Mel Brooks quits movies, I’ve been Trumped, he says
Legendary film director Mel Brooks has called it quits with Hollywood after more than fifty years saying he can no longer compete with reality...
Bradley Walsh cast on Doctor Who to tackle underrepresentation of middle aged white men
Popular presenter of ITV’s The Chase, Bradley Walsh, has been announced today as a new companion in long running BBC sci-fi show, Doctor Who.
The...
Musicians speak at upset of knowing that Tories like their work
Distraught musicians Florence Welch and Calvin Harris have spoken out at their horror of discovering that they have next to no control over what...
George Osborne confirmed as 13th Doctor Who
Versatile former Chancellor to play austere Time Lord. George Osborne, the former Chancellor turned newspaper editor and investment management firm lobbyist, has been announced today...
Blank screen favourite to win Britain’s Got Talent
The blank screen caused by technical difficulties during Britain's Got Talent is now firm favourite to win.
Bookies are giving the screen more favourable odds...
Big Brother viewers in shock that vapid celebrities are vapid
Viewers of one of Channel 5's only TV shows with an audience, Celebrity Big Brother, are in shock today after it came to light...
Veteran grime artist G to the Ozzo blasts government with fresh diss track
In a blistering attack worthy of such Hip Hop classics Tupac Shakur's Hit Em up and Nas Escobar's Ether.
Candice wins Great British Pout Off 2016
Candice from Bedfordshire has won The Great British Pout Off after ten gruelling weeks of televised puckering.
Bake Off Champion Candice announces conversion to Islam
Candice Clay, winner of the 2016 Great British Bake off, has sensationally announced She is converting to Islam.
New Doctor Who already hates Jeremy Hunt
The new Doctor hasn't even reanimated yet and already she has fallen out with Jeremy Hunt.
The Doctor told the Herald, "Jeremy asked to see...
Ralphs to go back to original pronunciation
Ralphs across the globe have collectively decided that they no longer like being called 'Raif'.
Ralph Johnson of Middleton said;
"Because Ralph Fiennes started calling himself...
Leonard Cohen ready to die because 2016 is a total wanksplat
82 year old legend, and the only man currently able to wear a Fedora without looking like an absolute twat, Leonard Cohen has announced...
Jack Whitehall cast in lead role in Idris Elba biopic
Over the weekend the actor and "comedian" Jack Whitehall took to social media to address rumours that he might play Idris Elba in the...
Gritty realism of Doctor Who ‘stretched beyond credulity’ by absence of penis
Hard-hitting documentary Doctor Who, dedicated to exposing the harsh reality of spontaneously-regenerating Time Lords, has become 'a laughing stock ruined by periods', agree internet...
Television viewers shocked to discover drama series that doesn’t involve paedophiles
Viewers of a new TV drama series have spoken of their shock at discovering that it didn't involve paedophillia at any point.
Departure, a new...
Band Aid 2016 to raise Buckingham Palace repair costs
A new version of 'Do they Know is Christmas?' has been released in time for the Christmas number one top spot.
The track by Bob...
