Politics

Boris Johnson has taken to social media today to clear up any misunderstanding that the 66% of people who live in Scunthorpe and voted Leave may or may not have had about Brexit. "Obviously the...

A massive turd that is blocking the downstairs bog next to the Cabinet Meeting Room in Downing Street has been studiously ignoring hints that he isn’t welcome in the building. The steaming piece of feculence...

Government announces all heroes to be paid in rounds of applause. The first decisive vote in the new session of parliament was passed yesterday with a majority of 14 votes. It is a significant win...

A forensic investigation of Damian Green's computer has revealed that it was used for viewing emails, conducting research and processing documents, confirming that bears shit in the woods. "Naturally, this sort of behaviour is...

A man in Lancashire this evening accidentally turned on his television this evening to see Donald Trump leading Hillary Clinton in the polls in North Carolina and now definitely won't sleep.

The contractor used for the Tory conference stage set has been awarded a £2bn social housing contract. Brian Odget and Simon Carper, who have been working together for over twenty years, are celebrating their biggest...

According to a recent poll, Leave voters up and down the country are excited at the prospect of leaving the EU posthumously. Following continuous delays and an ever extending transition period, defiant Brexiters have taken...

MPs are meeting this afternoon to discuss vital legislation that could break the Brexit deadlock and potentially save the Government. A bill tabled by Jo Swinson, leader of the Liberal Democrats, is currently being discussed...

UKIP leader Henry Bolton has declared a unilateral vote of no confidence in UKIP. Bolton has spoken out tonight, claiming that he wants to "drain the swamp". Henry, we couldn't have put it better ourselves. Bolton...

Confederates, slave owners and prominent members of the Ku Klux Klan have taken to Facebook to condemn Trump's nomination of Jeff Sessions to the office of Attorney General.

Theresa May stood outside 10 Downing Street this afternoon to reassure an increasingly worried country that, "Don't worry, my government will soon be gone." "It is the mark of a stable leader to know when...

Donald Trump has sensationally claimed that the 2016 US Presidential Election was rigged and he is demanding a recount.

As sick of him as the rest of the world. Nigel Farage's Shadow packs its bags and leaves the prick.  After a lifetime together Nigel Farage and his shadow are splitting up. Farage's shadow was...

In a dramatically uncharacteristic move Stephen Crabb, the former intern at  anti-equality fundamentalist Christian group CARE and employer of interns from the anti-equality fundamentalist Christian group CARE,  made a play for the leadership of...

UKIP have pledged to restore pubic hair to levels not seen since the 1970's, in a move they hope will secure the allegiance of older voters.  The party have promised to fight the modern trend...

Postmen across the country are refusing to open and empty letter boxes after being led to believe they could contain anything including bank robbers and Muslim women. Correspondence Logistics Operative (the job formally known as...