Researchers at the University of Rochdale reveal the enduring popularity of the 1970s documentary for gammon spank fodder.

The 1970s documentary, The World At War, has been revealed as one of the most popular visual aids for puce-faced Daily Mail reading onanists. The ground-breaking research by the University of Rochdale reveals that the 26 part series covers enough ground that it caters for a range of tastes.

Whether it is the rise of the Nazi party leading to an equivalent rise downstairs, or the rhythmic motion of a series of trains that even bloody Mussolini managed to make arrive on time, it really has everything for your Daily Mail reader. The survey found that once juices started flowing from coverage of “blossoming young girls celebrating their GCSE results,” readers swiftly head over to their prized VHS collection.

Albert Speer, 54, of Guildford, commented “Germans, well, they make the best stuff don’t they. Dirty. But then you have the Russians straight after, ah, and then even the Orientals if your tastes run that way. It’s just, oh, excuse me, I just came.”

Graf Spree, 47, of High Wycombe, agreed, adding “what really, really, makes me absolutely spit my dragon is the fact that a 1970s production of this quality was not made by those lying BBC charlatans and was funded by advertising. Except during the genocide episode, because, who would interrupt that?”

Karl Wolff, 64, of Alderley Edge, felt that the series brought something you can’t get any more, arguing that “whilst there’s plenty of little strumpets round the Cheshire triangle to help me get my blood up, this is prime 1970s television. Honest coverage from back when you could still call a spade a spade, and pay him 10 bob to dig your garden.”

As with all good masturbatory stimulation however, very few of the readers surveyed made it through to the end. As a result, many assume the “good guys won” but are rarely clear which side that is. The longest to last, Alger Hiss from Cobham, conceded he was “crying through all three eyes” when the bomb went off and Japan surrendered in episode 24.