhaps the funniest American president since the last republican one, has hailed the success of his travel ban after many countries...

Gun sales rise 300% ahead of Trump Inauguration

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American gun sales have enjoyed a steep rise in the days leading up to the President elect's inauguration. "It's almost 200% more than when Bush...
Mar a Lago

Donald Trump moves Mar a Lago to Tampa Bay for insurance purposes

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Donald Trump has applied to have the address of his Mar-a-Lago changed from Palm Beach to Tampa Bay, ahead of the arrival of Hurricane...

National holiday declared as USA goes 6 days without mass shooting

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This is the closest to a full week that the US has gone without a mass shooting since 'The Great Week of Peace' in...

Americans relieved to learn shooter was atheist

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Concerned Americans were today relieved to hear that the Texas shooting was carried out by a human rights supporting atheist. Initially, US citizens were horrified...

Self-proclaimed ‘bestest dealmaker’ fails to do deal with Bruce Springsteen cover band

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Idiots across America who voted for Trump because he told them he was really good at doing deals are surprised by the news he hasn't been able to do a deal with a Bruce Springsteen tribute band.
trump salute

Donald Trump autobiography ‘My Struggle’ set for December release

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A spokesman for Donald Trump has announced that the eagerly anticipated Trump autobiography is set for release in early December just in time for...

All guns to be armed with guns

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In the wake of the latest mass shooting of innocent people to take place on U.S. soil, the National Rifle Association has issued a...

Racist Republicans deny that their voting districts are racist

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Republicans in North Carolina deny that their voting districts were drawn up based on race. After the Supreme Court ruled 5-3 that the boundaries were...

Scotch and Revolver sales jump 30,000% during Trump’s inaugural speech

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Scotch Whiskey and revolver salesman all over the world are in buoyant mood this afternoon after a huge windfall sales extravaganza during President Trump's inaugural address.

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