OUTRAGE as Middle Eastern immigrant cast as Mary in school nativity play

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A Rochdale primary school has come under fire from parents for casting a 9 year old Palestinian immigrant as the virgin Mary in the...

Basil Brush on the defensive as police release CCTV image of ‘Croydon Cat Killer’

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Television celebrity Basil Brush has been forced to reject allegations that he is responsible for the gruesome deaths of over 400 cats across London and the...

Rochdale – Labour NEC “Can’t find its arse with both hands”

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In the face of the least popular Tory Government since the Peterloo Massacre, Labour has decided not to bother being an opposition of any...

Greta Thunberg releases Scandinavian Death Metal album.

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The music world has been surprised by the release of an album by Greta Thunberg and the Prophets of Doom, a new death metal...
Michael Gove

Women seeking cosmetic surgery to make their genitals look like Michael Gove

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The Labia Party have announced new plans to make vaginal cosmetic surgery available on the NHS. The announcement follows news that millions of women...
Peeing Cyclist

Man who provided bags of piss for top cyclists nominated for sports personality of...

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Top cycling teams have been paying tribute to the man who provides fresh urine to high profile Tour de France riders for drugs tests. Chopper...
Fat Man Gym

Man begins month long quest to get fit

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In a determined effort, this time (yes, this time it's for real, not like the other times) Simon Lardon, single, of Sheffield, has given...
Homeless man

Homeless man with hypothermia grateful that Facebook users are thinking about him

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David Wild, a 36 year old homeless man takes a sip of hot tea in the cafe we meet in. His hands are just...

Tommy Robinson announces plan to launch Ceefax page

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Far right midget Tommy Robinson has announced plans to launch a Ceefax page following news that he has been banned from both Facebook and...

Piers Morgan quits Good Morning Britain to reprise Pigeon Lady role in Home Alone...

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Piers Morgan has reportedly quit Good Morning Britain this week in order to reprise his award-winning role of Pigeon Lady in the Home Alone...

Crossfit cult ‘survivor’ makes full recovery after being rescued

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A former member of the cult of Crossfit, Steve ‘Tits’ Day, has spoken for the first time having made a full recovery from his formerly...

UKIP call for Global Warming referendum

In what is seen as a bid to rescue UKIP from self-inflicted obsolescence, leadership hopeful and Anthony Head lookalike, Steven Woolfe has today called...

NHS gift vouchers to become nation’s favourite christmas stocking fillers

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People up and down the country will be able to show their loved ones how much they care by buying gift vouchers for NHS...

Trudeau Promises Canadian Citizens A Wall. ‘U.S. Will Pay’

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Canadian Premier Justin Trudeau reacted to the news of Donald Trump's election as US President by announcing plans for a wall to be built...
Millwall Fans

Millwall football fans hail Supreme Court with bricks and bottles after Blair no criminal...

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Buoyed by the Supreme Court's ruling that there was no law of criminal aggression with which to prosecute Tony Blair, Millwall Football Club supporters...
Brian Cox's Flat Earth

Brian Cox concedes Earth is flat after spotting massive rounding error

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Astrophysicists around or rather, across the world are in turmoil after Oldham-born pop-rock sensation, Professor Brian Cox today admitted that the Earth is...

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