Pretentious local “hadn’t noticed” new Doctor Who Was female
In the UK we all know and love the kids TV show Doctor Who, because that's what we're told to do by the BBC....
Musicians speak at upset of knowing that Tories like their work
Distraught musicians Florence Welch and Calvin Harris have spoken out at their horror of discovering that they have next to no control over what...
Channel 4 GBBO winner to bake Noel Fielding into space cake and consume him
Television pundits were going mad this afternoon with the leaked news that the finale of Great British Bake Off on Channel 4 features the...
Meat Loaf isn’t dead
Apparently Meat Loaf isn't dead and has a new album coming out, on account of still being alive.
The big breasted Fight Club singer apparently...
Parents across the country prepare to encourage their kids to defy them
Yes, it's that time of the year again, the nights are drawing in, there's a chill in the air and knob heads can't wait...
Social services called after Rochdale father makes children watch Watership Down
A child in Norden has been reduced to a blubbering wreck after watching the animated classic Watership Down.
What initially appeared to be a pleasant film,...
Blank screen favourite to win Britain’s Got Talent
The blank screen caused by technical difficulties during Britain's Got Talent is now firm favourite to win.
Bookies are giving the screen more favourable odds...
Blade Runner sequel to be every bit as good as Prometheus
The news that the sequel to Sci Fi classic Blade Runner is being banged together finally made the news today after a worker was...
Journalist who faked own death to replace Andrew Lincoln on The Walking Dead
Russian journalist, Arkady Babchenko, who was believed to have been murdered has turned up alive and announced he will be replacing Andrew Lincoln in, The...
Emmy Awards honour pale minorities
Rami Malek has won the Emmy Award for best leading actor in a drama. He is the first minority actor to win in 18...
Man who’s ‘sick of reboots’ stops watching them
A man who claims that reboots of movies shouldn't be allowed because they always ruin the originals has stopped watching them.
Trevor Sallis, an office...
Lannisters appoint Michael Gove as Minister for Backstabbing
Rumours swirling about Westminster Green today suggest Michael Gove has been successfully headhunted by a recruitment specialist operating out of Westeros.
It's believed Mr Gove...
Arsehole dies in Karmic Avalanche
An arsehole died on Saturday in an avalanche of karma whilst trying to piss off and murder a massive angry bull in front of...
Nigel Farage makes surprise appearance at Rochdale circus
The audience at Rochdale's Junkie Bros Circus certainly got more than they bargained for last night when Farage entered the ring. In a bizarre...
Men in Rural England “Shitting Themselves” as Helen Titchener Walks Free
Men up and down the UK will now be sleeping with one eye open and replacing all the knives in the house with plastic...
It’s Official. Report Confirms James Corden Is Not Funny
The showbiz world is in shock today as it was announced that James Corden is not funny.
Following inappropriate ‘jokes’ made by Corden about...
