New father awarded medal for empathy by comparing childbirth to having a tricky poo
"My partner, Honeydew, was having an awful time squeezing little Clytemnestra out. It reminded me of a time I had ferocious constipation and needed half an hour to curl one out." He spread a little ketchup on his sausage.
Queue for pedalos during Dunkirk evacuation shorter than Benidorm immigration control confirm veterans
Eyewitness accounts given by proper British holidaymakers desperate to return to the UK reveal that queues for pedalos during the Dunkirk evacuation were shorter...
Satire Is Officially Obsolete, Satirists Announce
Satirists have officially announced that satire is no more, it has been confirmed.
A spokesman on behalf of satirists, announced, "As of January 31st 2017,...
Britain mourns the loss of George Michael jokes – We look back at terrible...
Britain is tonight coming to terms with the sudden loss of George Michael jokes and as a target for snide comments & toilet based humour.
Terrify your neighbours with The Original Trumpkin
Make your own Original Trumpkin!
Have you ever wanted to scare the bejeezus out of your neighbours on Halloween? Finally you have you chance with...
A word in your ear Mr Lineker
I have a suggestion for Gary Lineker
Maybe you should stop selling Salt & Vinegar
If your boss still works with the devil
Then tell them to...
Hipster MP demanding new laws be written on slate
We just tell all the farmers growing baby cows to leave them alone to live as they did in the wild. They can all start mining slate. Any excess they have they can sell to the restaurants in their area for use as napkins and plates.
