Prison not a muslamic themed holiday camp after all says Paul Golding

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Paul Golding, hero of the Free British Peoples and shiny-faced wankpuffin, has told Britain Furst colleagues that it turns out prisons are not "Butlins...

Mike Hookem’s Dad officially bigger than Steven Woolfe’s Dad

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Following an altercation in Strasbourg yesterday between two fully grown adult men, Mike Hookem and Steven Wolfe, UKIP released a statement saying;

South Yorkshire Police arrest tree during tree felling protest

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The long standing dispute over the unpopular and legally dubious felling of Sheffield street trees took a bizarre new turn when South Yorkshire Police...
Paramedics transporting Nigel Farage to the ambulance

Rochdale man thrown from office window

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A Rochdale man is in a critical condition after he was thrown out of the third floor window of his office kitchenette. Mr Dickinson (39...
Ambulance Katie Hopkins

Katie Hopkins hospitalised after choking on apology to Muslim

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Katie Hopkins was driven slowly to hospital yesterday after choking on the word "sorry" while typing a court ordered apology to the Mahmoud family.
Terroist

ISIS Claim Responsibility for Chimney Destruction in Kent

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So called ISIS or Islamic State today sensationally claimed responsibility for the destruction of the the Grain Power Station Chimney in Kent. In a Facebook...

Archbishop Welby kicks shit out of Nigel Farage following Twitter spat

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Archbishop Welby is currently helping police with their enquiries in Westminster after allegedly kerb stomping Nigel Farage.
Chainsaw Surgeon

Rochdale man caught speeding forced to sell kidney to pay fine

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Plumber, John Thomason of Norden was caught doing 42 on Edenfield Road, which has a limit of 40 on that stretch. He has been fined...

Rochdale trolley collector quits job, anaesthetises pigeon and cuts off let to pursue career...

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A Rochdale man has today spoken exclusively to the Herald about his short-lived career as a pirate. Captain Lidl Beard had been working as a...
Prison Bars

Rochdale Prison To Hold Open Day

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A popular Rochdale prison is to hold an open day this July to help spread awareness of the work they do. HM Prison Buckley Hall...

Jacob Rees-Mogg snapped drinking mead on the night bus

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Haunted hatstand Jacob Rees-Mogg has been forced to issue an apology today after he was snapped drinking mead on the night bus on Tuesday.  The...

Reports of widespread rioting across UK takes government by surprise

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Tonight, the U.K. Is in disarray. The major cities of London, Manchester, Liverpool, Leeds and Birmingham are in lockdown with reports of outbreaks of...

UKIP corruption proves EU corruption say UKIP

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Documents leaked to Sky News showing that, should results be confirmed, UKIP have been misappropriating EU cash prove that the EU is dodgy, claimed...

Knives sharper than the tools carrying them

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Causes of knife crime confirmed to be poor choices of dead victims As knife crime continues to plague the streets of the capital, a bleeding...

Man beaten white and gold by the Police

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We at the Rochdale Herald really liked this headline but couldn't think of a way of making even slightly believable. What follows is some made...

Rochdale porn shop raider beaten off with sex toy

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In a bizarre turn of events at Rochdale's number one marital aid retailer, Coxfam, a robbery was foiled when a masked intruder was beaten...

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