Scandal as Trump attempts to circumvent physical laws

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In his bid to become master of the universe, Donald Trump has postulated a new set of axioms about the physical universe as we...

Trump campaign an elaborate game of  ‘Electoral Chicken’

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Emails leaked from Donald Trump's campaign office over the weekend appear to show that the follically absurd pseudo-politician is engaged in a mass game...
White House

Playboy bunnies to be re-homed at The Whitehouse

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After the sad passing of millionaire feminist Hugh (the Hef) Hefner the dilemma of what to do with the dozens of now ownerless and...

Donald Trump to lift Muslim ban ‘with immediate effect’ after learning of Manchester protests

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The new President's controversial Muslim ban has caused outrage across the globe and chaos in airports all across the US. Last night thousands of protesters...

Mike Pence attends Broadway musical by mistake

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Vice-President elect Mike Pence was roundly booed after he attended a performance of Broadway musical ‘Hamilton’ entirely by accident.

Oscar winning director Jonathan Demme dies aged 73

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Oscar winning director Jonathan Demme has died aged 73. Filmmaker Jonathan Demme, whose Oscar-winning thriller "The Silence of the Lambs" terrified audiences and introduced...

NEWSFLASH – Trump withdraws from Election

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On the eve of the US Presidential Election Donald Trump has dramatically pulled out of the running. Don Trump, 58 and owner of Streamline Taxis...
Golden sceptre

Trump orders Fabergé selfie-stick for inauguration

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In preparation for his inauguration ceremony, President elect Trump has commissioned Fabergé, the esteemed and historic jewellery makers to the Russian emperors, to craft...
Donald Genius Trump

Trump awards Trump Imaginary Medal of Honor for imaginary heroics

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President of the actually terrific US, Donald Trump, is to reward his own bravery with a special medal, the Purple Cheeseburger, after his courage...
Trump

Donald Trump fails to mention the length of his penis in speech defending western...

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Donald Trump left an eager crowd shocked in Poland today when he failed to mention the length of his schlong once during a rousing...
Donald Trump

Germany to face sanctions for failing to help US during D-Day landings

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Donald Trump has today announced a huge package of far reaching sanctions against Germany after discovering that Germany failed to help the US during...

OJ Simpson appointed White House press secretary

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Tongues are wagging in Washington today over what seems too convenient for coincidence as OJ Simpson is rumoured about to be appointed as Sean...
Trump Baby

Trump eats baby in front of mother during rally

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Donald Trump hit a new low today by disembowelling a newborn baby and eating her still beating heart like an apple after she interrupted...

Fat People Rejoice as America Turns Into a Parody of Itself

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Scenes of wild jubilation, gunfire and a surfeit of 'Go Large Burgers with Extra Fries' greeted the overnight transformation of the United States of...

National holiday declared as USA goes 6 days without mass shooting

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This is the closest to a full week that the US has gone without a mass shooting since 'The Great Week of Peace' in...
Trump Air Force one

Donald Trump arrives in Germany and says ‘Ich bin ein Binliner’ Berlin agrees

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President Donald Trump landed in Germany Sunday morning to kick off the first leg of his 12-day trip to Europe. Trump held a surprise press...

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