Satirist suspects people just reading his headlines 

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An angry satirist is convinced that people are just reading the headlines of his articles and maybe the first sentence underneath. "Anything after that could...
Bomb Squad

New Samsung Galaxy Note 8 to be unveiled by military bomb disposal unit

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Samsung have hit the press with the announcement that their new Galaxy Note 8 device will be unveiled in August by military bomb disposal...

Homeopaths to protest NHS cut with one person million man march

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Homeopaths are to warn Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt that he faces severe blowback from them if he does not reverse the cut to homeopathic...

Homeopaths proposal for huge protest march against NHS cuts watered down

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Homeopaths planning a protest march against NHS cuts have begun watering down their plans. The United Kingdom’s largest association of diluted medicine, Et Aqua, initially...

Neil Armstrong’s body to be exhumed and tested for moon dust

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President Donald Trump is understood to have ordered an investigation into whether or not the first moon landing ever happened on this day in...

Judgemental twat who starts every opinion with ‘I’m not being funny, but’ definitely is...

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A man who enjoys character assassinating every person he encounters and then tries to excuse himself of any malice by saying 'I'm not being...

Satirists run out of ink

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Thousands of satirists across the UK and their tens of readers around the world face a crisis as the supplies of ink slowed to...

Is there something Stephen Crabb isn’t telling us?

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In a dramatically uncharacteristic move Stephen Crabb, the former intern at  anti-equality fundamentalist Christian group CARE and employer of interns from the anti-equality fundamentalist...

Six year old girl fears poisoning after finding new food mixed into her food

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Six year old Sally Parker, domestic overseer and student, has recoiled in horror fearing poisoning after the discovery of new food mixed into food...

Success of women’s sports teams coincides with an increase in cases of erectile dysfunction,...

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The NHS is struggling to keep up with the increase in male erectile dysfunction which appears to coincide with the success of female sporting...

Hipster MP demanding new laws be written on slate

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We just tell all the farmers growing baby cows to leave them alone to live as they did in the wild. They can all start mining slate. Any excess they have they can sell to the restaurants in their area for use as napkins and plates.

Terrify your neighbours with The Original Trumpkin

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Make your own Original Trumpkin! Have you ever wanted to scare the bejeezus out of your neighbours on Halloween? Finally you have you chance with...

Mark Francois – Gammon Messiah: A Parliamentary Sketch

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An hour of hilarity last night made the last three years of purgatory almost worth it. The efforts by the hardest, crustiest elements of the...

New father awarded medal for empathy by comparing childbirth to having a tricky poo

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"My partner, Honeydew, was having an awful time squeezing little Clytemnestra out. It reminded me of a time I had ferocious constipation and needed half an hour to curl one out." He spread a little ketchup on his sausage.
Woman in Car

Woman admits she was more than a little turned on by badly executed handbrake...

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A Rochdale Woman has told the Herald how she found a man's poorly executed handbrake turn a huge turn on. Speaking exclusively to the Herald...

New Tory Crabbs Clinic opens in Rochdale

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Great news for Rochdale's Yorkshire Street just keeps rolling in. As well as being a wonderful area for shopping, entertainment and food, it's also...

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