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David Davis to demand the EU forms the next UK government

The first thing Brexiter David Davis will demand of the EU when Brexit discussions begin tomorrow morning will be to take over Britain and form the new UK government. This is a wise move given...
Happy Children

Tower Block residents look forward to less health and safety legislation post Brexit

A recent survey of tenants living in firetrap and substandard accommodation has showed overwhelming support for abolishing laws designed to protect them. The survey for think tank GovBalls has found that 90% of tenants would...

Leave voters incensed as EU threatens to take away Continental summer weather

Leave voters voiced their anger today as the EU threatened to take away the Continental weather that sees England baking in sunshine and heat normally only felt on package holidays in Continental Europe. Jean-Claude Junker...

Theresa May establishes Disaster Committee to “get ahead of the game”

Theresa May reassured a worried nation today by giving David Davis extra responsibility when she appointed him head of the newly formed Disaster Committee. It's a move aimed to underline her administration's reputation for consistency. It's hoped...

Leave voters insist on still paying mobile roaming charges

"What has the EU ever done for us?" Biff Bifshop demanded. Draped in a St George flag and holding a readiness to perform fellatio on Nigel Farage if the opportunity ever presents, Biff knows a...

Macron makes mince meat of May

Emmanuel Macron has a well deserved reputation as a man who knows what an older lady likes. Now it seems he's out to shag Brexit by wooing Theresa May. May has a reputation for being colder...
Trump

Sadiq Khan Trumps Donald Trump

The White House confirmed today that Donald Trump's international approval ratings have never been higher. The surge in love has been caused by Trump receiving a smack down to one of his informed tweets. The...
Tim Farron

PG tips bribery scandal uncovered as Tim Farron makes ‘put the kettle on’ jibe

In the wake of the Leaders debate on the BBC, it has been alleged that lib dem leader Tim Farron was paid a substantial amount by PG Tips to make his closing remark. Farron took the opportunity...
Macron

Macron roasts Le Swan

Emmanuel Macron last night served up a beautifully roasted swan at his victory dinner. The new French President was celebrating his victory with close supporters at a private event in Paris when he wowed...
Nigel Farage with Hitler moustache

Farage Demands Second French Presidential Election

Nigel Farage has claimed the victory of Macron over Le Pen of 65% v 35% is scandalous. Just inappropriate. Undemocratic. Pathetic. "Fifty two to forty eight. That's the proper margin. That allows those like myself...
Bomb Squad

May tells Merkel,”This is just a taste of what I’ve got”.

News reports this morning state that the entire city of Hannover is to be evacuated following the discovery of numerous unexploded WW2 bombs. Apparently, Theresa May ordered the ordinance dropped on the German city to...
Trial by Combat

Theresa May demands Trial by Combat to avoid EU trade negotiations

Theresa May has taken the unusual decision to demand a trial by combat rather than face the EU over the table at trade negotiations.  She reportedly told a press conference in Italy yesterday that: "I am...

New EU rules send shock waves through the terraces

New EU rules are set to send shock waves through the football terraces of the UK. According to sources close to the FA, the European Parliament's Fair Trade Advocacy Office in conjunction with the...
Farage pulling a funny face

Farage takes on Eurovision

In a shock move today, the rubber faced, racist, people's champion Nigel Farage has announced his intentions to represent Great Britain in next year's Eurovision Song Contest . Herr Farage, who has been a long...
Smiling Liam Fox

Liam Fox Announces Trade Deal With Iraq

Liam Fox, Secretary of State For International Trade, has followed up the success of his charm offensive with Duterte, the leader of the Philippines so in love with summary execution. Speaking from the west of...
Gibraltar

Downing Street Confirms Gibraltar To Be Closed Down

Downing Street has confirmed that Gibraltar is to be closed. With the success of Brexit guaranteeing the ability to launder money in the U.K., at home, Gibraltar has outlived its purpose. "It's not like we'll need...

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