Politics

Jeremy Corbyn has been found alive and well and working in a branch of B&Q. The DIY store is well known for its positive policies of employing older workers but it still came as...

Nigel Farage MP (just kidding) has revealed a Brexit Armageddon plan that involves him relocating to Germany. It's understood that should Britain exit the EU without a deal then KFC could run out of...

Conservative politician Jacob Rees-Mogg is said to have been left "apoplectic" earlier today after receiving several hundred carrier pigeon messages informing him of the impending changes to data protection legislation. The MP for North East...

The Conservatives hope to boost the number of young people applying for party membership by offering them a free Wham Bar every time they visit their local food bank, according to a new proposal. The...

Residents of Brighton & Hove were shocked to discover plans to shorten their city by 1 metre along it's East/West axis following Brexit. In 1972, the then Home Secretary Reginald Maudling ordered that the Sussex...

As sick of him as the rest of the world. Nigel Farage's Shadow packs its bags and leaves the prick.  After a lifetime together Nigel Farage and his shadow are splitting up. Farage's shadow was...

Scientists from Rochdale College have developed an artificially intelligent self service till that beat Boris Johnson at Scrabble.  Dr Frederick Seddon said, "We were wanting to make this breakthrough because we thought it would relieve...

Bill Board, spokesman for the Government, has told The Rochdale Herald that Theresa May is privately thrilled that the Russian Government has accused her Government of staging the Salisbury poisoning. Mr Board explained, "Theresa was...

The Home Office has confirmed that the United Kingdom's post-Brexit passport covers will be halal-certified. The iconic Royal blue cover, which is due to be reintroduced in March 2019, is seen by many Brexit campaigners...

Home Office confirms Franco-Dutch firm Gemalto will make Bleu passports. Controversy struck the UK this week after a mix up at the Home Office led to British firm De La Rue losing out on the...

Chancellor Philip Hammond responds to calls to offer above-inflation pay rises to public sector workers in Westminster, after a survey revealed that four out of ten MPs lose sleep because of financial anxiety. The poll...

In the wake of this week's political posturing a spokesman for Momentum and a journalist for the Canary has revealed that Jeremy Corbyn is always right and that his wee wee smells of Rainbows. "Jeremy...

Brexiters have taken umbrage at Vince Cable's suggestion that they'd like to see more white faces. Cliff Edge, a red man who normally speaks in capital letters and puts his ruddy complexion down to a...

In the wake of the alleged poisoning of Sergei Skripal and his daughter in Wiltshire last week, the UK has stepped up pressure on Vladimir Putin today with an announcement that it might not...

In a bid to allay concerns that the name change from National Front to National Rally will dilute the purity of the party, Marine Le Pen has moved to reassure members that they are...

The Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia has raised concerns about human rights in the United Kingdom during talks with the country's barely elected despot.