Donald Trump arrested for vandalism after smashing own star

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News broke a short while ago that Donald Trump's celebrity star had been smashed to bits on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. A Mexican man...

Arsehole starts fight and loses, man he started fight with arrested

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A dickhead has died in a karmic avalanche after breaking into the home of a 78 year old.
Policing

Cuts in police lead to cuts in Londoners

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Leaked Home Office document reveals correlation between law enforcement and criminality. A fall in police numbers is likely to have contributed to a rise in...

Rochdale mum binge watched Netflix documentaries and is now blood spatter expert

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52 year old mother of two Janice Longthorne has spent so many hours watching Netflix shows such as 'Making a Murderer' (seasons one and...

Mike Hookem’s Dad officially bigger than Steven Woolfe’s Dad

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Following an altercation in Strasbourg yesterday between two fully grown adult men, Mike Hookem and Steven Wolfe, UKIP released a statement saying;
Paramedics transporting Nigel Farage to the ambulance

Rochdale man thrown from office window

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A Rochdale man is in a critical condition after he was thrown out of the third floor window of his office kitchenette. Mr Dickinson (39...

Forensics Team called after Amber Rudd murders her career

2
Home Secretary Amber Rudd sounded like your mate's racist pissed wife at a children's Christmas party during her speech yesterday. West Midlands Police have said...
Rioters

Riots as Car Boot Sales End

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Riots have broken out across England as towns and villages end car boot sales for the winter. Police have reported disturbances across the country as...
Marty McFly

Marty McFly and Dr Emmett Brown arrested for crimes against humanity for failing to...

0
The time travelling duo, Marty McFly and Dr Emmett Brown, are currently being held in the custody of Sheriff James Strickland in Hill Valley, Northern California. Strickland...
ISIS

Isis Claims Responsibility for Education Fair Funding Formula Terror

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In a shock announcement this morning, that surprised no one, a spokes-stool for Isis (other names are available) claimed credit for the proposed funding...

Nelson Mandela House in Peckham Evacuated After 20,000 Litres of Luminous Paint Found in...

9
Hundreds of residents of Nelson Mandela House in Peckham have been evacuated after 20,000 Litres of highly flammable, luminous yellow paint was found stockpiled...
Young boy, smiling proudly,  wearing police uniform holding a whistle and a truncheon

Rochdale – Police Given Emergency Powers to “Get Tough” After Bexley Brawl

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Following the largest known brawl on the streets of Britain in the post war period, Police have been given extra powers to "get tough"...
Police Raid

Jobs with street value of £25 million found in flat of immigrant scrounger

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The recent drought of jobs for British citizens has been an ongoing concern. Tirelessly the DWP and businesses have been desperately trying to scramble...
Terroist

ISIS Claim Responsibility for Chimney Destruction in Kent

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So called ISIS or Islamic State today sensationally claimed responsibility for the destruction of the the Grain Power Station Chimney in Kent. In a Facebook...

Obviously McCanns done it, case closed by bloke down the pub

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After ten years everybody and their dog is still absolutely convinced that they know exactly what happened in the Maddie McCann tragedy in Portugal. “It’s...
Gun held in front of American flag

Fatal logic feedback loop kills five more Americans

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America has once again been proved right as yet another mass shooting takes place in shopping mall and nobody armed inside could shoot the...

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