Paramedics transporting Nigel Farage to the ambulance

Rochdale man thrown from office window

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A Rochdale man is in a critical condition after he was thrown out of the third floor window of his office kitchenette. Mr Dickinson (39...

Police get extra £85 to fund additional 6 minute search for missing school girl

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Abigail Walsh was just 7 years old when she went missing from a caravan site, on a family holiday in Blackpool, 10 years ago. Her...
Free Tommy Robinson

‘Off to free Tommy Robinson’ replaces ‘dropping kids off at the pool’ as UK’s...

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News is just in that spot poll of everybody in the UK has revealed today that the UK's favourite synonym for taking a dump...

Tommy Robinson fitted with Cone of Shame

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Ex-EDL frontman turned solo hate preacher, Tommy Robinson, has become the first human to be fitted with a "cone of shame." Medical professionals deemed the...

Basil Brush on the defensive as police release CCTV image of ‘Croydon Cat Killer’

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Television celebrity Basil Brush has been forced to reject allegations that he is responsible for the gruesome deaths of over 400 cats across London and the...
Asda

Black Friday riots as Asda sell trolleys for £1

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Riot police had to be called to a Rochdale Asda today following a bout of civil disorder. Heavy discounts meant customers could purchase trolleys...
Milk Tray Man

Milk Tray man jailed for breaking and entering

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A former chocolate delivery man broke into dozens of women’s homes over a 50 year period leaving unwanted chocolates and creepy handwritten notes. Gary Myers, 76...

MP claims he was researching book on whether breasts make noises like clown horns

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Leading MP Pete Who speaks out after being named in the Dirty Dossier. The Member of Parliament for Goveshire West, Pete Who, has given a...

Daily Mail Editor suicidal with remorse over Jo Cox murder immigrant headline jibe

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There were scenes of jubilation around the country this afternoon after Paul Dacre "did the decent thing" and shot himself with a revolver after drinking half a bottle of scotch at Northcliffe House.

Trump’s Alt-Assassination. The Facts.

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Reports that Donald Trump had been assassinated by a mentally disturbed right-wing white Southerner were denied by the White House yesterday. The world press was...

Police force man to remove clothing on Rochdale beach

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Photographs have emerged of armed police confronting a diver on Rochdale's now notorious Stansfield Beach. In this most recent effort to enforce new laws...
Paddington Bear

Outrage as Paddington Bear deported back to Peru

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Much loved star of children's literature, TV and films, Paddington Bear, has been arrested and deported to Peru, as part of a round up of...
Angry White Man Daily Mail

Government hires Daily Mail readers to beef up security strategy

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Downing Street has announced plans to employ Daily Mail readers as a team of specialist civilian advisers as it steps up efforts to improve...

EDL firebombs PC World in Rochdale town centre

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The computer superstore PC World, this morning lies in tatters as a pile of smouldering rubble following a devastating attack last night.  The trouble began...
Tommy Robinson

Tommy Robinson wins coveted softest mouth in Hull prison award

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Tommy Robinson has been voted HMP Hull's softest mouth award. Mr Robinson will be awarded the prize in a ceremony to be held on the...

Rochdale Murderer Caught

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There was shock and disbelief amongst Rochdale motorists yesterday as the police went out and caught a murderer, instead of stopping poor innocent speed...

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