Band Aid 2016 to raise Buckingham Palace repair costs

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A new version of 'Do they Know is Christmas?' has been released in time for the Christmas number one top spot. The track by Bob...

Diane Abbott confirmed as new host for next series of NumberWang!

Labour MP and maths whiz Diane Abbott has been confirmed today as the new host of NumberWang!, the daytime TV quiz show.  Speaking today from...
Peter Capaldi

Flying a Tardis is so easy even a woman can do it, Peter Capaldi...

7
“Putting a woman in the Tardis is like putting a woman in Number Ten. And we all know how well that went!” Capaldi said,...

70 year old scouser claims he was never a Roadie for The Beatles

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Stephen Scully from knotty Ash in Liverpool has come forward to make the quite outrageous claim that he was never ever a roadie for...

‘Darkest Hour’ movie just two hours of Churchill shagging

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Viewers have reacted with shock after the new Winston Churchill biopic, Darkest Hour, depicted Britain's former wartime Prime Minister having sex for two hours...
Ant and Dec

I’m A Celebrity host seen tampering with a parachute following announcement that K***e H*****s...

0
Following the shock decision to give Ms Hopkins, who has been sacked from numerous broadcasting jobs because of her wordhole, a spot on one...

“One walk a day more than enough” say The Proclaimers

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Following Prime Minister Boris Johnson's announcement that the UK is now in a state of national emergency and that citizens are only permitted to...

BBC to replace Great British Bake off with The Super English Cake Off

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I resent the implication - said an angry Tracy Naylor, head of food entertainment at the Beeb who had agreed to meet me in...

Oscar winning director Jonathan Demme dies aged 73

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Oscar winning director Jonathan Demme has died aged 73. Filmmaker Jonathan Demme, whose Oscar-winning thriller "The Silence of the Lambs" terrified audiences and introduced...
Goldie

Who the fuck is Goldie, asks Banksy

2
The deliberately modest and ultra secretive celebrity, Goldie, yesterday potentially revealed  the identity of serial graffiti artist and liberal metropolitan elite caricature, Banksy, in...

Mary Berry to retire from television

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With the news that The Great British Bake-Off is to move to Channel 4, host and national treasure Mary Berry has announced her retirement...
Lord Sugar from The Apprentice

All contestants to win The Apprentice this year

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The BBC has forced Sir Alan Sugar to allow everyone in the current series of The Apprentice to be given a job in the...

Diane Abbott To Play Nigel Farage In Brexit The Movie

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In a surprising turn, it has just been announced that a movie of Brexit is to be made and the part of Nigel Farage is...

Fatboy runs away from the Ball

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The worlds biggest celebrity couple, Ball and Slim, have sadly announced they are to divorce after 18 years of party-hard marriage.

Putin Accused in Rogue One Plan Hack Report

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Emperor Palpatine has sensationally accused Russia of interfering in the internal affairs of the Galactic Empire. He has warned that the Empire will retaliate for...

Stupid Rochdale man flattered by clickbait

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Exceptionally dim Rochdale man Brian Kershaw was yesterday super excited after answering nearly all of the questions correctly in an online quiz. Before he clicked...

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