Trump’s presidency is ‘metaphorical, not literal’, says Spicer
Following unsubstantiated wiretapping allegations, president Trump’s press secretary, Sean Spicer, has argued that Trump is the metaphorical president and leader of the free world,...
Trump tells California, Cut down all the trees to prevent future forest fires
POTATUS has announced that if all the trees in California were cut down then there would be no forest fires.
POTATUS got the idea after...
Concern mounts that US teachers are stockpiling weapons of maths instruction
Deliverable weapons of maths instruction in the hands of a school or tuition network, or the two working together constitutes as grave a threat...
NRA claims that fewer elephants would be shot by hunters if more of them...
The National Rifle Association has today put out a statement claiming that fewer African elephants would fall victim to big game hunters if they...
Trump eats baby in front of mother during rally
Donald Trump hit a new low today by disembowelling a newborn baby and eating her still beating heart like an apple after she interrupted...
Gun reform fever sweeps America after social media backing for ELC mandatory insurance bill
After millions of tweets by gun lobbyists, alt righters and other winners at life, Congress has responded with draft gun reform proposals.
Some...
Trump says IKEA table he ordered arrived ‘pre-blown up’
President Donald J Trump is convinced that ‘something bigly bad’ has gone down in Sweden, after a dining table he ordered from IKEA arrived...
Giuliani wins Black Man of the Year
Raving Republican Trump-nugget and ex New York mayor, Rudy Giuliani, was voted Black Man of the Year today after it turned...
Trump’s Wall to be Made Out of Thoughts and Prayers
The latest twist in the ongoing farcical shitshow that is the US President's attempt to build an completely pointless wall simply because he said...
Too soon since last mass shooting and not long enough before next one to...
In the wake of the latest mass shooting in a bar in Ohio that has claimed the lives of at least 9 people The White...
President Trump has hopes dashed each time he hears ‘oui oui’ during French visit
Donald Trump is experiencing an emotional rollercoaster during his ongoing French visit because each time he hears a French woman say ‘oui oui’ he...
Trump to visit Texas just as soon as the golf courses have been reopened
Donald Trump has announced he intends to visit areas of Texas affected by flooding just as soon as the cleaning operation on Texan golf...
I don’t make mistakes says man who accidentally got himself elected President
A giant orange man child who accidentally got himself elected President of the United States during a publicity stunt for his gaudy golf course business announced live on television that he doesn't make mistakes, immediately before making a mistake.
Trump to celebrate Father’s Day by bathing in the tears of abducted child immigrants
US President Donald Trump is to celebrate his second Father's Day in the White House by having a bath filled with the tears of...
Nuclear Football replaced with state of the art 1979 Speak and Spell
The Secret Service and senior members of the National Security Council have taken drastic steps to toughen US Nuclear launch protocols during Donald Trump's presidency by replacing the Nuclear Football with 1979 Speak and Spell.
Sean Spicer announces Foetuses included in Trump Travel Ban
Within the last hour the White House has announced plans to extend its controversial travel ban to unborn foetuses.
Trump’s Press Secretary, Sean Spicer, confirmed that the...
