Success of women’s sports teams coincides with an increase in cases of erectile dysfunction,...

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The NHS is struggling to keep up with the increase in male erectile dysfunction which appears to coincide with the success of female sporting...
Plain wooden coffin

Rochdale man takes own life after using the word “Stat”

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Local person and Rochdale Herald editor Quentin D.Fortesque has today ended the sad experiment that was his life, after an ill-advised use of the...

Homeopaths proposal for huge protest march against NHS cuts watered down

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Homeopaths planning a protest march against NHS cuts have begun watering down their plans. The United Kingdom’s largest association of diluted medicine, Et Aqua, initially...
Bomb Squad

New Samsung Galaxy Note 8 to be unveiled by military bomb disposal unit

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Samsung have hit the press with the announcement that their new Galaxy Note 8 device will be unveiled in August by military bomb disposal...

Unfortunately, Jimmy Carr survives breakthrough surgery

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With great regret, surgeons at Kings College London have released a statement confirming the successful operation to remove a rogue dog toy squeaker that...

Britain mourns the loss of George Michael jokes – We look back at terrible...

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Britain is tonight coming to terms with the sudden loss of George Michael jokes and as a target for snide comments & toilet based humour.

Mark Francois – Gammon Messiah: A Parliamentary Sketch

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An hour of hilarity last night made the last three years of purgatory almost worth it. The efforts by the hardest, crustiest elements of the...

Is there something Stephen Crabb isn’t telling us?

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In a dramatically uncharacteristic move Stephen Crabb, the former intern at  anti-equality fundamentalist Christian group CARE and employer of interns from the anti-equality fundamentalist...

New Tory Crabbs Clinic opens in Rochdale

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Great news for Rochdale's Yorkshire Street just keeps rolling in. As well as being a wonderful area for shopping, entertainment and food, it's also...

Neil Armstrong’s body to be exhumed and tested for moon dust

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President Donald Trump is understood to have ordered an investigation into whether or not the first moon landing ever happened on this day in...

Satirists run out of ink

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Thousands of satirists across the UK and their tens of readers around the world face a crisis as the supplies of ink slowed to...

Rochdale woman in Waitrose platitude tragedy

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A Rochdale woman was left devastated today after discovering that she will now be looking after her neighbour's children for the next three Sunday...

Selfie App spots early signs of Hipster

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Have you recently felt the need to visit the newly opened Craft beer bar up the street? Have you been annoyed at your local café...

New father awarded medal for empathy by comparing childbirth to having a tricky poo

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"My partner, Honeydew, was having an awful time squeezing little Clytemnestra out. It reminded me of a time I had ferocious constipation and needed half an hour to curl one out." He spread a little ketchup on his sausage.

Wank Bank to close with loss of 1,200 Hand Jobs – Bosses Blame 4G...

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The Wank Bank, formally Britain's premier repository of one-handed images, has announced that it will shut its doors after over 100 years of trading. Founded in...

Labrador accused of virtue signaling by other dogs for returning thrown ball

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A Labrador has been slammed by fellow dogs for 'conforming to archaic, patriarchal stereotypes' after returning a ball thrown by its owner, it was...

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