Black Friday riots as Asda sell trolleys for £1
Riot police had to be called to a Rochdale Asda today following a bout of civil disorder. Heavy discounts meant customers could purchase trolleys...
Ronald McDonald found dead close to his home
The beloved obesity peddler Ronald McDonald was found dead in the street in the early hours of this morning. The cause of death is...
MP claims he was researching book on whether breasts make noises like clown horns
Leading MP Pete Who speaks out after being named in the Dirty Dossier.
The Member of Parliament for Goveshire West, Pete Who, has given a...
Daily Mail claim Koran found propping up wobbly table leg in Thomas Mair’s kitchen
In a shocking turn of events, the Daily Mail have claimed police forensics have revealed to them that during the investigation into Thomas Mair...
Isis Claims Responsibility for Education Fair Funding Formula Terror
In a shock announcement this morning, that surprised no one, a spokes-stool for Isis (other names are available) claimed credit for the proposed funding...
Beer thieving ‘Ross’ looklike sentenced to watch every single episode of ‘Friends’.
A shoplifting, David Schwimmer look-a-like has been sentenced to watch every single episode of 'Friends' in one sitting, including 'The One Where They Were...
Rochdale trolley collector quits job, anaesthetises pigeon and cuts off let to pursue career...
A Rochdale man has today spoken exclusively to the Herald about his short-lived career as a pirate.
Captain Lidl Beard had been working as a...
Rochdale Prison To Hold Open Day
A popular Rochdale prison is to hold an open day this July to help spread awareness of the work they do.
HM Prison Buckley Hall...
G4S win contract to run Guantanamo Bay
Top US officials today confirmed that security company G4S have been granted the contract to oversee all operations in the somewhat controversial detention centre...
Jacob Rees-Mogg snapped drinking mead on the night bus
Haunted hatstand Jacob Rees-Mogg has been forced to issue an apology today after he was snapped drinking mead on the night bus on Tuesday.
The...
Intentional explosions totally different to terror
After around 30 people were injured, many more shocked and people consequently feeling terrified, New York officials are keen to point out that the...
Reports of widespread rioting across UK takes government by surprise
Tonight, the U.K. Is in disarray. The major cities of London, Manchester, Liverpool, Leeds and Birmingham are in lockdown with reports of outbreaks of...
UKIP corruption proves EU corruption say UKIP
Documents leaked to Sky News showing that, should results be confirmed, UKIP have been misappropriating EU cash prove that the EU is dodgy, claimed...
Knives sharper than the tools carrying them
Causes of knife crime confirmed to be poor choices of dead victims
As knife crime continues to plague the streets of the capital, a bleeding...
Head of the Mafia innocent of being in Mafia says jury of Mafia members
The head of the Mafia, 4 Tony's Tony is definitely not part of the Mafia after a jury made up of members of the...
Rochdale porn shop raider beaten off with sex toy
In a bizarre turn of events at Rochdale's number one marital aid retailer, Coxfam, a robbery was foiled when a masked intruder was beaten...
