Doctors

Donald Trump Is Disappearing Up His Own Arse

2
American scientists confirmed last night that US President, Donald Trump, is close to completely disappearing up his own arse. Professor Steven Sigmoid...

Trump’s travel ban now badge of merit as countries begin adding themselves voluntarily

1
President Donald Trump, perhaps the funniest American president since the last republican one, has hailed the success of his travel ban after many countries...
Beynonce Knowles

We need buoyancy aids not Beyonce aid, say Houston flood victims

2
Residents of Houston were bemused by an offer from pop star Beyonce offering help for those affected by the recent flooding. “We asked for buoyancy...

Clinton Email Cache Found in Historic Exeter Hotel

0
The American election process was thrown into confusion yesterday when the FBI moved into the Royal Clarence Hotel, Exeter, in search of a hidden...
Soldier

U.S. military buys Viagra after being told troops need to “be hard”

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It has emerged this week that the U.S. military spend approximately £63 million annually on the popular medication which aids erectile dysfunction. This baffling...
Trump

Trump restores American faith in Bush

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Donald Trump has today been credited with restoring America's faith in Bush. Dwayne Dwight of Alabama told the Herald "I was big into Bush in...

Trump says crying widow knew what she was getting into when she answered phone

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President Donald Trump has responded to criticism that he mishandled a phone call with the grieving widow of an American serviceman killed in an...

Trump says IKEA table he ordered arrived ‘pre-blown up’

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President Donald J Trump is convinced that ‘something bigly bad’ has gone down in Sweden, after a dining table he ordered from IKEA arrived...

NASA announce Kellyanne Conway is not of this world

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NASA has announced it will hold a press conference later this week to reveal new discoveries "of significant importance, "beyond our solar system". The agency...
Donald Trump Wig

‘News media so fake’ says perma-tanned, toupee-wearing septuagenarian

21
The world's favourite orange leader has been ranting about his pet hate once again. The issue of so-called “Fake news” is now well within...

Melania Trump is nothing like Eva Braun, she didn’t get tits out for money...

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Sean Spicer has put his foot in mouth again today by accidentally drawing comparisons between Hitler's wife, Eva Braun, and the First Lady, Melania...

Racist Republicans deny that their voting districts are racist

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Republicans in North Carolina deny that their voting districts were drawn up based on race. After the Supreme Court ruled 5-3 that the boundaries were...
Trump

Man with record of making unproveable and unsubstantiated claims claims something unproveable and unsubstantiated

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Serial unproveable and unsubstantiated claim maker Anthony Gilberthorpe, 54, has come to the defence of serial gropist Donald Trump.

White House confirms all its press staff do coke

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The White House has admitted today that all its press staff do coke. The admission comes after the latest mouthpiece for President Trump, Mr Scaramucci,...
Rock Paper Scissors

Trump and Putin fail to beat each other in two hour long rock, paper,...

3
Presidents Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin met face to face for the first time in public yesterday and went for each other in a...
Mount Rushmore

Trump vows to chisel four ‘losers’ off Mount Rushmore

3
President Trump has vowed to have the images of four of his predecessors chiselled off Mount Rushmore, describing them as ‘total losers’. In a...

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