Humour

A Labrador has been slammed by fellow dogs for 'conforming to archaic, patriarchal stereotypes' after returning a ball thrown by its owner, it was confirmed today. Onlooking mutts watched in horror as Sandy the golden...

The Wank Bank, formally Britain's premier repository of one-handed images, has announced that it will shut its doors after over 100 years of trading. Founded in Rochdale in 1880 as the Rochdale Mutual Society, it originally...

Samsung have hit the press with the announcement that their new Galaxy Note 8 device will be unveiled in August by military bomb disposal experts. While they are confident they have fixed the battery issues...

A Rochdale Woman has told the Herald how she found a man's poorly executed handbrake turn a huge turn on. Speaking exclusively to the Herald she said, "I was stood at the bus stop when I...

Eyewitness accounts given by proper British holidaymakers desperate to return to the UK reveal that queues for pedalos during the Dunkirk evacuation were shorter than the immigration queues currently being suffered at Benidorm immigration...

In a dramatically uncharacteristic move Stephen Crabb, the former intern at  anti-equality fundamentalist Christian group CARE and employer of interns from the anti-equality fundamentalist Christian group CARE,  made a play for the leadership of...

Great news for Rochdale's Yorkshire Street just keeps rolling in. As well as being a wonderful area for shopping, entertainment and food, it's also becoming something of a local equivalent of London's Harley Street...

Local person and Rochdale Herald editor Quentin D.Fortesque has today ended the sad experiment that was his life, after an ill-advised use of the word "stat" to colleagues. Fortesque, of unknown age, was holding an...

A Rochdale woman was left devastated today after discovering that she will now be looking after her neighbour's children for the next three Sunday mornings in a row. Sharon Smith from the Falinge area of...

I have a suggestion for Gary Lineker Maybe you should stop selling Salt & Vinegar If your boss still works with the devil Then tell them to start using Gary Neville If those twats don't like your tweets Then...

Thousands of satirists across the UK and their tens of readers around the world face a crisis as the supplies of ink slowed to dribble today. Analysts blame the shortage on an abnormally high...

A man who enjoys character assassinating every person he encounters and then tries to excuse himself of any malice by saying 'I'm not being funny, but...' is definitely being funny, it has been confirmed. Friends...

"My partner, Honeydew, was having an awful time squeezing little Clytemnestra out. It reminded me of a time I had ferocious constipation and needed half an hour to curl one out." He spread a little ketchup on his sausage.

We just tell all the farmers growing baby cows to leave them alone to live as they did in the wild. They can all start mining slate. Any excess they have they can sell to the restaurants in their area for use as napkins and plates.