Knives sharper than the tools carrying them

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Causes of knife crime confirmed to be poor choices of dead victims As knife crime continues to plague the streets of the capital, a bleeding...

Pooh denies grooming allegations

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Aging entertainer Winnie The Pooh is in the headlines again as yet another scandal dogs him. The bear, who was linked to a series of...
Terroist

British Patriots demand Register of Terrorists

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Paul Golding has picked up the baton from Nick Griffin today in calling for a Register of Potential Terrorists. The call comes in the wake...

Unnamed Rochdale MP to be charged with being drunk in charge of a mobility...

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An as yet unnamed MP for Rochdale has allegedly been arrested for being drunk in charge of a mobility scooter. Police were called in the...

Government takes time off from covering up child abuse to tell people what kind...

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The UK Government has taken time off from failing the victims of institutional child abuse and covering the tracks of high profile paedophiles to tell people what kind of pornography they're allowed to watch.
Gun held in front of American flag

Fatal logic feedback loop kills five more Americans

2
America has once again been proved right as yet another mass shooting takes place in shopping mall and nobody armed inside could shoot the...

Teresa May in Dogging Scandal

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This seemed to be the headline that the Daily Mirror were fruitlessly alluding to in their article about a condom found in some woods...
Chainsaw Surgeon

Rochdale man caught speeding forced to sell kidney to pay fine

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Plumber, John Thomason of Norden was caught doing 42 on Edenfield Road, which has a limit of 40 on that stretch. He has been fined...
Toddler Prisoner

Government plans to lower age of criminal responsibility to 2 YEARS OLD

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To help with the deficit, the government will be lowering the age of criminal responsibility to 2. The age of criminal responsibility is currently...
ISIS

Isis Claims Responsibility for Education Fair Funding Formula Terror

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In a shock announcement this morning, that surprised no one, a spokes-stool for Isis (other names are available) claimed credit for the proposed funding...

5000 American tourists arrested for ‘hostile reconnaissance’.

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The Metropolitan Police Hostile Reconnaissance Unit has arrested more than 5,000 American tourists in the last two days.
Angry Man Shouting

Dyslexic holocaust denier accused of being anti-semantic

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"It's them Joos again!" exclaimed Noel Iteracy. "I hate Joos, except Orange Juice, they was a good band, but Big Country was huge twats...

Julian Assange plans quiet Christmas at home

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Julian Assange has confirmed that he will be having a quiet Christmas at home this year. In a telephone call Mr Assange told us,...
Man holding a gun

America in shock after a live streamed dispute is resolved without a single shot...

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Americans were rocked to the core today to find that it was possible to resolve a dispute without gunfire. Chuck Henderson, a 7-Eleven employee from...

H revealed to be H in shocking Line of Duty twist

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In a shocking plot twist the mysterious crime boss 'H' has been revealed to be H in the finale of Line of Duty In a...

Cocaine price plummets after death of Tara Palmer Tomkinson

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The National Crime Agency has warned MP's that the Class A drug is 'set to flood the market' after the untimely death of Tara...

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