Oscars goodie bag to include DNA evidence gathering kits
Celebrities will be receiving goodie bags at the Oscars with kits for collecting and preserving DNA in them.
The goodie bags, given to Oscar winners...
Industrial Action Threatened as British Workers Jobs at Threat in Languages Row
Reports that several British workers have had their employment terminated from the world famous British sofa manufacturer Zestra, because they failed to learn Polish...
Daily Mail reveal African poverty is a load of old tosh
The Daily Mail today have exclusively revealed that African poverty is rubbish and was invented by Oxfam as a way of making a quick...
Little Chef Change All Breakfasts To ‘Pork-Free’ After Complaints by ‘Foreigners’.
British roadside dining legends Little Chef have decided to make all their breakfasts, including their famous ‘All Day Breakfast’, entirely pork-free following a campaign...
If sausage rolls were made out of Piers Morgan we’d make an exception, confirm...
Vegans around the UK have unanimously voted to have Piers Morgan reclassified as a vegetable so that they can murder and eat him, according...
America relieved NYC bomber a terrorist and not a white guy
The United States was relieved to hear that the explosion that ripped through NYC earlier in the week wasn't the act of a lone...
Julian Assange plans quiet Christmas at home
Julian Assange has confirmed that he will be having a quiet Christmas at home this year.
In a telephone call Mr Assange told us,...
OUTRAGE as Middle Eastern immigrant cast as Mary in school nativity play
A Rochdale primary school has come under fire from parents for casting a 9 year old Palestinian immigrant as the virgin Mary in the...
2016 Will Be A Cakewalk Compared To Me Says 2017
Many people have put 2016 down as one of the worst years of their lives, with a series of disastrous political events; the deaths...
Mass shootings ‘fact of life’ says only country where mass shootings happen
Ralph H. Ick, head of the Texas branch of the NRA made the shocking statement yesterday after seven children were slain and three were...
Thomas the Tank Engine Outrage at Sodexit delay
The normally chipper blue tank engine Thomas has turned to social media to express his outrage at perceived delays in the Island of Sodor...
Lord Voldemort refuses to compare himself to any character in The Conservative Party
Lord Voldemort was visiting Hogwarts School today and was asked whether he was a fan of the Conservative Party by a student during a Q & A session in the Slytherin common room.
Gary Lineker to present MOTD in bejewelled jockstrap if BBC scrap gender pay gap
Following the release of salaries of high profile staff at the BBC one of the highest paid stars has vowed to make a stand.
Former...
Passive aggressive colleague is genuinely ‘looking forward to your reply’
An office worker who regularly distributes passive aggressive emails genuinely is 'looking forward to your response' because he is very lonely and has little...
Bank of England to use vegan fat in new £20 notes
Last year vegans and social justice warriors, fighting on behalf of un-offended Hindus and Sikhs, absolutely lost their shit because of the Bank of...
New survey shows 52% of Daily Mail readers have masturbated to The World At...
Researchers at the University of Rochdale reveal the enduring popularity of the 1970s documentary for gammon spank fodder.
The 1970s documentary, The World At War,...
