Pooh denies grooming allegations

0
Aging entertainer Winnie The Pooh is in the headlines again as yet another scandal dogs him. The bear, who was linked to a series of...
Police

Amber Rudd confirms extra police will be provided from Magic Bobby Tree

1
The Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, said “The Met have deployed extra police to reassure communities especially those observing Ramadan." This is the fourth time...

5000 American tourists arrested for ‘hostile reconnaissance’.

0
The Metropolitan Police Hostile Reconnaissance Unit has arrested more than 5,000 American tourists in the last two days.
Free Tommy Robinson

‘Off to free Tommy Robinson’ replaces ‘dropping kids off at the pool’ as UK’s...

0
News is just in that spot poll of everybody in the UK has revealed today that the UK's favourite synonym for taking a dump...

Arsehole starts fight and loses, man he started fight with arrested

0
A dickhead has died in a karmic avalanche after breaking into the home of a 78 year old.
Hillsborough

Hillsborough survivors reassure families of Grenfell Tower victims that justice will be swift

69
Hillsborough a fine benchmark. Reports are reaching Herald HQ that Grenfell survivors paused on their way out of the tower to loot the dead. They...
Ambulance Katie Hopkins

Katie Hopkins hospitalised after choking on apology to Muslim

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Katie Hopkins was driven slowly to hospital yesterday after choking on the word "sorry" while typing a court ordered apology to the Mahmoud family.
Tommy Robinson

Tommy Robinson wins coveted softest mouth in Hull prison award

0
Tommy Robinson has been voted HMP Hull's softest mouth award. Mr Robinson will be awarded the prize in a ceremony to be held on the...

Daily Mail Editor suicidal with remorse over Jo Cox murder immigrant headline jibe

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There were scenes of jubilation around the country this afternoon after Paul Dacre "did the decent thing" and shot himself with a revolver after drinking half a bottle of scotch at Northcliffe House.

Black Cops to shoot unarmed white civilians in controversial Charlotte anti-racism plan

0
Charlotte Police Department have unveiled a controversial yet utterly foolproof plan to combat claims that their police force is institutionally racist. They're going to let...

Assange ready to be extradited from his own arse

8
Julian Assange has confirmed that he is willing to be extradited from his own arse following Barack Obama’s decision to commute the sentence of US Army...

Jeremy Hunt victim of cruel nominative determinism sting operation

0
?UK health secretary Jeremy Hunt has fallen victim to a cruel nominative determinism sting operation perpetrated by an East European cockney rhyming slang gang,...
Angry Man Shouting

Dyslexic holocaust denier accused of being anti-semantic

0
"It's them Joos again!" exclaimed Noel Iteracy. "I hate Joos, except Orange Juice, they was a good band, but Big Country was huge twats...

Scatter Cushion Killer walks free

0
Rochdale Crown Court today saw the conclusion of the now infamous "Scatter Cushion Slaying" case. The accused, Abraham Smith (54), from the Sink Estate pleaded...

Tommy Robinson fitted with Cone of Shame

108
Ex-EDL frontman turned solo hate preacher, Tommy Robinson, has become the first human to be fitted with a "cone of shame." Medical professionals deemed the...
Rochdale paramedics

Daily Mail Editor sectioned after being confused by photograph of white terrorist

0
The Editor of The Daily Mail was carried out of Northcliffe House in a straitjacket this morning after a photograph of a white man...

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