Emails leaked from Donald Trump’s campaign office over the weekend appear to show that the follically absurd pseudo-politician is engaged in a mass game of chicken with the US electorate to see who gives up first.
In an email to one of his unholy trinity of hellspawn he says “How far can I push this thing? I say terrible things about women, and they should have stopped supporting me, but they don’t. That’s half the population of the US, and they still love me. I insult the grieving family of a veteran by making them out to be religious nuts, and they still love me. I seriously do not know how I can lose this thing.”
It appears that his campaign manager, B.L. Zebub, has a list of ever more divisive things for Trump to say in an attempt to discover just how stupid and easily led America is,
- John Wayne was actually a gay and loved the cock.
- If Jesus ran against me he’d lose, because he’s obviously a loser. What with him getting crucified by commies.
- Pepsi is better than Coke.
- I’m going to turn all fast food restaurants into Trump Vegan outlets.
- If you vote for me then I’m allowed to have sex with your Mother. Over my desk, no lube, on Webcam.
Experts believe that this list isn’t half as ridiculous as the things he says off the cuff. But they can still find no logical reason he hasn’t been pelted with bags of cat excrement yet.
The rest of the world today said “Seriously?” a lot, whilst digging very deep holes in the back garden.