George Osborne confirmed as 13th Doctor Who
Versatile former Chancellor to play austere Time Lord. George Osborne, the former Chancellor turned newspaper editor and investment management firm lobbyist, has been announced today...
Television viewers shocked to discover drama series that doesn’t involve paedophiles
Viewers of a new TV drama series have spoken of their shock at discovering that it didn't involve paedophillia at any point.
Departure, a new...
Fatboy runs away from the Ball
The worlds biggest celebrity couple, Ball and Slim, have sadly announced they are to divorce after 18 years of party-hard marriage.
“Messiah” Corbyn Denies Anti-Semitism as Links to ‘People’s Front of Judea’ Emerge
Jeremy Corbyn was today forced to again deny claims of Anti-Semitism after it emerged that he had "strong links" to the Palestinian terrorist organisation...
Emmy Awards honour pale minorities
Rami Malek has won the Emmy Award for best leading actor in a drama. He is the first minority actor to win in 18...
Ann Widdecombe suspended over Strictly sex abuse claims
Privy Councillor and former Tory MP Ann Widdecombe has been suspended from the Conservative Party after shocking claims of historical abuse and inappropriate conduct...
Couldn’t organise a piss up at a brewery now Couldn’t open an envelope at...
People bored with ways of describing the gross ineptitude they see around them on a daily basis in work, in the media, in government and politics...
Men in Rural England “Shitting Themselves” as Helen Titchener Walks Free
Men up and down the UK will now be sleeping with one eye open and replacing all the knives in the house with plastic...
X Factor Totally Not Fixed, Insists Producer Sepp Blatter
After accusations that contestant duo, The Brooks, have financial links to has-been Stock, Aitken and Watermelon product Sinitta and were also guaranteed success on...
Ant in rehab after Dec shoots him in the eye with paintball gun
The North East was rocked today as Ant revealed he has been shot in the eye by long time friend and co-presenter Dec.
Man who once burnt a Pot Noodle looking forward to another night of shouting...
A man whose cooking skills don't extend beyond pressing the 'start' button on his microwave is looking forward to another night of shouting at...
Bake Off Champion Candice announces conversion to Islam
Candice Clay, winner of the 2016 Great British Bake off, has sensationally announced She is converting to Islam.
Britain First drop ‘We Will Rock You’ theme on learning Freddie Mercury’s Indian heritage
In a documentary about the life and death of Freddie Mercury, which recently aired on the biffer TV network, Channel 5, it was pointed out...
Katie Hopkins reluctantly buys conventional toilet after running out of platforms to shit from.
Katie Hopkins has been spotted in the bathroom section of Homebase today, after being forced to find a conventional way to dispose of her...
BBC Announce Sequel to ‘Bake Off’
Following the loss of ‘The Great British Bake Off’ to a rival commercial channel, the BBC have been struggling to come up with another...
Millennium Falcon and on and on and on
As fans eagerly anticipate the latest film in the Star Wars saga, Rogue One, plans have been revealed for yet more films to be made.
