Magic mushroom season not as bad as rumoured
Rumours that this year's magic mushroom season has been a let down are made of regret and the memory of socks from Bolivia, says...
Actor playing Donald Trump forgets stage directions
Due to White House budget cuts, an experienced but cheap actor was selected for the part. Bit part "character actor" Rowle Player is best...
Jesus to have birthday party in August
Jesus Christ has gone on the record to say that he is absolutely sick and tired of relatives and friends buying him joint birthday and Christmas presents.
JK Rowling dedicates next book Harry Potter and The Dead Girl’s Voicemail to Piers...
JK Rowling has dedicated the next instalment of the global phenomenon Harry Potter to Piers Morgan.
Somebody on Facebook has eaten some food
It is being widely reported by sources around the world that somebody on Facebook has cooked and eaten a tasty meal.
We’re not doing anything dodgy with your data, says company renowned for doing dodgy...
A multi-million organisation has insisted that there's nothing suspicious at all about the new data policy updates, despite them being completely and utterly suspicious.
'The...
Amazon issues cease and desist order against Moon, claiming copyright on e-clipse
Online megatrader Amazon has issued a cease and desist order against the Moon, obliging the satellite to end its intended traverse between the Sun...
WOW! SECRET SANTA UPDATE – 2,644 presents and £21,570 raised
The Big Fat Secret Santa appeal we're running with NewsThump, Southend News Network, Angry People in Local Papers and Tuckered is really gathering...
John McDonnell caught on film pushing Diane Abbott under bus while out jogging
John McDonell has been embroiled in a bizarre cover up involving himself and Diane Abbot
New Canesten ad campaign to be fronted by The Flaming Lips
The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal that the makers of Canesten feminine products, have allegedly announced in a top secret press release that their...
Amber Rudd announces plan to ban envelopes
Home Secretary Amber Rudd has announced that envelopes will be banned from the end of the month.
The Home Office has also announced that all...
Daily Mail Editor defends decision to describe a psychopath as an alopecia suffer, not...
Less than a week has gone by since a Daily Mail editor allegedly tried to defend his decision to relegate the Olympic Gold Medallist,...
Trump to produce new range of fragrances
Donald Trump is to collaborate with daughter Ivanka to produce a new range of perfumes.
The first daughter said "This new range reflects...
Now that passports are blue again I might get one, says 50 year old...
A fifty year old racist fuckwit has told The Rochdale Herald that he is over the moon that passports are now going to be...
I’m nothing like Pope antichrist tells DUP
In an exclusive interview with The Rochdale Herald, the antichrist tells the DUP "I'm nothing like the Pope!"
On a damp and surprisingly chilly June...
Remoaners trounce nimbys in self-interest cock off
Earlier this year the Gazillionaire Tory, Zac Goldsmith, resigned from his post as MP for Richmond Park in order to cost taxpayers a shitload...
