Terrify your neighbours with The Original Trumpkin

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Make your own Original Trumpkin! Have you ever wanted to scare the bejeezus out of your neighbours on Halloween? Finally you have you chance with...

Selfie App spots early signs of Hipster

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Have you recently felt the need to visit the newly opened Craft beer bar up the street? Have you been annoyed at your local café...

Homeopaths to protest NHS cut with one person million man march

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Homeopaths are to warn Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt that he faces severe blowback from them if he does not reverse the cut to homeopathic...

Satire Is Officially Obsolete, Satirists Announce

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Satirists have officially announced that satire is no more, it has been confirmed. A spokesman on behalf of satirists, announced, "As of January 31st 2017,...

Satirist suspects people just reading his headlines 

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An angry satirist is convinced that people are just reading the headlines of his articles and maybe the first sentence underneath. "Anything after that could...

Success of women’s sports teams coincides with an increase in cases of erectile dysfunction,...

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The NHS is struggling to keep up with the increase in male erectile dysfunction which appears to coincide with the success of female sporting...

Mark Francois – Gammon Messiah: A Parliamentary Sketch

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An hour of hilarity last night made the last three years of purgatory almost worth it. The efforts by the hardest, crustiest elements of the...

Britain mourns the loss of George Michael jokes – We look back at terrible...

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Britain is tonight coming to terms with the sudden loss of George Michael jokes and as a target for snide comments & toilet based humour.
Rees Mogg

Jacob Rees-Mogg to be put out to stud

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Jacob Rees-Mogg MP is reported to be in the process of choosing a nice green field near to his family home at Wentworth Woodhouse...

New father awarded medal for empathy by comparing childbirth to having a tricky poo

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"My partner, Honeydew, was having an awful time squeezing little Clytemnestra out. It reminded me of a time I had ferocious constipation and needed half an hour to curl one out." He spread a little ketchup on his sausage.

Unfortunately, Jimmy Carr survives breakthrough surgery

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With great regret, surgeons at Kings College London have released a statement confirming the successful operation to remove a rogue dog toy squeaker that...

Rochdale woman in Waitrose platitude tragedy

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A Rochdale woman was left devastated today after discovering that she will now be looking after her neighbour's children for the next three Sunday...

Herald Horrible Histories presents Pathetic Presidents

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Episode 1 - Pathetic Presidents. The Terrible Trumps. Welcome to the News at When. When? The 21st century, when one of America's presidents was a...
Woman in Car

Woman admits she was more than a little turned on by badly executed handbrake...

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A Rochdale Woman has told the Herald how she found a man's poorly executed handbrake turn a huge turn on. Speaking exclusively to the Herald...

Wank Bank to close with loss of 1,200 Hand Jobs – Bosses Blame 4G...

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The Wank Bank, formally Britain's premier repository of one-handed images, has announced that it will shut its doors after over 100 years of trading. Founded in...
Calendar

Latest theory on the structure of the Gregorian calendar revealed.

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Following alleged intense research on the part of our Ace reporter, The Rochdale Herald is able to reveal the latest acadamic theory surrounding the...

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