Apple Sues Samsung Over ‘Shit Battery’ ?Patent Infingement
Apple is to sue Samsung after the Korean electronics giant recalled its flagship Galaxy Note 7 smartphone after the battery repeatedly blew up during...
British Public shocked to learn Pizza and San Miguel not Mediterranean Diet
Rochdalians are being reminded today that having a deep pan 16 inch spicy meat special doesn't count as following a Mediterranean diet- even if...
DWP declared May’s vocal cords fit for work
The budget statistics for the Department for Work and Pensions can often hide the raw human stories of the effects of poverty and joblessness.
In...
No manifesto better than a bad manifesto say Conservatives
Confusion reigns following the Queen's Speech as the Tories deny all knowledge of a manifesto that may, or may not, have existed prior to...
Cats growing increasingly desperate to find cure for Coronavirus
Pet cats have announced that they're ramping up their efforts to find a cure for Coronavirus as many find they're now forced to spend...
Full blown Brexit testing on monkeys halted after everything in lab just f*cking died
David Davis, lead researcher in the government's secretive Brexit Lab, has announced that Brexit testing on monkeys has been halted after everything in the...
New guy at work definitely up to something
Employees from a Rochdale conservatory company have been explaining how a new employee is definitely up to something.
Simon Simpson started on Monday and...
MP who understands difference between dinner and tea appointed Secretary for the North
Theresa May has now got involved in the political hot potato that is The North / South divide.
For many in the current government, the...
Moody’s downgrade UK credit rating to junk status after realising who’s in charge
It was announced this morning by a genuinely startled press that international rating agency Moody’s has downgraded the UK credit status to junk after...
David Davis-Brexit Speech in full
In a monumentous speech to the House of Commons yesterday, the Brexit Minister David Davis set out the government's plans for taking Britain out...
DWP and DUP conflicted over who are the bigger bastards.
Angry confusion has broken out on Twitter with the hashtags #DWP and #DUP.
The short tweets such as "Bastards ruin lives" and "Blood on your...
House of Commons Toilets to Close in wake of Fabric Closure
After the closure of the famous London nightclub Fabric by Islington council, due to people taking drugs there, it was announced today that the...
Stormzy shuts up agent after transfer confusion
Following the glaring error made by Irish newspaper, The Herald (no relation) where a picture of the grime MC was used instead of Romelu...
Terror in the skies Part 2
The editor of The Rochdale Herald was left horrified aboard a flight to Rhodes yesterday after reading an article in a copy of The Telegraph...
Passive aggressive colleague is genuinely ‘looking forward to your reply’
An office worker who regularly distributes passive aggressive emails genuinely is 'looking forward to your response' because he is very lonely and has little...
Teenager with first name ‘Giggs’ finally, inevitably, murders his father.
Giggs Johnson (17) was found guilty of murdering his father at Rochdale Court yesterday. In an unusual move the foreman of the jury addressed...
