Homeopaths are to warn Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt that he faces severe blowback from them if he does not reverse the cut to homeopathic therapies on the NHS.
Mrs Lorem Minima, a homeopath who has been diluting reagents into invisibility in tap water for over a decade, is to issue the warning in a speech while standing on a tea chest. The tea chest will be immersed in a giant temporary pool of water and placed on the steps of St Paul’s cathedral.
“Standing on the tea chest is a calculated risk.” Mrs Minima stated. “I risk bumping my head on the sun and may need treatment for burns afterwards. One tea chest is as effective as a moon launch.”
Cutting homeopathic services from the NHS will not be noticed by most customers of the service, but for those requiring emergency placebo treatment for mild to severe ailments it will come as a blow.
“We’ve yet to choose which one of us is going to stage the million man march to Westminster, but just watch out when we do.”
The Metropolitan Police have offered some comfort to Mrs Minima by advising her that there will be no need to apply for any permits or arrange any stewards for the protest. However, this offer of support has only raised more irritation.
“It’s a smear.” Lorem shot back. “The police are clearly suggesting that one person marching through central London with a protest banner the size of a second class stamp will not have the power of a million people and will not disrupt business for the day?
Well, they’re going to learn better soon enough. London will grind to a halt when it happens. Especially if it rains.”