Early opinion polls show a likely overall victory for the Brexit Party in the upcoming European Parliament elections.  Scientists have restored brain activity to decapitated pigs.

Levels of support for Nigel Farage’s new Party are reported to be running about 5% above Labour.  Brain activity was restored to the pigs which had been slaughtered four hours earlier.

It is thought that much of the support has been derived from existing older voters who voted UKIP in their largely successful campaign at the last EU election.  Brain function was at least partly restored in a number of dead pigs after approximately ten hours.

Editor’s note: The Herald is currently trialling a space saving initiative of reporting two not necessarily remotely connected stories within a single article.