Tony Hadley

Fat red faced old man quits boring 80s band

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Shockwaves rang through Tin Pan Alley yesterday with the news that singer Tony Hadley was quitting 80s pop toppers Spandau Ballet. In a cryptic tweet...

Man vows to watch Game of Thrones right after the US Election, Breaking Bad...

Rochdale was in turmoil last night after discovering that the last remaining person in the UK yet to watch Season 6 of Game of...
Michael Gove

Gove cast as Tick-Tock in Rupert Murdoch’s adaption of ‘Peter Pan’

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An all star cast is to appear in seasoned stage director Rupert Murdoch's new adaptation of the J. M. Barrie classic 'Peter Pan'. Michael Gove...
Doctor Who

Calls for end to austerity as BBC reveal they can only afford female to...

53
Cost cutting at state broadcaster curtails roles for male actors. The BBC has responded to continuing pressure from central government to reduce costs by reducing...
Marxist Bedwetter

John Lewis advert “Darkly Sinister”

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John Lewis, purveyors of things that ultimately no one needs or wants, has made everything better with a darkly sinister tale about a black...
Elton John

Being a Liberal Democrat is not a sin claims Elton John

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The ageing singer and renowned diva famous for her tantrums, Mariah Carey, asked Elton John about his views on the struggling political party at...

Twitter explodes after banning racist for racism after warning him not to be racist...

The social media platform Twitter is going bonkers today after permanently banning a user for inciting an abusive racist attack on a fellow Twitter...

Blank screen favourite to win Britain’s Got Talent

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The blank screen caused by technical difficulties during Britain's Got Talent is now firm favourite to win. Bookies are giving the screen more favourable odds...

Donald Trump Twitter Account wins Nobel Prize for fiction

The American character actor, author and comedian behind the Twitter Account, @realdonaldtrump, has scooped the Nobel Prize award for the best work of fiction...
Pyongyang Style

North Korean rapper DMZ launches attack on US Charts with Pyongyang Style

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North Korean rap artist DMZ 'exploded' into the US Billboard charts today with his latest hit "Pyongyang Style". The song, which is his own twist...
Kim Jong Un Submarine

Fatboy Kim to re-release his mix of Radioactivity

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In a move to hail his comeback, the king of hereditary Marxist dictators, Kim Young Un aka Fatboy Kim, has announced a rehashing of...

Men in Rural England “Shitting Themselves” as Helen Titchener Walks Free

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Men up and down the UK will now be sleeping with one eye open and replacing all the knives in the house with plastic...

Man who ate World’s hottest chilli for likes doesn’t regret a thing as everyone...

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The trend of being a total dickhead and doing something horrendously stupid to upload to social media just so other stupid people will click...

Jeremy Corbyn to produce next Stormzy album.

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It has been confirmed that Jeremy Corbyn will be producing the next Stormzy album. The album will be produced in a reclaimed timber shed on...
Nun Fanny Nicentite

Local Nun in record attempt to raise the roof

A local Nun from Sacred Heart Church in Rochdale could soon become famous for a world record attempt if, with the help of The...

Peter Pan of Pop Peeves Proud Populace

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Cliff Richards recently learned that South Yorkshire Police will not be pursuing historic sexual abuse claims against him, but he hasn't escaped the wrath...

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