Mark Francois – Gammon Messiah: A Parliamentary Sketch
An hour of hilarity last night made the last three years of purgatory almost worth it.
The efforts by the hardest, crustiest elements of the...
Satire Is Officially Obsolete, Satirists Announce
Satirists have officially announced that satire is no more, it has been confirmed.
A spokesman on behalf of satirists, announced, "As of January 31st 2017,...
New Tory Crabbs Clinic opens in Rochdale
Great news for Rochdale's Yorkshire Street just keeps rolling in. As well as being a wonderful area for shopping, entertainment and food, it's also...
Wank Bank to close with loss of 1,200 Hand Jobs – Bosses Blame 4G...
The Wank Bank, formally Britain's premier repository of one-handed images, has announced that it will shut its doors after over 100 years of trading.
Founded in...
Neil Armstrong’s body to be exhumed and tested for moon dust
President Donald Trump is understood to have ordered an investigation into whether or not the first moon landing ever happened on this day in...
New father awarded medal for empathy by comparing childbirth to having a tricky poo
"My partner, Honeydew, was having an awful time squeezing little Clytemnestra out. It reminded me of a time I had ferocious constipation and needed half an hour to curl one out." He spread a little ketchup on his sausage.
Judgemental twat who starts every opinion with ‘I’m not being funny, but’ definitely is...
A man who enjoys character assassinating every person he encounters and then tries to excuse himself of any malice by saying 'I'm not being...
Success of women’s sports teams coincides with an increase in cases of erectile dysfunction,...
The NHS is struggling to keep up with the increase in male erectile dysfunction which appears to coincide with the success of female sporting...
Selfie App spots early signs of Hipster
Have you recently felt the need to visit the newly opened Craft beer bar up the street?
Have you been annoyed at your local café...
Rochdale woman in Waitrose platitude tragedy
A Rochdale woman was left devastated today after discovering that she will now be looking after her neighbour's children for the next three Sunday...
Hipster MP demanding new laws be written on slate
We just tell all the farmers growing baby cows to leave them alone to live as they did in the wild. They can all start mining slate. Any excess they have they can sell to the restaurants in their area for use as napkins and plates.
Britain mourns the loss of George Michael jokes – We look back at terrible...
Britain is tonight coming to terms with the sudden loss of George Michael jokes and as a target for snide comments & toilet based humour.
Woman admits she was more than a little turned on by badly executed handbrake...
A Rochdale Woman has told the Herald how she found a man's poorly executed handbrake turn a huge turn on.
Speaking exclusively to the Herald...
A word in your ear Mr Lineker
I have a suggestion for Gary Lineker
Maybe you should stop selling Salt & Vinegar
If your boss still works with the devil
Then tell them to...
Rochdale man takes own life after using the word “Stat”
Local person and Rochdale Herald editor Quentin D.Fortesque has today ended the sad experiment that was his life, after an ill-advised use of the...
Six year old girl fears poisoning after finding new food mixed into her food
Six year old Sally Parker, domestic overseer and student, has recoiled in horror fearing poisoning after the discovery of new food mixed into food...
