Racist arsehole in Spanish hospital after falling ill with pneumonia
A violent, egomaniacal racist arsehole is being treated for pneumonia after being admitted to hospital in Majorca.
Men in Rural England “Shitting Themselves” as Helen Titchener Walks Free
Men up and down the UK will now be sleeping with one eye open and replacing all the knives in the house with plastic...
X Factor Totally Not Fixed, Insists Producer Sepp Blatter
After accusations that contestant duo, The Brooks, have financial links to has-been Stock, Aitken and Watermelon product Sinitta and were also guaranteed success on...
Do you have the X Factor? Join in our interactive game.
X Factor fans will be delighted to see the return of the unfathomably popular "talent" show this evening.
To celebrate the new series we at...
Breadxit: The Great British Taken Off
Love productions, the company behind mindless dirge The Great British Bake Off, has said its show will no longer appear on the BBC after...
Florence and Dougal quit UK over Brexit fears
In a shock move, Magic Roundabout stars Florence and Dougal have announced they are quitting the UK to move back to their native France...
Hollywood shocked as no Fast & Furious movie released this week after star’s arrest
Hollywood bigwigs and film goers alike were left reeling by the news that the seemingly endless Fast and Furious franchise does not have a...
If Barry Manilow is gay then I’m a Catholic says Pope
Housewives favourite and renowned woman shagger Barry Manilow stunned the world yesterday by finally revealing he's gay.
Gove cast as Tick-Tock in Rupert Murdoch’s adaption of ‘Peter Pan’
An all star cast is to appear in seasoned stage director Rupert Murdoch's new adaptation of the J. M. Barrie classic 'Peter Pan'.
Michael Gove...
Paul Hollywood found dead after ‘eating himself’
Master baker, Paul Hollywood's human remains were found a few hours ago in a Premier Inn in Clitheroe.
"All that was left was his right...
Parents of nativity play’s King Herod unsure what this says about their parenting
A Rochdale teacher has been telling the Herald about how this year's school nativity has been dogged by endless controversy.
The teacher, who asked not...
Hollywood blockbuster may not feature Benedict Cumberbatch
Controversy struck Hollywood today when news broke that a new high budget movie might not feature Bendable Cramplebitch.
"2017 is a brand new year," said...
Cabinet to watch Game of Thrones to pick up tips on killing each other
Theresa May has reportedly ordered her cabinet, and junior ministers, to watch Game of Thrones in order to get better at killing one another.
This...
This weeks Soap headlines
The Rochdale Herald: Giving you all the goss!
Emmerdale Farm
It's all twists and turns this week as someone has a brew from the cafe and...
I wish it could be Brexit everyday
When the pounds begins to fall
and economic growth begins to stall
It puts a great big smile on a remainer’s face
If you dive...
Channel 4 to launch Halal-friendly version of Countdown
Channel 4 has announced plans to launch a 'Halal-friendly' version of its popular quiz show, Countdown.
An established favourite with pensioners, students and people who...
