Earthlings stunned to learn the meaning of the word ‘Liberal’

3
Following Donald Trump's election, the entire population of Earth has completely forgotten how to use the word 'liberal'. Despite the word meaning someone who is...

Jeremy Corbyn’s conference speech just him saying “Oh Jeremy Corbyn” for 1 hour

5
Jeremy Corbyn's conference speech has been rapturously received by conference delegates. The speech consisted solely of Corbyn repeating the line, "Oh Jeremy Corbyn" for a...

Breaching FCO protocol isn’t just Priti bad, Israeli bad

0
From sitting Priti to up shit creek without a Patel Former Secretary of State for International Development Priti Patel held undisclosed meetings in Israel accompanied...
Theresa May

UK to hold referendum on whether or not to carry on pretending May knows...

11
The Home Office announced this morning that voters in the U.K. will be asked to tick yes or no again in a referendum shortly....

Theresa May to headline Latitude Festival

2
Not to be outdone by Corbyn's appearance at Glastonbury last weekend, May hastily forms new band to perform at Latitude this July. In the kind...

Prison not a muslamic themed holiday camp after all says Paul Golding

1
Paul Golding, hero of the Free British Peoples and shiny-faced wankpuffin, has told Britain Furst colleagues that it turns out prisons are not "Butlins...

Trump Press Secretary buys fireproof underpants

1
The secret of Press Secretary Sean Spicer's propensity for hyperbolic bullshitacity has been revealed.  He has reportedly been wearing a revolutionary new type of asbestos...

Ringmaster May’s Brexit circus will tour till 2021 unless David Davis gets eaten

0
It was announced last Friday that Ringmaster may’s Brexit circus will attempt to extend its world record breaking tour of Europe until 2021 unless...

Terrorists rejoice at lower energy bills as Jihadis unplug TVs

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Terrorists worldwide are saving money on their energy bills as millions of Jihadis unplug their Samsung smart TVs from mains sockets. The move comes after...

Nigel Farage launches leadership challenge

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Less then 24 hours after fewer than half of UKIP members voted for part time Ronnie Wood lookalike Diane James to be their new...

Boris Upsets Sturgeon Over Calls for New Indyref

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Boris Johnson today ran into further hot water, or perhaps hot oil, over comments responding to Nicola Sturgeon's view that only an Independent Scotland...
Hot dog

G20 Crisis as Trump eats hot dogs in Hamburg.

2
President Donald Trump caused outrage in Hamburg, Germany today, eating hot dogs and apple pie and drinking root beer all flown in with him...

Herald Guide to Parties Brexit Position

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As the General Distraction looms ever closer, more and more people are wondering where the various parties stand on the issue of Brexit. So we...
Man with shocked face

Trump appoints David Duke to head Black Lives Don’t Matter initiative

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Dr David Duke, former Grand Dragon of the Ku Klux Klan, Senate hopeful and all American Nazi Screwball, has accepted President Elect Donald Trump’s offer of a key advisory role in his new government.

Grant Shapps hires ferry fleet to transport people back to offices

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Transport secretary Grant Shapps is so convinced that going back to work in offices is safe, that he has hired a fleet of ferries...

Soon to be estranged husband proposes ‘transitional sexual union’

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Under the suggested terms of the deal, Britton, 34, would remain in the family home for up to a further two years, and would be entitled to avail himself of all the sexual benefits associated with a normal marriage.

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