Self Proclaimed Lennon Fan Actually Knows More McCartney Songs

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A man who claims to prefer John Lennon to Paul McCartney actually knows more of the latter’s songs, it has emerged. Music fan Lennie Payne 41, told the Rochdale Herald of how much he preferred...

Clive Dunn in Nazi uniform outrage

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Dad's Army Star Clive Dunn has apologised after being pictured wearing a Nazi uniform. The Sun on Sunday published pictures of the celebrity actor and one time pop-star in a World War Two outfit, including...

Paul Hollywood slammed for attending birthday party dressed as Nigel Farage

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Great British Bake Off star Paul Hollywood has apologised after being pictured dressed as Nigel Farage at a fancy dress party. The 51-year-old said the pictures dated from 2003, when he went to a New...

Dolly Parton to re-release classic ‘9 to 5’ as ‘8 to 6 on a...

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Music industry representatives were bouncing off walls this morning with the news that megastar Dolly Parton is to re-release her classic smash hit ‘9 to 5’, re-titled ‘8 to 6 on a zero hours...

Jeremy Corbyn to produce next Stormzy album.

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It has been confirmed that Jeremy Corbyn will be producing the next Stormzy album. The album will be produced in a reclaimed timber shed on Corbyn’s allotment patch. It is also expected to be made...
Kate Middleton

Duchess of Cambridge to host special royal edition of Bake Off

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Hot on the news that she is expecting her third child Channel 4 has announced that the Duchess of Cambridge is to present a special royal edition of Bake Off. "This is a unique opportunity...

Cockroaches latest to quit I’m a celebrity, after refusing to touch Katie Hopkins.

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Following on from yesterday's shock departure of the venomous snakes, an intrusion of cockroaches have also terminated their contract to appear on this years upcoming ‘I'm a celebrity, get me out of here’ Traditionally the...
Ant and Dec

I’m A Celebrity host seen tampering with a parachute following announcement that K***e H*****s...

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Following the shock decision to give Ms Hopkins, who has been sacked from numerous broadcasting jobs because of her wordhole, a spot on one of the biggest tv shows, it appears that one of...
Katie Hopkins

Poisonous snake first to leave I’m A Celebrity after failing to overcome fear of...

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The program known for subjecting contestants to creepy crawlies, scary animals and filthy challenges is facing a crisis after it has emerged that none of them are prepared to work with Katie Hopkins. The backlash...
William Shatner

William Shatner fired from Trump Biopic for not having big enough ego

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It’s not often you hear William Shatner’s ego described as “too small”, but that’s the complaint being made by the producers of his latest movie venture, a biopic of Donald Trump. The movie has been...
Homeless

Survey reveals homeless choose to live on streets so they cannot appear on Come...

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To many, the issue of homelessness invokes thoughts of a person falling on hard times, perhaps even drink, drugs, or criminality. Now, the latest poll has revealed that the majority of homeless people live...
Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey records shock cover of Dead Kennedy’s ‘Nazi Punks Fuck Off’ in support...

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Born again Christian pop singer and self styled "voice of the MTV generation" Mariah Carey, has sent shock waves through tin pan alley with the announcement that she has recorded a cover of the...

Nigel Farage cast as Pinocchio in reboot of Disney classic

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Arron Banks is tipped to direct in his feature debut having amassed an impressive CV of smaller films targeted at indie audiences.
Michael Gove

Thunderbird puppet with condom over his head to play Michael Gove in Brexit Movie

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Beating off a host of A-listers, producers have today announced that the starring role of Michael Gove in their upcoming blockbuster has gone to a Thunderbirds puppet with a condom over his head. With only...

Diane Abbott To Play Nigel Farage In Brexit The Movie

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In a surprising turn, it has just been announced that a movie of Brexit is to be made and the part of Nigel Farage is to be played by Diane Abbott MP. Director Roger De Bris...

Pinocchio to play Nigel Farage in hotly awaited biopic

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Requests from the public to name the film have had to be abandoned. They were either correctly spelled expletives or poorly written praise so hard to comprehend that the staffer responsible for sifting through the responses incurred a nose bleed.

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