I’m not homophobic, you’re just a filthy sinner! says singer
It's alright to be a judgey bigoted fuck if it's based on Bronze Age superstition, singer Kim Burrell is insisting.
BBC’s Sooty and Sweep Caught “off-air” in Soo Scandal
The ongoing horror of the BBC's handling of the Soo the Panda sexing-up scandal took another dramatic twist last night as footage emerged of...
Rochdale women clubbing dressed in police tape
Fashionable Rochdale women have found a rather special use for police tape - as clothing to hit the town in.
Local artist and bin man,...
Donald Trump Twitter Account wins Nobel Prize for fiction
The American character actor, author and comedian behind the Twitter Account, @realdonaldtrump, has scooped the Nobel Prize award for the best work of fiction...
BBC News “Medal Rush” Satire Wins Best Joke Award At Edinburgh
In a break from tradition the funniest joke award at ths years Edinburgh Festival has been awarded to BBC News.
"Normally we just look for...
Simon Cowell’s stairs win Brit Award for outstanding contribution to music industry
Simon Cowell’s stairs have received a Brit Award for their outstanding contribution to the music industry after the reality TV star was found unconscious...
Man who’s ‘sick of reboots’ stops watching them
A man who claims that reboots of movies shouldn't be allowed because they always ruin the originals has stopped watching them.
Trevor Sallis, an office...
Mike Pence attends Broadway musical by mistake
Vice-President elect Mike Pence was roundly booed after he attended a performance of Broadway musical ‘Hamilton’ entirely by accident.
Racist arsehole in Spanish hospital after falling ill with pneumonia
A violent, egomaniacal racist arsehole is being treated for pneumonia after being admitted to hospital in Majorca.
Fifty Shades Of Grey to become the government’s new race relations manual
We’ve all heard the expression about not judging a book by its cover, but one of the most notorious books of the current decade...
Tolkein With Tits set to dominate office conversations as Game of Thrones returns
As the umpteenth series of the godawful fantasy franchise "Game of Thrones" is due to air on Murdoch-vision this week, those with more refined...
Duchess of Cambridge to host special royal edition of Bake Off
Hot on the news that she is expecting her third child Channel 4 has announced that the Duchess of Cambridge is to present a...
V&A apologises for asking man who whipped his Albert out to cover up
The Victoria and Albert Museum has apologised after a man said he was asked to "cover up" while whipping his cock out for a...
Gritty realism of Doctor Who ‘stretched beyond credulity’ by absence of penis
Hard-hitting documentary Doctor Who, dedicated to exposing the harsh reality of spontaneously-regenerating Time Lords, has become 'a laughing stock ruined by periods', agree internet...
Pinocchio to play Nigel Farage in hotly awaited biopic
Requests from the public to name the film have had to be abandoned. They were either correctly spelled expletives or poorly written praise so hard to comprehend that the staffer responsible for sifting through the responses incurred a nose bleed.
Hollywood shocked as no Fast & Furious movie released this week after star’s arrest
Hollywood bigwigs and film goers alike were left reeling by the news that the seemingly endless Fast and Furious franchise does not have a...
