Britain is still coming to terms with the sudden loss of George Michael jokes in 2016.

The singing superstar, real name Georgios Panathaniakos Panacotta, gave us great musical hits and a series of toilet humour based jokes, comedy arrests & hilarious press conferences.

However that is no more and the gags died with him. Tonight, in tribute we look back at some of the great gags that went to the grave with their brave stars.

Number 5 – Robert Maxwell & Freddie Mercury. Maxwell was a fat, pension stealing Israeli spy who managed to “accidentally” fall off a perfectly good boat in the middle of the ocean. Freddie Mercury seemed to be an all around decent fellow who contracted AIDS………

Q. What have Robert Maxwell & Freddie Mercury got in common?

A. They were both killed by dodgy seamen

Number 4. Roy Kinnear. Roy was a much loved comedy & character actor who died after falling from a horse whilst filming…so…

Q. What did Roy Kinnear’s family get for Christmas?

A1. Buckaroo

A2. A smaller turkey

Number 3. Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother. A much loved figure particularly amongst Cockneys who credited her with winning the war. Having lived to be over a hundred she was renowned for her love of sherry and a right old cockney knees-up…so…

Q. What goes in/out, in/out and smells like piss?

A. The Queen Mother doing the Okey-Cokey

Number 2. Michael Jackson. A much loved singer, dancer & Munchausen’s enthusiast

Michael also liked to spend his time with kids whose parents would accept money in lieu of legal proceedings…allegedly…….

Q. Where does Michael Jackson go on holiday?

A. To Tampa. With the kids….

…..and finally, our Number 1 gag that gets consigned to the big dressing room bin in the sky is…….

Number 1. George Michael. A much loved singer and proponent of gay rights….particularly the right to have sex in public toilets without having your civil liberties infringed by Nazi storm troopers/ Police when children complain to their mums about it…….our number one gag of yesterday is……

Q. What has George Michael got in common with a pair of cheap wellies?

A. They both get sucked off in bogs.

We hope you have enjoyed our countdown. Please let us know your favourite gags which sadly just aren’t relevant any more.

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.